I read your post the other day and have re-read and feel compelled to reply, as I am in a similar situation. My AN is 8mm and confined to the IAC. My hearing (last check) was fine. My main complaints are a general sense of wonkiness and pressure in the head which is really tiresome and tiring. After my inital frantic panic when I was diagnosed (Dec 2010), and having done my research and found my surgeons, I decided to go with middle fossa when there are signs of growth. While it is not growing, I will live with my symptoms - like others, I fear the surgical outcomes will make me feel worse that I do currently. I could come out of it with no problems, quite possible, but I'm not prepared to take the risk.
I've heard people cite "what are you waiting for" - for me, it is signs of growth - to know it is on the move and it ain't gonna get smaller. I don't want the problem to get more complicated through not taking action, but while it is mosy-ing along without growth I'm ok with W&W.
So for me that would be the bottom line - do I feel !@#$ enough that the risks of surgery are acceptable? Some people do seem to come out of their surgery well and get on with life pretty much as before - you may well be one of those people, particularly if you are fit and healthy. That is the question that has to be weighed up - would I have the surgery, and say lose my hearing, and wish I hadn't "rushed" into it? Or have the surgery further down the track and have issues with the facial nerve because I had left it alone... Arrgghhh!!! That is the dilemma!
Anyway, I made peace with myself by putting in place this plan (W&W until there is growth) - I felt, as everyone seems to, so much better when I had made that decision.
Good luck with your decision-making and I think you do know when you have made the decision you can live with.