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Hi,
I have posted here before under pre- treatment. Had a 4.5 cm. tumor, surgeons considered it large. I had my surgery back on November 15. It went well. Still trying to get strong Physically and I think I'm doing better, much better. My problem right now, is getting strong Mentally. I just feel like I'm a total different person. By the way I think. I thought I have depression, so called up my doctor to asked for anti depressant, but the Rx made me soo dizzy, couldn't sleep, no appetite to eat, not into my husband anymore (you know what I mean), in short the side effect made me worse. I feel like crap all the time.... I'm wondering if everyone went through surgery feel this way? I could just be sad one time and then happy and energetic next minute? How long will this last. I feel like sometimes I can't go on anymore.
Please, I need your support every one....... thank you!!!!
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After major surgery most patients experience some level of depression, change in appetite, loss of libido, or sadness. Your tumor was large, a significant surgical event for your body. Your body as well as your mind have to recover strength.
I grieved for lost hearing for several days. I'd had depressions before and knew what to do. I exercised. I watched only happy movies. I listened to upbeat music. I cleaned.
You are right, it's depression...You are not alone! Tell your doctor how you feel and ask for a different antidepression med. There are drugs whose affects are short term and mild enough to allow you to function all day.
Take action, exercise, go out amongst people, use a support group. Loss of hearing and "life the way it was", and the "new normal" are common topics to AN'ers. You are already on the right track by seeking out people to talk with. We are here to listen to you.
Just keep us posted. I'd love to hear from you every day.
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I've read that it takes 1 week to 1 month per hour of surgery to get your energy level back! ..
so if you had a 6+ hour surgery like I did .. It could take 6 months before you feel "right" ..
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Hi there. I went thru exactly what you are right now. It does pass but it took awhile for me. Email if you'd like to talk  My tumor was 4 cm and surgery was 16 hours. The drs told me 1 week for every hour of surgery for the anesthesia to completely exit your system. And it was a good 3 months before I felt better.
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I just want to say thank you for everyone, who have responded to my post. It means soo much to me and very helpful to know that someone else is experiencing or had experienced what I'm going through right now. It's pretty tough for me to go through this change because I didn't expected it. I struggled to get physically strong for 3 months and now, mentally???... But with God's help and every ones support here, I know I can get through this......... Thanks Pembo, Joef, and Boppie.....ÂÂ
Boppie, thanks for all the tips. I think the reason why I got sad or depressed was, for 3 days I isolated myself and just stayed in my room listening to music nothing but sentimental musics, watched sad movies, and thinking too much. Now, I don't listen to sad music, no more dramas (just American Idol ;D...............) and tried not to think too much. I don't want to depend on anti depressant medicines....... I think I should be okay as long as I keep myself happy, exercise, and keep myself busy and mind occupied w/ good and positive things....... What do you guys think? Or should I still call my doctor for another kind of Rx or maybe talk to a counselor? I don't know..... Is it really necessary to take the med and talk to someone if I'm doing okay?ÂÂ
  Just a quick note, My surgery lasted 6 hours. Surgeons were able to completely removed the tumor. I had to go through a "gold-weight inplant." My left face is still paralyzed.( how long that supposed to last????) My left arm is still weak but getting stronger as days pass. So, my biggest concern right now, is getting healthy mentally and my face......
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Mom is 9 months post-op from GK. It's a disaster. She's been hospitalized/institutionalized (nursing home) since September. Mom is on Zoloft. We were told by the hospital shrink that that drug has the least of neurological components to it. She was taking 50mg a day but was recently upped to 75mg. She's also taking Xanax (anti-anxiety drug). Don't really know if that's working because she has vertigo and hydrocephalus from the GK and ANY minute head adjustment and she gets all frantic and wiggy and dizzy even in bed. I've friends who have never had an AN and they seem to swear by Wellbutin. Also, many years ago Mom's general surgeon told her that for each hour that your under (during surgery) it takes a month for your body to eliminate the anesthesia so if you add up ALL these chemicals and not a single one is organic. I'm rambling...Mom also had some facial palsy (L)-same side as the AN but that cleared up within two or three months. I don't know if any of this helps. Best of luck!
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sunshine, I wish I had easy answers for you... and for us all... but there are no easy answers.  You are very fortunate to have the love and support of your husband, family, friends... and us. :) I'm pre-treatment now (been in wait/hold for just under a year) and have also been feeling lost, confused, befuddled, anxious, etc. Like you, I try to be strong but you know what? We are allowed to have our down days. We are allowed to feel overwhelmed at times. We're all going to have our good days and not-so-good days and that's ok. For all you have been through... for all that all of us are going through... no one ever told us how to feel during this time in our lives. Keeping yourself busy helps. Keeping focus on other things other than our AN's (or lack thereof) will certainly help. Just know that we all, at some point or another, feel the exact same way as you. Today was a "not so good" day for me (head wise), so I certainly can understand your feelings.ÂÂ
sunshine, it's ok to feel as you do. You are reaching out to others that truly do understand what you are going through (some better than others but overall, we all do understand) and that, to me, is a key step! We're here for you, we're sending hugs, we're good shoulders if need be (my email box is certainly open to you if you need). We may not be able to be there with you and give you a good hug that you need, but we are truly "there" with you.
Hang tough hon. I know that sounds rather weird to hear on a forum post, but I know you have it in you to hang tough.ÂÂ
Hugs to you,
Phyllis
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Sunshine, you are not alone in feeling this way. I suffered with bouts of depression for several months after my surgery. I went to a therapist and she told me that what I was feeling was normal. There are different areas of emotion that play into depression. Some days I was angry because my energy level was not what it once was or I was frustrated at having lost my hearing during surgery.
I had facial paralysis and kept wondering when that would return. Some days I would think I was depressed, but when I would really pin point it, it was something else. but there were times when I was depressed and I just let myself go with it.
I am living a "new" normal now and like anything new, it does take some time to get used to. What is important is that you give yourself the time. What I can tell you is that I am almost 8 years post op and doing fine. Do I still get a little depressed sometime? sure! We all have good days and bad days for one reason or another.
Sunshine, you will feel better soon and please know that you have a ton of support from your AN buddies.
I am sending you a hug too
Take care,
matti
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Thank you very much Vincent, Phyllis, and Matti for taking time responding to my post. As I said before, it means sooo very much... I'm glad I joined this support group... If you guys wanna know me more I have pictures posted in here..........
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=headernav
Hugs to all of you............Mwah!!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless All of you!
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What everyone said....ditto! My surgery was just over 2 years ago. Although, I did give in to the prescription anti depressants and after trying a few things ended up with lexapro, 20 mg. Seems to make me feel better than I have been although I am now, once again, dealing with the "new normal" and struggling to keep a job I like and is near my home (within 2 miles). The loss of cognitive skills and memory is really getting me. Hang in there and I will try to hang with you! ;)
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I just want to update every one... It's been 4 days since the last time I took the Rx for depression. I'm happy to tell you guys, that I'm doing really good w/ out it. I just exercise, and kept my mind in all positive thoughts and ofcourse trust God.... I get sad or depress esp. in the morning but I fight it. I thought I'd share this with all of you.... and did you guys hear that "bananas" help w/ depression? Not sure, but why not....... ;)
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sunshine, I am soooooooooooo proud of you!!!! See, you can do it! Good days, not so good days, they all come around but sunshine, you are doing fabulous and we're ALL here for you!!!!!!! YAY! :)
Phyllis
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Wonderful work. Keep it up! Please keep in touch and tell us how you are.
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I've heard walking helps depression..
I've heard exercise helps depression....
but Bananas? :o
Glad things are looking up for you sunshine!
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Glad to hear you are feeling better. We don't like to see our sunshine sad!
This AN journey can be a tough one at times, and it is comforting to be able to have a place to come where we all understand.
take care!
matti
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thank you guys, for all the help. I promise that I will be here in good times and in not soo good times. I'll be more than willling to help or answer anyone's question... I know that I still have a long way to go...
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sunshine, we all have a LONG way to go, but know that we all go -- walking arm in arm -- together. :)
Hang tough hun! :)
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Glad to hear that you are doing better. I have fought depression since my orginal tumor was removed in 1990. I was treated for "post traumatic stress disorder" and that greatly helped (I had a lot of pent up anger over being misdiagnosed for so long that it almost killed me) and in the years since there has been times where I have needed antidepressants and times not, dependant on the stress in my life at the time. We all have the potential to develope a chemical depression after brain surgery (the operation, opening the head up, tend to disrupt the brain's chemical and this doesn't alway rebalance and if it does it takes time).....I wish my surgeon had forwarned me of this, I thought I was cracking up! It is great if we are able to deal with the depression without "help" but it also important for everyone to know there are some people who cannot and there is help and needing treatment is not a sign of weakness! Kathleen (not that anyone here has ever implied that or anything).
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Hey Sunshine
Love your name, it's bright like you I'm sure. I'm just 3 months out of surgery too, and I found out a lot of the advice already given about exercise it works. Increase the oxygen flow to your brain so it can get better, and recover.
I might add, Breathing excersises too the list as well as volunteering some of your time to a cause near and dear to you. Mine is with animals and elderly people. I found it hard to feel bluesy when I'm giving to some cause that is meaningful. PLUS and most important.....love and give to yourself, get a massage, write in a journal, spend time doing things YOU love to do, whatever it is.
Heal yourself, love yourself, be good to YOU. Hang in there!!!!!! :-*
Kathleen
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such good advice kathleen! how are you? I remember a lot of crying 3 mos post op major frustrations!
Michelle
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AMEN....................
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Okay Battyprincess and Sunshine,
I must confess there have been times a couple of weeks ago, that I stepped in the poo, and felt a little blue. Instead of running away from these emotions, I decided to find out what exactly they were telling me, and where in my body I felt them. Not easy, but you can learn a lot from this.
My crying was more in the beginning after coming home, week 2 and 3 then the hard work began.
Spending time in nature, even if it's on the patio, or a balconey is really good for you. Make yourself a little sanctuary, create a healing place and surround yourself with things that Lift your spirit up and make you smile. listen to music, sing, dance, hum, draw whatever trips your trigger.
No more sadness ladies, smile even if it's a crooked smile, inwardly and outwardly, honest you'll feel better in no time.
Hang in there, keep on keepin on.
hhhhuuuuugggggs
Kathleen
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and may I add, thinking and getting in touch with our relatives really helps, too....... Oh Yeah, watching American Idol... ha ha ha.... really! I thought I'd give you guys a little laughter ;D ;D ;D ;D
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NO sunshine..relatives are bad (step sibiling syndrome here lol) Idol is good...my step aunt wrote me yesterday to tell me she's in love with ace..cracked me up. She's been on her own for a long time and to have her write about a hottie tottie def. made me smile. She's the only relative I'll talk to right now.
Radiant Star..wanna join our cruise? it's a make believe one right now unless we can get oprah to pay for it lol
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Hey yeah sounds like a winner to me!!!! I'm on board, where are we going to go???!!!! Let's sail soon, I could use a cruise to anywhere with white sandy beaches, tall fruity drinks, smell the coconut oil tanning lotion???? Let's rock!!!
All aboard
Kathleen
have you seen my big sun umbrella anywhere? LOL
who needs Oprah, with our imagination 8)
p.s. the only relative I'd take on this cruise would be my sweetie hubby, he's awesome.
sibling grrrrrrrrrr, ;D ::) ;D ;D ;D
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Our Cruise ship captain is deb she had listed some awesome ports that all had AN in them but I can't remember. I just remember they were tropical...
We're allowing husbands to come but if you want a massage from the resident greek god which we've cast as yanni then you have to get behind us single gals lol
we've got the cuisine of course they all have AN in them.
We only needed oprah to pay for the actual excursion lol
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sunshine, I've been quiet this past weekend as I've been with my thoughts prepping for tomorrow's CK consult. But know this... you (and everyone here) have been on my mind all weekend! sending you huggles to help the cause and hope you are doing ok! ;)
As for the cruise... no one is sailing out without me! I got the belly flop contests all planned for poolside!
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I'll go on the cruise as Splay Foot Dancercise instructor. Can't you see it? This is eighth grade stuff kids, you can do it!
;D
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LOL! :)
Hey sunshine! Here's your daily hug!!!!!
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Phyl
I'll go on the cruise as Splay Foot Dancercise instructor. Can't you see it?  This is eighth grade stuff kids, you can do it!
;D
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Welcome Aboard Boppie and RadiantStar. Sunshine you're coming along too!ÂÂ
Guess this means we're going to have to hire more hot Greek Gods.
I have decided not to take my hubby on the cruise, because someone here needs to keep an eye on Battyprincess. ;)
Ok Boppie, you are in charge of dANce lessons
matti
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 This is the reason, why I love going on this site every day. Not just for advices but also for laughter.ÂÂ
  I have never been on a cruise, so this is my first time, Guys, you gotta watch me, I was crazy then, more crazy now :D :D :D
good job Matti, you'll be our Nanny!!!
 here's a BIGGER HUG to you Phyl..........ÂÂ
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Matti think you can keep up with me? lol
I'm sending my kid to matti's so her hubby can babysit (he's 15 just make sure he stays sober and a virgin lol)
We're gonna have so much fun on our cruise...I'm thinking we need more greek gods? ;)
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Sunshine-
We will dANce the tANgo on ANguilla, ANtigua and ANegada.
What we need is a great boat name! I find humor and dark chocolate to be effective depression chaser-awayers!
AAARRRRRRRR!
Captain Deb
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If anyone sees the Rock, send him my way.....you all can have the Greek Gods.....
It's gettin' hot in here :P :P :P :P :P
Now where's my Calgon????
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matti and batty... you both are scaring me now! ;) :-*
Radiant, no calgon needed.... calgon fantasies are great... but...ÂÂ
*Starts to sing Styx*
Come sail away
   Come sail away
Come and sail away with me....
sunshine, damn loverly hugs you give! thank you darlin'! :)
Cap'n Deb, have you chartered our course yet? :D
Ok, Yanni was busted last week for ... domestic abuse? :o NO, say it isn't so!? Please?! :-[
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Capt. Deb - that was our first order of business ..naming our ship. It has been christened "The battyPrincess".
Battyprincess - I can keep up with the best of em. I may be nearing menopause, but this girl's still got it :o
Sunshine - welcome aboard! A virgin cruiser! (sounds like a drink) Hey, wasn't Static our bartender??
radiantstar - Yes! the Rock is very, very nice. :-*
Phyl - Please say it isn't so...
matti
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I do believe static was our bartender ;D
Hey the rock could work for me...you know I've been reading stephanie plum novels by janet evanovich..I'm thinking ranger and morelli would work too. They are hotties in the book...who else shall we bring?
If yanni goes will have to bring handcuffs just in case he gets out of line ;) :-*
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Handcuffs ::) ::) ::)? Well if you're bringing handcuffs, I'm gonna' bring my leather boustier and whip ;) so Yanni better behave!
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Boustier is that how you spell it? That thingy that ya' know lifts and separates........ROFLOL
You all are a boost to the spirit.
Sail On ladies.
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Sorry guys, I have to cut off the discussion about the cruise for a moment. I think I have posted it here about how eating Bananas help fight depression. Here's a short note about it:
Bananas: did you know?
After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again!
Bananas Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout.  No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana.  This is because bananas contain trypt ophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
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Sunshine - I never knew that bananas contained tryptophan. I know turkey did and some other foods. Wow! I was always eating bananas just for the potassium, to help lower my blood pressure. Thanks for the tip! and dipped in chocolate...all the better!
RadiantStar - A boustier (sp?) that is what I need. At my last mammogram, the tech asked if there were any changes and I said, "yes! I am a 34 long!"
battyprincess - Handcuffs? Yanni is out! Matthew is in. You probably should still bring the cuffs ;)
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I"m thinking cuffs for sure either way....and banana's and white chocolate to help make sure I don't find myself depressed :o) I've had to avoid bananas from the diabetes..so need to make up for lost time.
hell whips, chains, bustier's, let's bring it all! Bongos too just for matthew lol
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shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
I got me purple fuzzy cuffs, a few boustiers/corsets and yes, blindfold as well....
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
oh, btw...
HEY SUNSHINE, HERE'S YOUR DAILY HUG!
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Phyl
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Sunshine, I have a sure fire way to help the depression/bananna fix. Chunky Monkey icecream is made by Ben & Jerry's you gotta' try it. It will cure ANY and ALL sadness, lethargy, cranky, crochety feelings, hormonal imbalances, you might ever encounter.... unfortunately it isn't sugar free. :-[
Matti, my last mammogram just showed "pancake" dough, I envy you ;)
ppearl, you naughty, naughty girl......ooooooooooh behave
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radiant, yep, you as bad as me... chunky monkey! OMG! One of my faves.. and my hips love it too! ;D
batti-wench, it scares me that you have the same naughty thoughts as me... go girl! :)
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only my handcuffs are red fur lined lol
Ben and Jerry's got me through my husbands illness! It also upped my pants by two sizes lol Banana and chocolate HAS to be the best cure for depression...Sunshine says bananas are and we all agree chocolate is so the hell with the prozac, zoloft and effexor we'll daily dose on chunky monkey and all be fine ;)
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Sunshine-
The AN archive has a lot of stuff on cognitive and emotional issues following AN surgery--we all went thru this. Suggest you do some research on your feelings, which are pretty common. When we lose that balance system it throws us for such a loop! We go to sleep and wake up in someone else's body. Mine was that of an 80 year old woman! We go through and actual grief process--denial, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance.
I'm still on an anti-depressant--been on and off 'em for abot 2 1/2 years. I find they really help. I find I can do without them in the summer, but I really get the winter blues.
I's really important to rely on your support system both physical and cyber!
Captain Deb 8)
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thank you Capt. Deb. So far, doing good w/ out the anti depressant. I just hope I won't need it anymore. If I do think I l need it, I might need to try something else.
Hey Guys, I have a question, when Did you guys first travel? I need to visit relatives in California. And it's much easier if I fly instead of driving. But I'm afraid I might not be able to stand being on a plane for an hour? Not mentioning the wait in the airport? lots of people? Noises? ):
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HI Sunshine! Hope you are better. Anyway days comes & goes. Everyday you feel better but sometimes comes days that you just get fed up with everything. Sometimes everybody feels to be too caring for you and sometimes you might feel that enough. Something you need somebody to talk but it seems that nobody cares about you. But who cares we survive. Try some pilates, I found that it calms me down and makes me relax.
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I hear you, Katja............................................... One thing that keeping me strong right now is God. He is my comforter......... I'm not sure of everyone's religion/belief/faith here but Prayers and only prayers kept me going from the hospital till here @ home.
Ofcourse I'm grateful to my husband, family, friends, and everyone here.
Pilates? Really? I'll go get myself a video of it. thanks Katja. But for now, I'll do my walking exercise ;)
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*sneaks in, walks up behind sunshine, puts arms around her*
here's your daily huggle hun, but since I've been gone a couple of days, let's make it a massive bear hug!
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*sneaks back out*
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Thank you, Phyl..... you're silly! It's too cold here in Vegas... My AN side starts to hurt a little. Went for a walk, and I guess my skull didn't like tha freezing temp. (Well, in the 40's is already freezing for me, by the way)
Maybe I'll cover it next time I go for a walk  :-\
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Sunshine - I visited Vegas for the first time last September. It was very hot outside, so out of necessity I had to stay inside and was forced to play video poker for hours at a time. ;) I am awed by the Bellagio. I was thinking that I wanted to renew my wedding vows this year (our 25th) in September at the Elvis Chapel, but if it is that hot again.... When my oldest son turned 21, my husband took him to Vegas, They had a blast! My youngest will be turning 21 next year in March and we will repeat the tradition. When is the best time to come to Vegas? good weather and not so crowded.
I also find that my AN side is so much more sensitive in the cold.
Have a great day!
matti
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Hi Matti,
April or May, I think is the best time, not too hot, not too cold, and most esp. not too crowded.
If that is too early, around October or November should be good, too.
I only been living here in Vegas for 1 1/2 years, so I don't have much ideas.....
I got married Aug. 2005 here in Vegas... a little Chapel wedding. I want to renew my wedding already........ ;)
But anyways, here is the website you can check, hope it helps...
http://www.lasvegasadvisor.com/
http://www.visitlasvegas.com/vegas/index.jsp
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Sunshine,
I flew to Florida in February. It was the first time I traveled all by myself. (Did meet my parents and sister down there though.) I didn't notice any particular problems. I could hear them announce the loading of my plane. Flying was no problem. I did chew gum during take-off. I also noticed that drinking water on the plane was helpful. If you like to talk to people on the plane think about sitting in a seat with your bad ear facing the window.
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thank you so much Jeanlea, this helps a lot.....
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Vegas!?!?!? NOW you tell me! I need a trip out there (in warmer weather, of course)
*runs up to sunshine, grabs around body*
HUG TIME!
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*scoots back out!*
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sunshine, where art thou? :-*
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