Thanks Tatianne for the well wishes.
I had my "AHA" moment ...... Dr. Lownie met with both myself and Dan and was EXCELLENT! He spent well over an hour with us and explained everything wonderfully. He probably would have spent the 'day' talking with us had I wanted.
I have decided to go ahead with surgery ----- OMG! I am panicked yet feel a strange sense of relief ..... I do not yet know the date but he will be scheduling me for all the pre-admit stuff within the next couple of weeks. He reviewed the initial MRI that was without contrast from June '07 (the one that diagnosed the 1.5 cm buggar) - he then reviewed my most recent MRI that was done with contrast on Jan. 16 '08 - - he said that there was not 'significant' growth but that there was growth. He also was quite adamant the he cannot conclusively say + or - a few mm's as no two scans are never done exactly the same way and positioning may be a bit off - but that indeed there was some growth -
He explained that, of course, the decision was up to me - as it is with all of us unless it is an initial HUGE tumor that needs to be addressed immediately. He concluded by the audiogists report that the hearing loss is profound in the left ear (I cannot remember the exact numbers he gave me).
He asked if I had any new conditions from the AN and I said no but that the numbness and tingling on the left seems to come and go more often ..... (like that feeling when novacan starts wearing off at the dentist) he then explained that to him this was significant and that he did see on the MRI that the 5th cranial nerve now has a slight 'bend' to it - and that is what is causing this sensation. He did some balance and coordination tests and I passed all with 'flying colors'! He also poked at me with a pin (he was gentle) and I could not really feel a difference from one side to the other (today anyway) - so that was good!
What a decison to have to make - - but I have had 5 months to mull this all over - and he did say that it would need to come out eventually it was just when? Both Dr. Parnes and Lownie said that the smaller a tumor the less complicated it can be to get out .... another thing he mentioned that I hadn't read (see I am a newbie at this) is the facial nerve ..... I expressed my utmost concern about the facial nerve and he so eloquently explained that ..... "let's just say you have had this tumor for 5-6 years, the facial nerve has adapted to this and 'stretched' right along with the tumor - so by the facial nerve adapting to the neuroma and stretching and then having surgery - the facial nerve is basically out of synch as it has been so used to this entity being there .... and he is fixing in a matter of hours something that has been happening for years ....... and that smaller the tumor the better 'chance' the facial nerve has to re-adjust". "Of course, there are never any guarantees" he also said.
LHSC is a huge University Hospital and he said he does about 20-30 AN surgeries a year - it may not sound like a lot - but the populas in this area is not all that great.
I just figured the time to do it is now ---- it is almost on the verge of becoming a 2cm tumor and I would rather deal with it on the smaller side of 1.93 (give or take) - I know it is not a quick fix and the conditions associated with this may or may not improve - but when he said the coming and going of the numbness is because of the 'indent' starting at the 5th cranial - why wait? .... only to go for another MRI in 6 months and keep going through this same process - especially knowing in the back of my mind that it will need to be dealt with at some point .......
?
So it was a good/not so good appointment - but I do feel confident with my (our) decision.
SOOOOO please, what was you 'AHA' moment and do you all think this is the time for me
Thanks for all your thoughts and well wishes!
P.S. I also hinted about my mortality (which I am sure all crossed out minds) - and he said no one has died from this surgery at LHSC .....that made me feel good too
P.P.S. I also mentioned my 8 and 4 year old boys and suggested that I would prefer surgery while they are still in school so their lives are not disrupted too much - - so well see!
