Hi, Pam ~
Welcome.
Your post was poignant and resonated with me because, like your husband, I'm another one of those impatient, 'fast recovery' types. I was driving again within 2 weeks (
10 days, actually) of the 9-hour operation to de-bulk my 4.5 cm AN to prepare it for radiation (
3 months later). I probably pushed myself a bit more than was optimal but my neurosurgeon was duly impressed with my rapid recovery and I suffered no ill effects. My wife is a 'natural caregiver' (
middle child of eight) but I pushed away her sincere attempts to 'nurse' me post-surgery because I refused to be a 'victim' and wanted very much to resume my normal life, not be a 'patient' needing care. This caused some friction between my wife and I because, I was, in her words,
"a grouch" but once I regained normalcy, my usual, sanguine disposition re-surfaced. That was five years ago, and we're still married.
Because every AN surgery patient is unique, I can't accurately predict what your recovery will be like. If no complications arise post-op, as was my experience, you'll be discharged from the hospital in about 5 days and will need, perhaps, another week or so to rest and get past the fatigue this (major) surgery inevitably produces. Then, it's a slow but steady recovery. You may need a bit of physical therapy to help you overcome balance deficits and you may not be up to anything terribly strenuous, such as gym workouts, for some time (
months).
I believe that in your situation (
hyper-energetic, impatient husband) your best course is to do all you can to prepare him. Ask your doctor to talk to him and explain that this is serious surgery, easily more serious than knee replacement and often with a longer recovery period. I strongly suggest you introduce him to these forums or print off any posts that you think may be helpful in 'educating' your spouse in the realities of AN surgery recovery. Make it as clear as you can that this is
brain surgery and that, while you have always admired his recuperative powers, you are a different person and will probably need a bit more time to heal and regain full function. Consider, if practical, having a friend or relative help out the first few weeks you're home or consider hiring temporary domestic help, if that is financially feasible. The goal is to make his expectations of your recovery as realistic as possible. I understand that an impatient person may have some difficulty helping you through what may seem, to your husband, a protracted recovery but if he is at all sensitive to the seriousness of the surgery and that you are trying to do the best you can as you recover, it may help.
I'm sure others will have additional thoughts and suggestions to offer but I hope mine will be of some use. Please post as often as feel it necessary. We're here to support and encourage folks just like you and we, collectively, we have a wealth of information to offer. Just ask.
Jim