An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the forum,
Not a creature was stirring, there was perfect decorum,
The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While sounds of tinnitus hummed in their heads;
When out on the website there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to Windows© I flew in a blink,
Tore open the browser and threw up the link.
The LCD monitor put out such a glow,
The luster of mid-day lit the postings below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature gurney, heaped high with gear,
With a little old doctor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Doc Nick.
Each had their benefits that they could claim,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now CK! Now GK! And Trans-lab, don't fiddle!
"On Retro, on Sigmoid! Fossa, you're in the middle!
To the top of the stairs! to the end of the hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the floor
The patter of footsteps, and a knock at the door.
As I lifted my head, and was turning around,
A nurse and Doc Nicholas came in with a bound.
He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his toes,
With a twinkle in his eye, and a cherry red nose,
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
"Here's an MRI with signs of necrosis!"
"Or how about a checkup with a tip-top prognosis?"
"I've got BAHAs, and Cross-Ears, and golden eye weights,
And tubes of great eye gel for all of your mates!"
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
"My facial palsy took years to get better,
Now no one's the wiser. And how about this sweater?"
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
Then laying his finger aside of his ear,
And giving a nod, he would soon disappear,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he vanished from sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
