Middle Fossa on July 1st.

[Darlene]

Hi Everyone,

Well I set a date for surgery!   Dr. Roland & Golfinos will be doing the surgery at NYU on July 1st.  Who knows if I'm still in the hospital maybe I will get to see the  Macy Day fireworks from my room!.  Anyway,I had another hearing test and my Speech Discrimination is at 92% @60db so Dr. Roland said I was a candidate for hearing preservation surgery.

This has been a grueliing decision but when push comes to shove, and as the shock is beginining to wear off, I need to takie in to account what I know about myself, and know that with radiation or watch and wait, I would make myself insane worrying about the what if's or deny the existence and eventually not be very diligent about proper follow up. 

For me, I just want to be done thinking about this decisoin everyday.  I recently read a book called The Paradox of Choice and it had an interesting statistic in it about choice.  It stated that 67% of people say they would like to have some say in their treatment if diagnosed with cancer, but a survey of people who were actually dealing with cancer showed that 86% would rather not have to make decisoions regarding their treatment.   I guess the thought that you have to live with the choice you make is really difficult and in my case with this An,the absolute truth.  It has been a really tough decision  i looked at the facts, my feelings and fears and am really hoping that the gamble I am taking will pay off. 

Thanks to everyone on this site you are amazing people and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings, it has been a great help. 

Taking it one step at a time,
Darlene

[sgerrard]

It has been a really tough decision  i looked at the facts, my feelings and fears and am really hoping that the gamble I am taking will pay off. 

I think that is a good description of the boat we are all in as we face having an AN. Congratulations on making the decision, it is often the hardest part. Now just put it out of your mind until it happens.

Best wishes,

Steve

[leapyrtwins]

Darlene -

congratulations on the date 

IMO, you made a great choice in Drs. Roland & Golfinos - they have an excellent reputation - and the mid fossa approach sounds like it's definitely your best bet. 

Don't second guess yourself.  Like you said, you've looked at the facts, your feelings, and fears and you made your decision.  Be confident in your choice.

You'll be fine!

Best,

Jan

[moe]

Darlene,
Glad to hear about your decision. I think the gamble WILL pay off if the docs are optimistic about hearing preservation.
So good positive thoughts your way through the next month.
Hopefully your symptoms aren't too bothersome and you can get stuff done before surgery?
In my case, the MRI showed the size and location of the tumor and the immediate conclusion was :Brain surgery
So I missed out on all the anguish about decision making but am sure that it is a relief to "get the show on the road."

[Kate B]

Darlene,

It is interesting how much an email can really express.  Your sense of confidence and comfort in the decision you made is evident in your words.  The book, The Paradox of Choice, sounds like a timely read.

There used to be a commercial for an antacid that asked, "How Do You Spell Relief? Of course the answer for that was the name of the product.  With  those with AN's, the answer has got to be D-E-C-I-S-I-O-N made

Hmmm... And to boot you will have one of the best seats in the house for the Fourth of July parade and fireworks.

All the best,
Kate

[alwaysthere]

Darlene,

I couldn't have said it better. The feelings you talked about are exactly how I have felt.After going over everything I was told, surgery was and still is the only route for be. Like you, I would drive myself nuts if I had taken any other route. My surgery is June 25th and I hope to be home to watch the fireworks. Where I live I have a great view of our cities fireworks from our back deck.

I hope everything goes good for you and all the rest who have upcoming adventures in the world of AN's.

Patty

[Darlene]

 Steve,
I am going to take your advice and after the next few days of having to tell work, family & friend I am hoping to put this out of my mind.  Having a lot of end of school activities for my kids should really help.

Jan
Yes, I am pleased with my Dr. choice I really weighed going with the gold standard of House but after visiting another neurosurgeon at a different hospital and being told that "Roland is the guy!"  I figured the comfort of being close to family and friends will be very beneficial.

Moe,
Luckily, I don't really have too many symptoms which made the decision making (for me) even harder but I can't thank you enough for your good positive thoughts.  I am firm believer in positive thoughts, well wishes and prayer so I will take as much as I can get. 

Kate,
Decision made is truly great!   By the way I found your An world site another very helpful resource in clarifying my thought process. Thanks!

Patty,
Good luck on the 26th!  Please keep us posted on your progress as I am sure we will be going through much of the same in the next few weeks.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a 4th of July filled with good health and healing. 

Thanks everyone,
Darlene

[Darlene]

Sorry Patty, I meant the 25th!   I am writing it on my home calendar so I can send positive thoughts and prayers your way on surgery day. 


Take care,
Dalrene

[Mickey]

Hi Darlene! Although still waiting and watching with stable results over the past few years, Dr.s Roland and Gofinos are my Dr.s also. I think they are a great pair with very much experience and your in great hands. If the time comes I`ll be using them for treatment also. Prayers and all the best!, Mickey

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Darlene ~

A just-slightly belated congratulations on making this weighty but very necessary decision.  As we often say, the hardest part is now over. 

You have fine, AN-experienced doctors operating out of a prestigious institution and you'll be going in with a positive attitude - all factors in your favor.  I've always believed in the fact-based cliché that 'life is a risk' and acted appropriately.  I've taken a few (career, marriage, financial, etc) and usually come out O.K.  Not always exactly where I expected, but O.K.  Like every other AN patient, I wanted the best outcome with the least amount of risk.  I soon learned that couldn't be guaranteed but that with a very experienced, compassionate neurosurgeon specializing in AN removals (with decades of experience) using a very conservative approach to my case, I was able to minimize the risks and with much prayer, I again came out O.K.  Not perfect, mind you, but O.K.  I pray that you'll have a similar experience. 

Jim

[CHD63]

Darlene .....

So glad the date is set.  Now you can spend the next couple of weeks focusing on time with friends and family, doing lots of fun things to keep your mind off the heavy load of the decision-making.  I don't know about you but I can deal with the known much better than I can the wondering what, when, how, etc.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Clarice

[Darlene]

Mickey,
Your watch and wait status is very impressive and something I considered in my fact finding.  I hope that you never have to get treatment, because you are certainly an expert in the watch and wait field.    Dr. G & R are very nice guys but more importantly talented surgeons so I know I will be in very good hands.  Thanks for the well wishes and the vote of confidence in the DR. choice it is very reassuring. 

Jim,
Your words are very true and astute no matter what action or inaction I do it involves risk- at least making a fact based risk (for my particular circumstance) narrows the chances of a negative outcome.  I think I have come to accept that although I can hope for a perfect outcome an OK one is more realistic and have finally reached the conclusion I have done my homework and that my AN journey will be what it will be. I  especially appreciate your prays for a similiar experience  to yours and I really hope it comes true.     

Clarice,
You are 100% right, I was making lists of thing I need to get done... but you know what, I am gone plan some fun!  Housework, errands and obligations are no longer priorities.  I am going to the movies, camping and minature golfing, things to keep my mind off my upcoming surgery.   I hope my family doesn't mind the dust and dog hair piling up but I do know my mom will take great pleasure in cleaning my house during my recovery period.  She has great difficulty with my leniency in letting my kids leave their rooms somewhat messy and it may give them a day or so of reprieve before she has them scour the insidie of their closets.   Well maybe I will have to do a little cleaning prior, I don't want her too overwhelmed!     Thanks for your thoughts and prayers I really appreciate it. 

Darlene

[RES]

Darlene,

I had Middle Fossa surgery on May 14th at the University of Iowa. I made the choice to save what hearing I had in my left ear and I'm glad I made the choice. I can actually hear a little better (although my wife disagrees) and the tinnitus is less than it was going in. I hope you have similar results. Good luck with your surgery and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care,

Ron

[m4guzman]

Hi Darlene,

I had mid fosa on April 27th with Dr Goldifinos and Roland.  They are both great doctors.  Please pm me if you
have any questions.  Good luck. 

Marybeth

[catlover]

Hi,
Congrats on the date! It's scaring to make a decision, but it is also a relief when you finally have. I'm sure everything will go smoothly and that you get a great outcome. I'll be thinking of you.

All the best from Helene