Hi, Michelle:
It would be redundant of me to state that you'll need patience, most of all. However, in conjunction with that patience, you'll need the understanding that - as
Jan so cogently stated - your husband has just been through major surgery and might now have to deal with deficits he did not have before the operation, which will often generate some level of frustration on his part that may be taken out on you, his spouse, who is only trying to help That kind of dichotomy can strain a relationship but again, the 'P-word' combined with some understanding of Ken's position will smooth the process, which will eventually resolve as he heals and adapts to whatever he must. I speak from experience (as a post-op AN patient).
Due to his inevitable post-op fatigue, you may have to do some necessary, mundane things that he used to do...but don't try to 'baby' him. In some cases, he may try to do too much and then practically collapse from the fatigue that will follow any over-exertion. He'll soon learn to 'listen to his body' and pace himself, as most post-op AN patients do. Nagging him to 'take it easy' will likely be met with assurances of
"I'm fine!" and only motivate him to 'prove' to you that he is just as good as before his surgery. That can lead to set-backs.
In other words, along with being beatifically patient, do try to help Ken - but
don't try to 'manage' him...and remember that 'this too, shall pass'.
Jim
