Author Topic: Grape or Strawberry Jam?  (Read 3592 times)


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Grape or Strawberry Jam?
« on: February 18, 2009, 10:27:48 am »
I know you are thinking "what in the world". Well as most of you know I am 38 and have facial paralysis and have been dealing with that for the last 19 months and now this weekend (Valentine's Day) suffered a miscarriage. As you can imagine my hormones are all over the place and my emotions are running wild. I just had to stop my world from turning today to post this because I am actually even able to laugh at myself and know that I do need something to level me out. But nonetheless can be quite funny. I do know the importance of us recognizing when we need extra help with antidepressants and I'm calling today for mine.
One minute I'm sitting comfortably watching tv.........then next minute I'm "WAAAAAAAAAAA". Someone can tell a funny joke and I'll be laughing and crying at the same time-WAAAAAAAAAAAAA, HEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHA. Husband can ask me what I want on my toast......WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Hunter's response "I only asked GRAPE or STRAWBERRY JAM" and then we will both laugh so hard because it is just so crazy. I can laugh at myself and I always tell people to just ignore me right now. My little boy last night said Mommy why are you crying...only babies cry. Even they must think I'm crazy. I have taken Lexapro in the past. What antidepressant has helped any of you guys? As I sit here and type I giggle at myself but with tears streaming down my face. Depression is hard to explain. At least I recognize that I am suffering from depression and will do what it takes to get past it so that I can be a joy to be around again.
Just really want to say Thanks to my Forum Family for all of your support and I'm so thankful that I have a place to come where you guys understand what I'm going through and remind me that.....No Angie, you are not crazy. (well maybe alittle)....although you are all to sweet to say that)

Cheryl R

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Re: Grape or Strawberry Jam?
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2009, 11:00:40 am »
Angie,    I think the hormones are a big part of it right now and hope that improves soon!   Husbands  can understand that part but little guys won't!     LOL!                 Depression is frustrating.      I tried Prozac and that made me jittery.     Celexa gave me some GI problems but helped other wise.         I am on Effexor XR now and has helped some.        Good luck in finding the right one as it can vary with each person.    Meds usually never bother me so was surprised when had some issues with this type med.
        I wish you well!                       Cheryl R
Right mid fossa 11-01-01
  left tumor found 5-03,so have NF2
  trans lab for right facial nerve tumor
  with nerve graft 3-23-06
   CSF leak revision surgery 4-07-06
   left mid fossa 4-17-08
   near deaf on left before surgery
   with hearing much improved .
    Univ of Iowa for all care


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Re: Grape or Strawberry Jam?
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2009, 12:53:48 pm »
Wellbutrin seems to do well for women and does not have the weight gain, diminished libido or sleep disturbance side effects of many SSRIs.

MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
 46 - 11/25/08
 53 - 05/12/09
left side SSD approx. 4 weeks
 low-frequency hearing loss; 85% speech recognition 7/28/08
1.8 gram thin profile platinum eyelid weight 8/12/08
Fitted for scleral lens 5/9/13


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Re: Grape or Strawberry Jam?
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2009, 01:23:08 pm »
Yeah, Angie, you are on a roller coaster now.  And you want to yell, "Stop the world, I want to get off!"   Women pay a heavy price for being able to bring life into the world, and raging hormones is one of them.  I'm sure you will find something that will even things out for you and bring you gently back down to level ground.  My only other thought is that maybe you need a spa day, or a quiet weekend away with your hubby if that's possible.  Not that that will solve your unchecked hormone levels, but it might contribute to achieving some evenness in your life right now.  Also, consider some meditation/prayer time.  In one of the newspaper's comics that we have, Rose is Rose, she goes out to her "let it be tree" and leans on it when she is stressed.  Maybe you need a tree!  And meds! 

Hang in there, kiddo.  Things will be better soon. 


PS   I had my first child without any difficulty whatsoever, and then I had two miscarriages very early on and there actually was no fetus, so something went wrong right away.  I've heard that this happens more often than people think because it's so early that the woman doesn't really realize she was even pregnant and just has a heavy period.  The last one was harder on me because I was a little further along and I did have a viable fetus, but I also had fibroid tumors as I found out, and that was not a good combination to have a successful pregnancy. I lost the baby the weekend after I found out I was pregnant.   Soon after, I had my hysterectomy, and that was the end of that.  I never dreamed I'd have that much trouble since the first one was uneventful and resulted in a healthy baby.  The irony to all of this is that one of my hobbies is genealogy, and my divorced 36 year old son has no children, no girlfriend, nothing very promising on the horizon, and I am seeing my little twig on the family tree withering slowly in the breeze, and I fear that I will have no descendants.  It just saddens me greatly and I would so love to be a grandmother.  Yeah, it could still happen, but I didn't think I'd be clear up in my middle 60's  or later before a grandchild would come into my life.  Well, as we all know, things happen to us that we hadn't counted on, or anticipated.  AN's being only one of many unexpected and disappointing bumps in the road.   ???
Sue in Vancouver, USA
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Diagnosed 3/13/06 GK 4-18-06
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The only good tumor be a dead tumor. Which it's becoming. Necrosis!
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