I have been wearing the Phonak CROS II for about eight months. I am generally satisfied but I understand your frustration and concern. The Phonak system has a lot of flexibility, but only to a point. I made several visits to my audiologist before I settled on the best setup and tuning scheme for me. She worked with the Phonak program and software and had Phonak technical support on the phone as well. Together we built a custom tuning, that while a bit "out of the box", worked for me. Perhaps you could consult another Phonak fitter for a second opinion. Do not be afraid to ask Phonak for an extension to the trial. Trust me, they don't want it coming back if they can help it.
At the end of the day I can carry on a conversation with my wife, when she is on my deaf side, which would be much more difficult without the hearing aids.
I find the sound quality of the Phonak system to be very good. At times I wish there was a lot more gain available form the non hearing side but there is a limitation to what the technology can provide. I sometimes wish I had the option to trade the high quality sound field for a mike and a loud PA system strapped to my head.
Previously I have worn the Soundbite system (until it/they died) and then had a promising experience with the TransEar device that I had to ultimately reject due to a peculiar issue with tinnitus. I tried the BaHa demonstrator but was not convinced enough to warrant the surgical approach.