Hi Lainie,
I too am new to the forum but not new to Neuroma's. I had a Facial Nerve Neuroma removed 15 years ago, I didn't have the headaches you have but I do have the facial issues. I'm really glad to hear that your daughter got you out of the house for a walk, getting out of the house really seems to help and addiing some exercise with it makes it twice as good. My husband and I walk the dogs every weekend and now that the weather is getting better we will walk them almost everyday. If you have a dog you might want to give it a try, if you don't perhaps you could get one. They are great companions, they give you unconditional love & you are never alone when they are around. If you walk them a couple of times they will make a point of letting you know that they want to go on a walk again which is good for both of you. Just an idea!
I know what you mean about being better off than some people but it still makes it hard to accept and deal with what you have. Your life isn't going the way you thought it would and it's not because of anything you did. Have you been able to let the anger over what has happened to you get out of your system? When I first came home from the hospital I was really depressed because I went in thinking I had an AN and would be fine. I had know idea of what could be involved with the post op of an AN, then I added on the fact that it was a Facial Nerve Neuroma that added on more complications. To top it off I broke my leg & ankle the month before my surgery and couldn't walk on it for 3 months. All this after we had just bought a new home that we could only afford if I went to work parttime which I was ready to do as the boys were in the 4th and 6th grades. We had only been in the new house a month when everything happened. We managed to keep the house but it wasn't easy on either of us. As for letting out the anger, my husband brought all the things from the hospital home with me. At first I was mad as I didn't want anything around that reminded me of the surgery, as it turned out I was glad he brought them home as one day while I was alone I went into the spare bedroom and took everything from the hospital and put it on the floor with me. I was still using crutches so it was easier to just sit on the floor with it all and bit by bit destroy all of it. I busted the plastic pitcher, the plastic tray I threw up in and destoyred other things I know longer remember but I do remember well taking the scissors to the garmet bag I put my clothes in before my surgery. That was the moment I closed the chapter to my old life and began to build a new life. Not a crappy life or a better life but a different life then what I had.
I'm glad that your daughter is there to support you and hope that your husband will be able to do the same. In your first post you mentioned that he wants to leave you. I'm hoping that is only something you feel he wants to do rather than that is what he said he wants to do. I know now how hard it was on my husband to see me go through the problems I had after the surgery while trying to take care of me, the home and our boys. Perhaps your husband is having a hard time as well, he sees what you are going through and there's not much he can do to help, sometimes being supportive isn't as easy as should be. To top it off when he needed the money the most he got a pay cut, making it hard to support you and then to loose your house on top of it. Perhaps he just needs time as you do to adjust to all the changes. I know it might seem strange but maybe you might want to find a way to help him through this, it would give you something else to focus on and also show him that you know he is suffering too! I say all of this because not long after my surgery my husband went through a strike and didn't have a regular job for almost 2 years, I helped him through it and that's when we realized just how much we needed each other. Things are not always as they seem so give you and your husband a chance to work through all of this. Take Care, Jill Marie
