should i worry...

[DeniseSmith]

Hi, I recently had a  cold and on my left side (AN side) my nose ran all the time, I looked like a two year old!

I think my face is alot dryer on that side, I just use lots of moisturizer. I also took a non-drowsy cold tablet, that really helps with the runny nose. Also, my mouth is always dry.  I drink lots of water, since my the left side of my tongue does not salivate.  I feel like I have cotton mouth all the time. I have drank more water in the last 10 months, than I probably have in my entire lifetime.  

I still have no function in my face, which pisses me off. But, I am coming to terms with the fact this might be it.   My facial nerve was severed during surgery.  All I really want is to be able to smile again.  I hate that I look sad all the time.  I am not a sad person!!  I love to laugh and smile and I used to have a great smile.  

Denise

[minnkris]

Wind,
My left eye and left side of my tongue have been dry since my an symptoms started (my husband told me I started snoring also). I had GK in August. But in the last couple of months, I've actually been waking up with moisture in my left eye!! And I don't feel anywhere near as thirsty as I used to. Could things be getting better? There is so much I don't understand. I too have an ugly cold right now and my nose is running freely on both sides. My husband says I'm still snoring (whatever - he snored since the day I met him!).
Anyway, just a little in-put for you.
I go to see the oncologist on Monday and I believe she will schedule an MRI. I'm really hopeful that the GK worked and that's why I'm not as dry as I was.

[wind6]

Great news minnkris...it sounds like things are returning to normal for you. I am really hoping that my nose running is a good sign for me too. Who would have ever thought that a runny nose could give pleasure???

Denise, Have your doctors said anything about possible help for the severed nerve? I know that makes you so sad to lose your smile. I feel the same way. For my whole life most of the compliments I received was "what a pretty smile you have" or "what beautiful eyes"...I felt like I lost the external characteristics that made me attractive. What a blow to my self esteem. I feel so very fortunate to have facial function returning.

Princess, I hope my left eye will cry soon. I know that sounds strange but, before my surgery I didn't cry because I was so involved with trying to make sure my daughters, grand babies, and mother didn't worry or see me as scared. Now I wish I could let the tears go but, my eye hurts so bad I don't dare allow myself the luxury of crying. That is so hard for someone as sensitive as me. I am one of those that cries when I see even a stranger cry! Oh well...maybe soon.

Thank you all again for your feedback.

[DeniseSmith]

Wind,
My doctor says it could take 12-18 months before anything happens, but no guarantees.

I had no idea about the complications from surgery.  I only had 34 days from the my MRI to my surgery.  Then during surgery the surgeon told my family "the Denise you saw go into surgery is not going to be the same Denise coming out".  Talk about freaking everyone out!!!

I guess i will just have to wait and see what happens, then see what my options are down the line.  I don't know if I am brave enough to go through plastic surgery.  All the horror stories!!  Also, I don't want to look like "The Joker" just so I can smile again. 

Denise

[Battyp]

denise it sounds like you had the fast track to surgery too...I wasn't prepared for what to expect until after it was all said and done.  The surgeon just seems like ho hum when I ask about things like it will get better just be patient...well patience has never been my middle name or in my vocabulary  lol
When the surgeon mentioned nerve grafts to fix the numbness I just laughed.  I can't see myself willingly going through what I consider the same surgery again..>NO THANKS  I think once in a lifetime is enough for me I dont' know where some of you get the strength to do it twice (I'm sure if I was faced with a life or death scenario I'd pick life but I wouldn't be happy about it  lol)

wind6:  I wish I could stop getting so emotional!   I too cry when someone else cries.  but lately I cry just watching tv.  Maybe it's from all the pent up emotions from before surgery..I never cried after diagnosis just pushed up my sleeves to do what needed to be done to make sure things were ok for my son.  Delayed reaction maybe?   

[DeniseSmith]

Princess,
I know what you mean, about being emotional. Only I am not crying.    I get so freaking pissed off at my inability to do things or look like I used to.   Sometimes, it all seems so surreal, and I will wake up and it will all have been a horrible nightmare. But I know that will never happen!!  I am pissed, at myself for not going to the dr. sooner, when I realized I was having hearing loss and headaches, I am pissed because my dr. made it sound like I would be okay and the same after my surgery.  I am pissed that facial paralysis was not even discussed at any of my appts. with the nuerologist/brain surgeon.  I am pissed that I don't look like I used too.  I am pissed because, I can't ride my motorcycle in the spring/summer anymore.  I am pissed because my energy level has not returned.   I am pissed from feeling self-conscious. 

Thanks, I needed to vent.

Denise

Denise

[Static]

As I read the posts and see what we all have in common, and how many of us there are out there, why can't we get more professional emotional help.  Why is all of this such a flippin mystery.  I have also experienced all of the same emotions as many have listed here, but I can't cry  out of my right eye, and it's been 2 years.  Sometimes it all builds up at the wrong times and I get so emotional over something I shouldn't, andother times I just get mad and then there's the times I just want to scream.  My inability to type well on my daughter's laptop  at this particular time is pissing me off right now too!   

[Battyp]

I think I spent two months so pissed I felt like my head was spinning.  I'm trying to put things in perspective.  I had to have a 4 hour test done at a lab yesterday and got to see a variety of people come through the door.  There were quite a bit worse off than me.  It's just so hard sometimes.  I need deseparetly to get some new work clothes but find shopping to be such a taxing chore.  I didn't much care for it before surgery and now I absolutely hate it.  It's too hard to focus on stuff and turn my head so fast while walking.  Hoping the clothes fairy will visit while I nap....think it will happen?   

[wind6]

Gosh.....we all sound so much alike its scary. I get sooooooo frustrated just trying to complete ordinary tasks like re-arranging my refrigerator!! I feel half blind and clumsy as a two year old. Shopping is finally getting a little bit easier but still wears me out. I started dating a man just before Christmas and I can see already that my disabilities are going to get in the way. I don't take the blame for this tho...he is a Corrections Officer and is very controlling and unsympathetic. He actually had the nerve to sit me down and tell me that everything I have a hard time doing isn't about my surgery!!! How would he know......he didn't know me before!!! Okay...I didn't mean to get off topic so bad but I guess I just let a little of my anger and frustration show huh...oooops Somehow I think I should wait a bit longer to try and add a personal relationship to my already stressed out life. I will shut up now and listen for a while...thank you all for just listening and understanding how difficult this is at times.                Loves 2 U all, Sherry

[Battyp]

Sherry as much as I'd love to have a man in my life I'd run from the hills from that one.  I did controlling and frankly we need kind loving understanding honely let me help you with that right now!  It's def. the not being able to do what I used to that gets me down and realizing that if I had to work full time right now, keep up with my house/yard, and manange my kid I'd be a baketcase zombie running around.  I can barely keep up with laundry, remembering to throw food at the kid once day and the ten hours I'm working which the doctor advised against but keeping the health insurance one out on.  CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

[Larry]

Sherry,

This guy sounds like a creep actually. We are not all like him but I must say (in no defence) that guys are not usually very sympathetic creatures. We don't have the same emotional levels as women. However, we can understand issues better when "it happens to us" - sad but true. For example, Around 25 years ago, I put my back out. I went to the GP (man) who wasn't really interested - take two asprin every 4 hours was his remedy. I actually had a very tight verterbrae which caused muscle spasms. The cure (as I later found out) was to get some physio to loosen the muscles. A few years later, another GP I'd seen at the same centre told me that this other GP had put his back ouit and was now very good with patients who did the same - interesting.

Anyway, more specifically maybe you should come straight out with your issues right at the start before you go out on a date. The initial body language of the guy or the tone in his voice will tell you whether he is worthy of your company or not.

good luck

Larry

[DeniseSmith]

Right on LARRY!!!


I consider myself very very lucky to still be with my boyfriend, from pre-op.  He actually has been great.  I think sometimes he could be more understanding of my frustrations.  But, he still doesn't quite get it.  He can still piss me off and be annoying.  He does try to help me.  But I also know I send him  mixed signals.  Like don't help me I need to do it on my own, then why the hell aren't you helping me?  I can't believe he is still around.  I am very happy he is but not sure I would have stuck around.  Anyway, I now sound like a total jerk. But, I don't handle stress very well.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent.  You know I never found this website before my surgery.  I only discovered it after I had returned to work, but, I  feel better knowing that its not just me.   

Thanks, Denise

[wind6]

Denise, you are so right about finding a level of comfort in knowing what you are going through is not abnormal. I always find people here that understand what I am going through.
Larry thank you for the info from a mans point of view. I think what made this hard is that in the beginning this guy was wonderful to me. He told me my little crooked smile was charming...oh how that one struck a needy nerve in me. I now feel like he knew exactly what to say to get to me and I fell for it... Now after a couple of months dating he doesnt want to hear about my surgery or related after-effects, he doesnt want me to talk about my children, and he doesnt want to hear about my classes!!! I am asking myself...what is it I am allowed to discuss with this guy!! Anyway you all can stop worrying...I have removed him from my life now. I do so much better feeling bad alone..
Hope you all are doing okay. Good to hear from you all.           Muaaahhh, Sherry

[Battyp]

Sherry, I know tough to be alone as I am now and probably will be forever at the rate I'm going.  But I'd rather be alone than with someone who wants to control me or deny my son.  Trust me after 10 years of dating I've seen quite a bit  lol.  Hang tough!

We def. need a big singles girls night out!

[wind6]

Hi all, Well Phyl I decided to do the girls night out but, it has turned into a girls week out... I am going to Florida next month after school is out and I am going with 5 other women friends!!! I am so excited. I worry a lil bit that I find the most peace in my world when I am alone but this is much better than the stress of trying to figure our a relationship...at least for now.
You all are so affirming for me. I am really grateful that I can bring my issues here and find the support that is hard to come by in my daily life. Thanks everyone.         LUvs, Sherry