Author Topic: want toget off this emotional roller coaster!  (Read 3434 times)

kathleen anna

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want toget off this emotional roller coaster!
« on: August 11, 2010, 08:35:01 pm »
Hello.....I am new to this sight and also newly diagnosed with an AN on the 29th of July..(happy birthday to me!!)  I have had hearing loss for about 3 years and was told that a virus damaged my nerves.  In February, I had a bout of vertigo and have not truly healed....still off balance, still no hearing, and when I turn my head, it feels like it takes a few seconds for my head to focus on what I am looking at, having pain in the left ear, numbness on the left side of my face and on and in my mouth.  I went in for a MRI and found the AN on the left side.......I have surgery scheduled (translab) on September 15th.   Now here is my "emotional rollercoaster".   I thank God every day that this tumor isnt malignant.  I know that there are many, many more people in this world that receive horrible diagnosis than an AN.  Then on the other hand, I am so tired of physically not feeling good, am scared about the surgery and the recouperation, and I feel guilty feeling this way because I know it could be worse.  I have been a single working mom for 14 years and pretty much can handle things that come my way.......usually look at the glass as half full, not empty.   But I really am having a hard time with this one!   Too many emotions..... Has anyone felt this way and any advise on how to get off this ride??   Thanks.......Kathleen Anna

Kathleen Anna ~ I locked your post due to the fact that you have an identical post on the Microsurgical Options board and, to save bandwidth and avoid confusion, we do not permit multiple, identical posts.  J.S.  

« Last Edit: August 12, 2010, 04:21:40 pm by Jim Scott »


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Re: want toget off this emotional roller coaster!
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2010, 06:26:20 am »
Hi Kathleen Anna .....

Check your other post for a couple of replies.

Many thoughts.

Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

Captain Deb

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Re: want toget off this emotional roller coaster!
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2010, 08:55:57 am »
Yes, this AN journey is indeed an emotional rollercoaster but take comfort in the fact that there are a lot of us here on this forum who are on the same ride and we don't take it alone.  Many of us here have become like family and have met up in person at symposiums, brunches, and numerous events.  You can post your tumor size and status in small print at the bottom of each post to let us know a little more about you each time you post by finding the "profile" button on the home page and going to edit profile and finding a thing called "signature line." We are here to take that coaster ride with you!

Capt Deb
"You only have two choices, having fun or freaking out"-Jimmy Buffett
50-ish with a 1x.7x.8cm.AN
Mid-fossa HEI, Jan 03 Friedman & Hitselberger
Chronic post-op headaches
Captain & Designated Driver of the PBW


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Re: want toget off this emotional roller coaster!
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2010, 01:46:10 pm »
Welcome (unfortunately) to the forum!  I'm pretty new here, too.  Read my recent "Frustrated, in for the long haul" thread - I can sure related to what you're feeling.  And we haven't even been on this roller coaster ride nearly as long as most of these folks!  The balance problems sure wear you out.  Trouble is, the balance problems (and the AN) are invisible to both ourselves and others.  Therefore, I just start thinking lots of times "This is just all in my head!" (no pun intended).  "C'mon, Suzanne, just suck it up, shake it off, and get over it."  But it just doesn't seem to work that way, and that's the frustrating part.  Yup, this is a long ride, and I'm trying to take it one day at a time, along with the rest of you.  Some days are horrible, and some days there's a ray of hope.  Today has a little of each for me. 
Rt. side 14mm x 11mm near brain stem
Severe higher frequency hearing loss
I use a hearing aid (Dot 20 by Resound)
Balance issues improving!!!!
Cyberknife March17, 2010
Roper Hospital Cancer Center, Charleston, SC


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Re: want toget off this emotional roller coaster!
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2010, 02:12:56 pm »
Hi Sunfish....cin605(cindy) here.....hold on tight becouse its a scarey ride w/ many dips and hills....we are all here for yu and you will make it to the otherside of the hill.
I am a single mom also and have been for 14 years.....2008 diagnosed w/ AN after thinking inner ear infections for 10 years so i was dizzy a long time....then they told me i had meniers disease ...then the ringing in the ear came...loss of hearing MRI
and surgery....I am 2 years out and its not been an easy St. but i am still here and plugging on.
Feel free to vent here.Pm me if you would me or face book...Cindy edgell
2cm removed retrosig 6/26/08
DartmouthHitchcock medical center lebanon,N.H.
43yrs old