death of my mother

[Soundy]

I am sorry for your loss ... sounds like she was a great lady and you a good son ...

[Lizard]

Victor,
I'm so sorry you lost your Mother, our parents are very special people in our lives.  Although you had a rough time with your recovery you were able to "give back" and I can only imagine how much this meant to your Mom.  Hang in there and try to remember the good times.

My deepest sympathy,
Liz

[badbadbrain67]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful messages. I read them over and over. It was hard not to get emotional while reading them.
A year ago I was bone thin from the effects of the tumor and my mother always made sure I had my meals to gain my strength in preparation for the surgery, which was only a couple of weeks away.
Little did I know that a few months later we would be switching places. Because of my condition (the surgery was very traumatic on my body) there was only so much I could do for her, but I'm glad I
was able to be there s that she wouldn't be alone. Somewhere in there there was a time where we were both independent. I was able to go to therapy using public transport and she stayed home alone with no problem.
Wow, I thought everything was going to be ok. That's life I guess. Always a curve ball coming at you.
She had 11 living children and many friends, so she had many visitors but they all had to leave eventually. That's where I came in. The better and stronger I got, the more I could do for her.
I keep thinking that I could have done more, I could have done better, I could have spent more one on one time with her but frankly, I thought she'd be around longer. It was very quick.
She went in Wednesday night, and died on Friday night. The heavy, black feeling in the pit of my stomach will not go away, but I am surrounded by many friends and family and we have been having a good time to honor her memory.
I suspect it will fully hit me during the viewing and service. I am ready.
I am not one of those people who thinks that things happens for a reason, they just happen and you do with it what what you will, but my AN happened at a perfect time for me to help my mother out as I was the only
one of my siblings not working because of it. At least something good came out of it. Ok, so winning the lottery, quitting my job and taking care of my mother would have been a much better option but hey, whatever.
Sorry about my rambling but you all are such sympathetic and caring listeners (readers?). It calms me very much telling such an exclusive,  understanding, (and fabulous may I add)  group of people my inner thoughts.
And remember, always let your family and friends how you feel about them because you just never know.

Thank you guys,

Victor

[CHD63]

Victor .....

Do not ever apologize for rambling ..... that is one of the big reasons this forum exists ..... to shoulder some of the heavy loads we each carry ..... some are related to having an AN and some are related to our lives in general.

Thoughts and prayers as you work through your grieving.

Clarice

[moe]

Yes I agree with Clarice!

We support our AN's and other things too. It's a great place to be.
I understand the heavy feeling in the pit of the stomach. Just keep yourself surrounded by family and friends as much as possible. It's hard work to keep going, but the AN was good practice, I suppose.
My mother passed  away while taking a nap, after having put the groceries away on a normal routine day. Probably a silent heart attack, related to her diabetes. The pain is almost physical.
It will pass, very slowly, but it does pass.
Hang in there~ So does this mean you have 10 siblings? Wow. Hopefully you will all be there for each other.

After my mom passed, we started a journal, writing  our feelings, how we're coping.We passed it around, most of us living in different states. It helped A LOT.
 Thinking of you during this time,
Maureen

[pjb]

We all wish that we have done more and have guilts but I am sure you did the best you could and do not dwell on that you need your strength now to get through her death and your recovery as well. I lost both of my parents within 6 months of each other and deep down I know now that I did the best I could possibly have done..

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Best Wishes,

Pat

[Captain Deb]

My condolences, Victor.  You and your Mom got to share something very special.  Having an illness is an awful thing to go through, but it sure shows the lengths people will go to to be caregivers for their loved ones.  My husband has been my caregiver for the past 8 years and it has really strengthened our relationship.  Your are really blessed to have had such a loving, caring parent.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Capt Deb

[Brewers7]

Victor,
So sorry for your loss.  I am so glad that you were obviously close to her when she needed you most.