Ned, WE get it! Believe me! We are here to listen and try to help you through this.. it is hard for many of us on a daily basis too..
It sounds like you could use someone trained to listen and give some advice.. I know family is not always the right ones to do that ,, sometimes they care too much and can not find the right way to help,, if that makes any sense.. you do not say if you are still under Dr care for your tumor,, maybe you need to visit with him/her....find someone to listen to your symptoms and dispair..
We are here to try to help you in any way we can,, talking on here sometimes helps see that there are indeed others dealing with same feelings and responses you are. Good luck , Ned, here's hoping your symptoms improve and you won't be dealing with it like this "for the rest of your life",, We do care though..... Jane