Hi, Roseann - and welcome ~
You seem like a great mom to your son. I note that previous posters have offered you excellent advice and information. I too, presented with a 4.5 cm AN back in 2006. The neurosurgeon I consulted offered me a plan that would involve more time and effort on my part but would increase my chances of a satisfactory, complication-free surgical outcome. He offered to 'debulk' my large AN, effectively 'gutting' it down to a relatively thin membrane that would be amenable to later irradiation and, in the process, severing the tumor's blood supply. This would , presumably, protect the facial nerve from being affected and still give me relief from my symptoms. Then, following a 90 day 'rest period', I would undergo 26 FSR 'treatments' intended to destroy the remaining tumor's DNA and, in effect, 'kill' it.
The 9-hour surgery went splendidly. My pre-op symptoms (intermittent 'stabbing' pain at the AN site, dizziness, loss of the sense of taste, fatigue) disappeared and I suffered no complications; no facial paralysis, headaches or even post-op nausea, My sense of balance improved daily and I was released from the hospital 5 days after my surgery. My recovery was swift and uneventful. I resumed driving (with my doctors permission) two weeks post-op, and had no real problems doing so, including highway and night driving. My stamina was compromised somewhat and that never quite returned at 100%. However, I was 63 years old at the time of my surgery so I have to assume that my age was a factor. The FSR treatments were easy and almost boring. Approximately 45 minutes five day per week for six weeks (weekends off). I drove myself on the daily, 60-mile round trip to the radiation center. My neurosurgeon pronounced me in the 'top 5%' of his AN patients in terms of recovery. Both doctor and patient were delighted with the outcome of my AN experience. Five years hence, I'm doing great.
With a positive attitude and family support, I'm sure Kenny will do well, too. Remember, we're here to help and support you both.
Jim