Hello - this is my first post - my AN showed up on a contrast MRI two weeks ago, so I'm still in my first month of knowing I have a 15mm vestibular schwannoma. While the gut reaction of panic on the day of finding out "you've got a brain tumor" was there, it passed and since then I've been weirdly fascinated reading research on them and feeling like pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. But that's why I wanted to ask about something I really can't find reading about - has anyone else reflected on their experience and realized some personal/creative expression was the brain subconsciously a "surrogate" for the AN/VS?
For myself, it sort of clicked today as I was reading about the vestibular recalibration that happens every morning - I don't think prior to reading about that I thought about how the cognitive dissonance of differing equilibrium signals from left and right vestibular systems plays havoc with the brain 24/7, much less that it's even worse in sleep without the visual information coming in from the eyes to help the brain realize one system is inherently "wrong" (at least for me - I'm unilateral - my VS is on the right side). And in reading about how to expedite the recalibraion process, a recomendation sugested avoiding screens, since videos or photos on screens - or even app windows - have a simulated virtual dimensionality and that can complicate your brain's ability to tell you that you are on level ground/to rely on your good vestibular system. But I know that psychologically and biologically, the brain doesn't like being "wrong" - it's a survival tactic because its perception of what's right is networked into your schema of the world around you based on your life experience.  It wants to know its experiences are right so many conscious decisions are influenced by the brain subconsciously seeking to confirm some sort of truth or belief.  So this led to the realization that for myself at least, I think I've been making conscious decisions that have been satisfying both vestibular signals for years without even knowing it.
Outside of my job, I document live performances of underground bands in the Louisville music scene. I document hundreds per year and add them into a public, online archive - I've documented almost 200 artists since Jan. 1 alone.  I get more satisfaction documenting  that I do just experiencing music, and this is something I only stumbled into doing about 8 years ago, though arguably in the last 2-3 years it's felt more "addictive."   I don't film the way most do - and by that I mean I don't care for filming where I keep the camera level/parallel to the stage and the performers.  Instead, I'm known for POV documenting where the camera is drifting, swooping, swirling all over the place, based upon the tempo of the music - different genres lead to different kinetic movement. Frenetic but never frenzied. When I've had people ask me about why I film that way, sometimes joking that it makes them motion sick - I've always explained that when I film I'll have a moment at the start of a set where I close my eyes and I get the sensation of the music being like waves on the ocean and I then open my eyes and move the camera to that sensation, imagining it's a surfer on those waves, watching the POV of the camera as I do. But my "aha" moment today was realizing that it's quite probable that my brain developed a creative solution to the distress it's always dealing with - and it seemingly came off as creative intuition.  For in those moments, my eyes recognize two "truths" that could correspond with the two truths of the vestibular system.  My left tells my brain I am standing on level ground, and my eyes confirm this, while my right tells my brain I'm spinning from the vertigo/dizziness that the acoustic neuroma makes under normal conditions and is exacerbated by loud sound waves still pushing through my earplugs, and my eyes confirm that as well by looking at the viewscreen as the camera spins and twists to the music. So perhaps the weird calm and high of documenting live music in that fashion comes from my brain getting the relief of not having to deal with the "wrong" information from my right vestibular system.   Essentially my camera becomes a surrogate for the distorted perspective my affected vestibular system is producing, that I'm building a visual reconciliation of a dual-input reality - a period of sensory harmony.  The thought that I've been unwittingly orchestrating visual feedback to mirror an internal mismatch to provide my brain with a coherent experience - and that it leads to a dopamine/endorphin release as a result - seemed wild to consider, but the more I though about it, the more it makes sense.  And going back and watching videos I've shot with that lens in mind, that I'm essentially watching POV of how the AN is making my brain think the world is moving, and noticing how much wilder that movement/camerawork has been gradually getting over the eight years I've been doing this...it kinda all makes sense. 

So I didn't know if someone had a similar sort of realization - that some creative outlet or hobby you started persuing turned out to be the brain trying to compensate for weird AN signals for the better and you just weren't aware of it for a long time...

Today was a Pre-op appointment day.   Blood work, EKG, vitals, basically making sure I am healthy enough for surgery.   It took longer than I thought it would.  But everything was good.  Basically half a day spent there.   It's getting more real every day, only 2 weeks away now. 

Everyone deserves the right to choose how they handle their pain, whether that's through CBD or more conventional medicines. Pain management is such a personal experience, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. I've spent quite a bit of time browsing Canadian Pharmacy Partner , learning about various options, and for myself, I usually lean toward traditional medications — they simply feel more familiar and reliable to me. That said, I fully support the idea that people should have the freedom to decide what’s best for their own health. No one should be forced into a treatment path they’re not comfortable with. Health is deeply personal, and respecting each person's choice is truly what matters most.

I had hemifacial spasms which started 6 months post GK. The AN goes through several phases after GK including swelling and could be touching other facial nerves, etc. Write down all your symptoms and the frequencies and discuss with your Dr. I have been prescribed steroid for short term but felt worst rather than better. My facial spasms went away after 9 months and no other symptoms. But my hearing is gone on the AN side prior to GK so nothing to lose anymore.

You also can email the doctor you saw originally and update him or her on any new or worsening symptoms. Plans are not written in stone. I am currently on watch and wait and may seek an additional opinion but the doctor I saw was very specific about "email me if you have new symptoms or worsening symptoms."