depression

[amaguarda]

ok, i am almost 2 years post-op and threw time its been a bumpy road.recently my depression has gotten worse.i have been taking celexa for 2 years and it seems to have stopped working.i literally dont want to get out of bed, or do day to day things.my husband thinks i can just get over it buti am having a hard time dealing with everyday life. i am physically feeling sick everyday and i think i am just making myself sick. ive never been a happy go lucky kind of person but the way i feel now is just crazy.does anyone take any other kind of depression meds that help better than celexa? i could use any advice anyone has for me.i'm really falling a deeper everyday and i feel like i cant get myself out of this hole i am digging.sorry to be such a downer, but thats my attitude lately.

[Dfcman]

Amaguarda,

I get a little down about it myself sometimes.  Every time I think I am getting better with facing facial paralysis something strikes up my anger and depression.  A guy asked me the other day what kind of chew I had in.  I'm improving so much since I had the 12/7 jump; but there are no guarantees in life.  I feel so superficial sometimes.  I guess its cuz i'm a single college student facing hundreds everyday.  For the first time in my life I feel unaccepted, self-conscious and more superficial than ever.

I've also participated in studies that are suppose to link Depression and facial paralysis.  Personally, I don't think there is any link besides cause and effect. Just like any traumatic event there are going to be grievances.  I also do not believe in drugs.  Its a very controversial subject for me.  I feel they make problems worse.  I was on Zoloft for awhile and I was neutral all the time. I felt emotions are what make us who we are.  I don't want to discredit you or anything.  Have you thought about any sort of therapy?  Someone to talk to?  I may not believe in drugs but I am a firm believer in the development of coping skills through professional intervention.

I hope things get better

Chris

[amaguarda]

yes, i went to a mental health clinic, and they put me on medicine that made me worse than ever. i started suffering from anxiety and paranoia and had panic attacks everyday. i stopped taking the medicine and i dont want to go back because it seems there solution is to try other meds.i stuck with the celexa because i have been on that with no side affects.

[jazzfunkanne]

Hi there, i had my op about the same time as you ,my AN was over 4.5cm, are you working ? i get really down at times i think if it wasent for the kids i would be like you, some days i feel i cant get up but i have too for the kids, the other thing is after having a large AN removed  can take alot out of us, some days i have no energy what so ever and i think that makes us sad, i wish i could be the way i used to be. I think having no energy is the biggest factor of being down because we cant run around and do all the things other people take for granted, what age are you? (i was just thinking it may be part of the menopause as well) this happened to me, and i have started taking MENOPACE am not sure if you get that in usa ,it is a vitamin tablet for the menopause and i find my energy levels have went up.

[Cheryl R]

I just started taking Effexor last week after seeing my family dr.        I am a half dose for a week and then go up to double that.       So far,so good with no effects to bother me.    Last winter I tried Prozac which made me jittery and Celexa gave me GI problems.                    I hope this works.   I have some other stress issues not AN related.               
   Tomorrow I go see my surgeon in Iowa City as have some questions about my hearing which can vary some from day to day.        I pretty much know he will say that he isn't surprised.     It's not real bad and it is more voices which can vary.    I am not near where I was prior to the spring surgery.                  I also want to see what he thinks if I would qualify for getting Social Security. 
   I think my age might help with it. 
                                                            Cheryl R

[Kaybo]

Amaguarda~
Good Morning!
I am so sorry that you are facing thses struggles.  I am not anti-medicine and I know that it can be very helpful, but I do believe that there are many other factors that can help.  Do you stay in a dark room all day or do you MAKE yourself get up & open the blinds?  I have figured out that I am very "goal" oriented so in my recovery, I tried to have little goals EVERY day. Getting outside & walking to the mailbox was a goal for me when I couldn't get around very well but might be something to strive for to get some fresh air.   Little things add up to big things!  Sometimes we just really have to make ourselves do things that we don't want to do so that we can get better.  I agree with Chris that it really helps to talk to someone & receive some wise counsel.  Sounds like the place you went did not work for you - do you have other options??  Can you go somewhere else?  If it is a matter of insurance/costs, a lot of churches have someone on staff that is a certified couselor and would be willing to talk with you for free - you wouldn't even have to go anywhere where they knew you!  If I can be of any help or you would like to chat more, please PM me.

K

[saralynn143]

You might try switching to Wellbutrin. It works differently than SSRIs and is often a good choice for women. In addition it does not have a weight gain side effect like some of the SSRIs.

As we start entering fall and winter, seasonal affective disorder can also become a factor. You might want to ask your doctor about a full spectrum light.

I hope you feel better soon.

Sara

[CROOKEDSMILE]

I was severely depressed right after surgery and for a year after. I stayed in bed and never got dressed. Got up to brush my teeth, wash my face and back to bed in a dark room with tv off. I even ate dinner in bed. It finally got so bad that my husband and my parents MADE me get dressed. They would stay at my bedside and hound me until I got up and got dressed and come downstairs. They would also schedule exercise time when my husband would come home from work and would walk me around the block (sounds kinda like a dog.hee,hee) I would go at a snails pace and shuffle my feet due to my world looking upside down literally and when I was at the top of our stairs it seemed like I was looking down from the Eiffel Tower. I passed out anytime I stood up too quickly and fell many times. So for my safety I always had someone there. When we had company they didn't cater to me and have the company come upstairs to visit me in bed......the company wouldn't leave until I came down to say hello. Trust me.......I would get highly ticked off and had many words with everyone being "mean" to me but I am so thankful now that they played hardball and got my butt out of that bed. It helps if your loved one understands that it isn't that easy to just move on and for him to be more supportive. Even now when I have a sinking spell and feeling sorry for myself my kids and husband pull me out of it. I had NO desire to leave the safety of my bedroom but with ALOT of pushing and shoving and nudging I finally found the will to live. I was very suicidal. I'm just telling you this to let you know that someone else other than you has been there and I'm sitting here at this computer........dressed, already bathed, breakfast made, etc and planning what I can get into today. It can be done. I was on an antidepressant the whole time but let me tell you .......there is NO miracle drug. ALthough it helped my mood it entirely did not do the trick. It had to come from within. Take baby steps. I not only had my face paralyzed but my swallowing paralyzed with a feeding tube down for a month. When we had company and they would eat and have nice wine here...my mother-in-law (wine lover herself) would bring me some wine in a baby dropper and I would put drops on my tongue so that I could enjoy what everyone else was enjoying. So that I wouldn't miss out. Probably not  doctor recommended since I would aspirate on my own spit but oh well! Get involved. First step........get out of that room. Turn lights ON! Go for a walk. Read a book. Trust me I know it is easier said than done. What doesn't kills us makes us stronger........and another thing my 88 year old grandmother would tell me and still does is........one day at a time sweet Jesus...one day at a time.
Angie

[lori67]

Some good suggestions from everyone already, just throwing in my 2 "medical" cents -  sometimes, medications can lose their effectiveness after you're been on them for a long time, so it's possible that your doctor could prescribe you something else that might be as effective as the Celexa once was for you.  There are so many types of antidepressants out there now, that if you talk to your doctor about the problems you had with the new one you were given, he/she may be able to find one that won't have the side effects.

That might be enough to get you on the road to feeling better, and then maybe you'll feel like doing those other things - like walking, exercising, gardening, sewing...whatever makes you happy.

Lori

[MAlegant]

Spent the entire weekend in bed, so I know where you are coming from. I take Prozac (10mg) and probably should increase it but I'm seeing my therapist again instead.  It's more expensive but I feel more in control.  Did I mention acupuncture as well?  Yeah, that too. 

So, give yourself a break. You've been through something major, you deserve to be low.  If the prescribed drugs aren't working try different ones.  I  tried several but could only tolerate low-dose Prozac.  It helps.  That and getting through every day and reminding myself that I'm lucky to be here to BE depressed.

Good luck,
Marci
 

[amaguarda]

thanks for all your advice. i'm really trying to push myself out of this depression. i went to the doctors today, he told me the chances of a full recovery are slim after a year, but i am still holding on to hope because i have had some movement since the last time i seen him. and he did notice it so its not in my head.i'm 30 years old i have to believe sooner or later i'll get better if only a little.

[saralynn143]

Don't give up! Read Jeanlea's post called Facial Recovery here: http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=7247.0

Her doctor told her at six months that she would have no recovery, but just look at her pictures, especially the one after three years. This is one of the most inspiring posts I have seen and made me feel so much better.

You are reaching out for help, which is the best thing you can do, so keep it up.

Take care.
Sara

[nancyann]

Hi Amaguarda:  I'm so sorry to hear you've been in a 'down' state.    You may need to have the Celexa dose increased, or try another antidepressant.
I personally have been on Prozac 20mg daily.   I tried stopping it several months ago, & when it finally got out of my system I began having the same
problems you're experiencing.   Talk to your doctor about this.   If the symptoms continue, you may need some medication 'tweaking'.

I understand the frustration of not having your facial nerve regenerating as quickly as you have hoped.  I agree with Sara -   Jean, Joef, & others have seen improvement long after the docs said it wouldn't happen.

Hang in there sweetheart, we're all behind you.

Always good thoughts,   Nancy

[Debbi]

Hi there-

While I don't think that anti-depressants are the right answer for everyone, I also know (from first hand experience) that they can work very well for others.  I also know that you may have to try several before finding the "one" that works for you.  I would also strongly echo Kay's advice to make sure you are getting natural light every day, and to set daily goals for yourself, no matter how small.  I know how tempting it can be to stay inside with the blinds drawn - but it only makes things worse!  And, Saralynn is also correct that many of us are affected by SAD, and that time of year is nearly upon us.  I know that I must get outside every day in the winter - no matter what the weather is like.

Finally, many of us understand how discouraging and depressing it can be to see a strange face looking back at you in the mirror each day. I miss my smile, too.  However, remind yourself that you are SO much more than a face.  I don't know you, but I'd be willing to bet that you are loved by your family and friends and that they see many great qualities in you that have nothing to do with your face. 

Lastly, please don't give up on therapy.  As Marci said, it can help so much to talk to a neutral person. 

I guess what I am saying is - Don't give up!

Debbi, been there....