Hey Angie...
I was reading another post here not too long ago about pictures and it seems we all have the same idea that photos are a no-no since they really do seem to make things look sooo much worse than i think they really are (lots of great explains were shared for this).
Ironically, i have a picture of my self (shoulders up) on my work pass that i generally wear around my neck at work (government building, so some security doors to beep through). I got the pass when i returned to work in Sept of this year. At the time i had mean double vision and was wearing an eye patch (which i removed for the picture). I am now 10.5months post op and my face is much better (but still a long way to go). I keep thinking i should go get a better photo (without the droop), and then i think... but hopefully i will a little better a month from now, so i will wait. In the meantime, i just turn the pass over so the photo is not facing out... as it's pretty bad. But sometimes i look at it and think of how far i have come.
I hate to see you beat yourself up about this... you really are doing your best and we all know it isn't easy. But it is getting easier right? We have a digital camera (doesn't everyone?) and i too generally avoid photos, although i do pictures of my face every month or so, just so i can have a sense of progress, and see whether my eye is closing - NOT. The great thing about digital is the delete button! --which i rarely do, but let's face it, i don't print out the ones that i don't like (there are some pictures of me here and there that my hubbie took before i could notice or protest. I always find myself zooming to see how i look. When we do slide shows of pics (after a day at the zoo say), there are only a few with me in... and i ususally say "poor mommy" when i see them. Then we move on to the next picture and that's that.
Photos really don't do justice to the journey that you have been on, and what you have been through to get to that moment in time. And hopefully with each day, and one day, you will find peace with wherever you have landed. I know that having little ones really helps to keep things in perspective and your story is just another example of that. So maybe the key is more photos (then you delete the worst ones, and keep a few that are not so bad (go easy!) I am sure you and your boys will enjoy them down the road, which is the whole idea).
You can't change the decisions you made (to avoid photos) over the past 2 years or so, but you can go easy on yourself because of why you did and learn from your feelings now (maybe it's ok to have a few) to lower your regrets later.
You look great!
Trish
