Wish I could give you a hug Carrie. Seek them out if you can, and if you are a "hugger". I have gotten to the point where I don't talk much about my AN to friends who just don't "get it". Most of these people just try to downplay it in my case, and that is the worst thing ever. For instance, when I complain about my tinnitus bothering me, someone will say, "I have it too." Or, when my ear got really plugged up yesterday, one of my friends said, "Oh, that happens to me all of the time." The thing is is that a lot of people have tinnitus and have their ears get clogged up, but they don't have a brain tumor. Plus, most people don't know what these ANs are, and they have no clue how to react. Some of my friends and my husband have been interested enough to read about ANs, and they are the most sensitive and caring supporters of all. This AN board is helpful also. However, I hate to say it, some have it worse than others. But, a lot of people here have very positive stories, and I try to focus on those more.
I am a caretaker also. I have bipolar disorder, and it has been under control for a long time. Just thinking back on those days when I was having lots of trouble with my bipolar, I can see how I drained the folks around me. My husband thought he could "fix" me, and maybe that is what you are trying to do with your mom and brother. If you have other siblings or friends who can help out with your mom and brother, then you might have to ask them for help. It is hard to ask for help when you are a caretaker, but in this case, you need to take care of yourself first. Easy for me to say because I am not in your shoes. As for your husband vacuuming . . . GREAT! But, I bet you would rather have dirty floors sometimes rather than listening to that noise. I have had to tell my husband to quit practicing his trombone sometimes, and he usually complies. But, when he is practicing for a concert, then I know he needs to practice so I will go for a walk or go over to a friend's house.
I didn't mean to scare you with the water in your ears. I think most doctors offices are using the newer equipment with the air in the ear. I have always had bad motion sickness, and the audiologist said that is probably what caused my dizziness. She said it wasn't related to my AN. You will do fine. The first balance test I had in 2005 was my ENTs idea. I asked for the second test. So, it wasn't so bad that I wanted to avoid it, if that makes you feel better.
I volunteer on the oncology unit at The Children's Hospital, and when I see the kids with the malignant brain tumors, I feel guilty when I think about mine--since it is benign. But, you know what, this AN is an important part of my life right now. So don't downplay it. I think because there are so many bad things going on in our world, we don't give ourselves permission to feel scared and worried about our own stuff. My son is off to Iraq in Nov., and it definitely has taken the importance off of my AN, but at the same time I have a right to be worried about my AN . . . but in a different way (and that doesn't make me an insensitive person). If you feel like you need to PM me, please feel free. I rant and rave for the most part on this board, but I can listen. I PM a lot of people here on a regular basis, and it has been extremely helpful. Take care. Thinking of you.
Nancy
