Thank you all so much for your support. I go to see the radiotherapist at the beginning of April, just to find out some more information about the procedures. I'm still reluctant to do anything and risk causing any additional symptoms. I'm happy (well as happy as you can be) with my current symptons (loss of hearing in left ear and tinitus) but dont let it affect my life and feel that opting for an operation is likely to give me more symptoms which are less easy to cope with.
My one big concern about leaving it to wait and see is I am only 27 (I dont feel old, but my neice thinks is extremely old... but then again she thinks 14 is really old and that is when she will get married!) is that it grows and it causes me more problems because it is bigger when I do have to have treatment. In a lot of ways I wish it was clear cut and the consultant could tell me what I need done but then again at least I do have options and to some extent feel in control.
As with you Kathleen my original "gut feel" was get this thing out of me, but having done more research, and I guess come to accept my AN, that scares me more. The thought of being away from work and loosing some of my independence for months just does not bear thinking about.
Radio treatment also concerns me due to the lack of knowledge of long term effects. At least my local hospital uses your teeth and gum shield to fit the frame rather than screwing holes in my head. Will it cause a malignant tumour in future for example. What questions should I ask the radio therapist? Will it cause lots of hair loss or just the bit where the rays go in?
Also if you wait and see then treatments might have further advanced by the time I actually "need" to do something, which cause less side effects and would be better. Then again, I wait for a while, and then I have children and its not just me that I have to think about and there are a whole load of other issues I dont have at the moment!
My gut is telling me wait and see for a bit longer but does that mean I am just putting off the inevitable for a bit longer. I dont normally shy away from decisions but this is no doubt the largest decision I have ever made.
Hey ho, at least I have the wonderfull support of my boyfriend and family that I can talk through my concerns with. However none of them can tell me what they think I should do. I know its my decision and I have to be comfortable with what I decide but its a hell of a decision to make with potentially life changing consequences what ever I decide.
Does any one have a crystal ball so that I can see what would happen with each of the options? Wouldn't that just be great!!!!