I can't really explain it either. I guess there are just different degrees of dry eye. For about 2-3 months after surgery, I was like you in that I had to use drops and ointment a lot during the day. For me, I think this had to do with my blink being very weak from the surgery. Since then, my blinking became stronger and that translated into my eye not hurting and not drying out as often. It's possible that I do produce some tears on the AN side, but I don't notice it. The last time I teared up(few weeks ago), tears still only came out of my non-AN side. My dry eye getting better could also have to do with climate...I live in the Houston, TX area which is normally pretty humid.
I don't think you're necessarily doing anything wrong, it just seems unfortunately to be worse in your case...I'm sorry, I wish I had an easy solution for you....I know how frustrating this was for me to have this issue for a few months, sounds like you have endured with severe dry eye for a long time. Have you tried the Restasis? Also, there are other people on this forum who had success with the punctual plugs....maybe you've been down that road already, but if not maybe it's worth looking in to. Hope you can find some relief/improvement soon.