3 1/2 months post op. NEED HELP/SUGGESTIONS PLS.!

[sunshine16]

Hi,

I have posted here before under pre- treatment.  Had a 4.5 cm. tumor, surgeons considered it large.  I had my surgery back on November 15.  It went well.  Still trying to get strong Physically and I think I'm doing better, much better.  My problem right now, is getting strong Mentally.  I just feel like I'm a total different person.  By the way I think.  I thought I have depression, so called up my doctor to asked for anti depressant, but the Rx made me soo dizzy, couldn't sleep, no appetite to eat, not into my husband anymore (you know what I mean), in short the side effect made me worse.  I feel like crap all the time.... I'm wondering if everyone went through surgery feel this way?  I could just be sad one time and then happy and energetic next minute?  How long will this last.  I feel like sometimes I can't go on anymore.

Please, I need your support every one....... thank you!!!!

[Boppie]

After major surgery most patients experience some level of depression, change in appetite, loss of libido, or sadness. Your tumor was large, a significant surgical event for your body.  Your body as well as your mind have to recover strength.

I grieved for lost hearing for several days.  I'd had depressions before and knew what to do.  I exercised.  I watched only happy movies.  I listened to upbeat music.  I cleaned.

You are right, it's depression...You are not alone!  Tell your doctor how you feel and ask for a different antidepression med.   There are drugs whose affects are short term and mild enough to allow you to function all day.   

Take action, exercise, go out amongst people, use a support group.  Loss of hearing and "life the way it was", and the "new normal" are common topics to AN'ers.  You are already on the right track by seeking out people to talk with.  We are here to listen to you.   

Just keep us posted. I'd love to hear from you every day.

[Joef]

I've read that it takes 1 week to 1 month per hour of surgery to get your energy level back! ..

so if you had a 6+ hour surgery like I did .. It could take 6 months before you feel "right" ..

[Pembo]

Hi there. I went thru exactly what you are right now. It does pass but it took awhile for me. Email if you'd like to talk   My tumor was 4 cm and surgery was 16 hours. The drs told me 1 week for every hour of surgery for the anesthesia to completely exit your system. And it was a good 3 months before I felt better.

[sunshine16]

I just want to say thank you for everyone, who have responded to my post.  It means soo much to me and very helpful to know that someone else is experiencing or had experienced what I'm going through right now.  It's pretty tough for me to go through this change because I didn't expected it.  I struggled to get physically strong for 3 months and now, mentally???... But with God's help and every ones support here, I know I can get through this.........  Thanks Pembo, Joef, and Boppie..... 

Boppie,  thanks for all the tips.  I think the reason why I got sad or depressed was, for 3 days I isolated myself and just stayed in my room listening to music nothing but sentimental musics, watched sad movies,  and thinking too much.  Now, I don't listen to sad music, no more dramas  (just American Idol  ...............) and tried not to think too much.  I don't want to depend on anti depressant medicines.......  I think I should be okay as long as I keep myself happy, exercise, and keep myself busy and mind occupied w/ good and positive things.......  What do you guys think?  Or should I still call my doctor for another kind of Rx or maybe talk to a counselor?  I don't know.....  Is it really necessary to take the med and talk to someone if I'm doing okay? 

   Just a quick note,  My surgery lasted 6 hours.  Surgeons were able to completely removed the tumor.  I had to go through a "gold-weight inplant."  My left face is still paralyzed.( how long that supposed to last?)  My left arm is still weak but getting stronger as days pass.  So, my biggest concern right now, is getting healthy mentally and my face......

[Vincent87]

Mom is 9 months post-op from GK.  It's a disaster.  She's been hospitalized/institutionalized (nursing home) since September.  Mom is on Zoloft.  We were told by the hospital shrink that that drug has the least of neurological components to it.  She was taking 50mg a day but was recently upped to 75mg.  She's also taking Xanax (anti-anxiety drug).  Don't really know if that's working because she has vertigo and hydrocephalus from the GK and ANY minute head adjustment and she gets all frantic and wiggy and dizzy even in bed.  I've friends who have never had an AN and they seem to swear by Wellbutin.  Also, many years ago Mom's general surgeon told her that for each hour that your under (during surgery) it takes a month for your body to eliminate the anesthesia so if you add up ALL these chemicals and not a single one is organic.   I'm rambling...Mom also had some facial palsy (L)-same side as the AN but that cleared up within two or three months.  I don't know if any of this helps.  Best of luck!

[ppearl214]

sunshine, I wish I had easy answers for you... and for us all... but there are no easy answers.   You are very fortunate to have the love and support of your husband, family, friends... and us. :)  I'm pre-treatment now (been in wait/hold for just under a year) and have also been feeling lost, confused, befuddled, anxious, etc.  Like you, I try to be strong but you know what? We are allowed to have our down days. We are allowed to feel overwhelmed at times. We're all going to have our good days and not-so-good days and that's ok.  For all you have been through... for all that all of us are going through... no one ever told us how to feel during this time in our lives.  Keeping yourself busy helps. Keeping focus on other things other than our AN's (or lack thereof) will certainly help.  Just know that we all, at some point or another, feel the exact same way as you. Today was a "not so good" day for me (head wise), so I certainly can understand your feelings. 

sunshine, it's ok to feel as you do.  You are reaching out to others that truly do understand what you are going through (some better than others but overall, we all do understand) and that, to me, is a key step!  We're here for you, we're sending hugs, we're good shoulders if need be (my email box is certainly open to you if you need).  We may not be able to be there with you and give you a good hug that you need, but we are truly "there" with you.

Hang tough hon. I know that sounds rather weird to hear on a forum post, but I know you have it in you to hang tough. 

Hugs to you,
Phyllis

[matti]

Sunshine, you are not alone in feeling this way. I suffered with bouts of depression for several months after my surgery. I went to a therapist and she told me that what I was feeling was normal. There are different areas of emotion that play into depression. Some days I was angry because my energy level was not what it once was or I was frustrated at having lost my hearing during surgery.
I had facial paralysis and kept wondering when that would return. Some days I would think I was depressed, but when I would really pin point it, it was something else. but there were times when I was depressed and I just let myself go with it.

 I am living a "new" normal now and like anything new, it does take some time to get used to. What is important is that you give yourself the time. What I can tell you is that I am almost 8 years post op and doing fine. Do I still get a little depressed sometime? sure! We all have good days and bad days for one reason or another.

Sunshine, you will feel better soon and please know that you have a ton of support from your AN buddies.

I am sending you a hug too

Take care,
matti

[sunshine16]

Thank you very much Vincent, Phyllis, and Matti for taking time responding to my post.  As I said before, it means sooo very much...  I'm glad I joined this support group...  If you guys wanna know me more I have pictures posted in here.......... 

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=headernav

Hugs to all of you............Mwah!!!!!!!!!!!!   God Bless All of you!

[Static]

What everyone said....ditto!  My surgery was just over 2 years ago.  Although, I did give in to the prescription anti depressants and after trying a few things ended up with lexapro, 20 mg.  Seems to make me feel better than I have been although I am now, once again, dealing with the "new normal" and struggling to keep a job I like and is near my home (within 2 miles).  The loss of cognitive skills and memory is really getting me.  Hang in there and I will try to hang with you!

[sunshine16]

I just want to update every one... It's been 4 days since the last time I took the Rx for depression.  I'm happy to tell you guys, that I'm doing really good w/ out it.  I just exercise, and kept my mind in all positive thoughts and ofcourse trust God....  I get sad or depress esp.  in the morning but I fight it. I thought I'd share this with all of you....  and did you guys hear that "bananas" help w/ depression?  Not sure, but why not....... 

[ppearl214]

sunshine, I am soooooooooooo proud of you!!!!  See, you can do it!    Good days, not so good days, they all come around but sunshine, you are doing fabulous and we're ALL here for you!!!!!!!  YAY! 

Phyllis

[Boppie]

Wonderful work.  Keep it up!  Please keep in touch and tell us how you are. 

[Battyp]

I've heard walking helps depression..
I've heard exercise helps depression....
but Bananas?   

Glad things are looking up for you sunshine!

[matti]

Glad to hear you are feeling better. We don't like to see our sunshine sad!

This AN journey can be a tough one at times, and it is comforting to be able to have a place to come where we all understand.

take care!

matti