Will she come back the same?

[Karla83401]

Andrea again. . . thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.  If mom had to have a brain tumor, I'm grateful that it's an AN.  But it's still so hard to deal with.  I'm not ready to lose both parents in less than two years.  I have a 17 year old brother and a 13 year old sister.  They've been through enough, as well.  It's just hard, and I imagine it will be until I hear that she did great on Tuesday.  Right now, thinking about her just brings me to uncontrollable tears.  It's been a long day. . . But thank you again.  She said the surgery should last about six hours?  It's supposed to begin around 12:30 (LA Time) , so I think that's about 2:30 my time. I think that's going to be the longest six hours of my life.  Mortality rate is low?  That's what she tells me, but I never know if she's protecting us or not.  And she says she should come out of it the same person she is now. But I'm not sure again about the protection thing or not. I don't know what I'd do.  She's not just my mom.  She's my rock.  My best friend.  I need to know she'll be okay after her recovery.  That she's  not going to change into someone we don't know.  If you guys think she's wonderful on the site, imagine how she is as the mother the four of us have known.  We've all been spoiled by having such a wonderful mother.  What are the facts on mortality during this surgery? will she be the same? I know I must sound like I'm rambing and crazy, but I need someone to be straight with me.  And  maybe that's how she's been.  but she's always put us first, and her first instinct is to protect us.  Even myself at 24 and my brother at 28.  Thank you.

[Gennysmom]

Andrea....take a breath, all will be well.  AN is a blessing IF you have to have a brain tumor.  What I've read about mortality puts it at 1%.  Very low.  I can't say that she will come back the same only because I think serious illness has the ability to change anyone, but IMO, what that means, is that she will come back even better than before because you gain an appreciation for life that you may not of had before.   I'm sure your roles will shift for a little bit as she comes home and recovers...it will give you some more practice at being a mom.  The surgery will take 6 hours on the shorter end of the scale.  Don't be afraid if it takes longer.  I have a larger tumor and expect my surgery to be between 8-12 hours.  Longer doesn't mean bad, just means they're working hard to get all of that tumor out.  They say that for every hour under anesthesia it takes a week to get it out of your system.  Your mom will be tired for awhile and will have to adjust to having the tumor not in there anymore.  Nerves are funny things, and it can throw you off for awhile.  I don't think your mom was protecting you.

Hang in there!!  We always say this is almost harder on the families than the patients.  I think that's true.

[Crazycat]

Andrea,

 Ã‚         She'll come through. She may lose her hearing on the effected side like most of us here. Heck, I've been deaf as a post in my left ear since 1999 and I'm a professional musician - I worked today as a matter of fact!. Since my surgery in September, now I'm really deaf! There's hardly any noticable difference though because I'm used to it.  My right ear is in great shape.

 Ã‚  Here's an interesting story: I have a friend that has one eye. He has better vision in that one eye than I have with two eyes and my glasses on and I'm only slightly nearsighted. It's not that I've been plagued with bad vision. It's amazing how the body can compensate for things like that. The same thing can happen with hearing and equilibrium.

 Ã‚    Just remember, as you know, an A.N. is generally a non-cancerous growth. It's basically a cyst that just happens to be growing in a bad place; in this case, off of the acoustic nerve in the ear. It stinks for sure but it's not the end of the world. This kind of surgery in today's world is standard procedure so try not to worry too much. I mean, look at what we've - the people in this forum - have been through comparatively and that should help you draw a better conclusion about what to expect. The odds are certainly in your mom's favor!!

 Ã‚    Please keep us posted!    Paul

[Obita]

Dear Karla's Kids:

Your Mom, The Rock, will still be The Rock.  She will just be a very tired Rock for a while.  I was never a nap person before surgery.  After surgery they were a must.  The brain heals with sleep just like it rejuvenates with sleep every night.  Send her into her room for her naps so she is not disturbed and turn off her phone.  When she comes out she will be rested and might want to do something.  Walks are good.  Lifting is not.  And don't let her vacuum!! 

The length of surgery for AN's is never predictable so don't worry if it takes longer than you think is should.  My Drs. were tag team.  One went in to a certain point and the other took over.  You can ask if two Doctors are going to do the surgery and if that is the case see if the first one can come out and talk to your Aunt when he/she is done with their part.  They did that with my family and it really helped them knowing everything was going as it should. 

Tomorrow will be a very long day for all of you but by bedtime you will be sleeping like a baby because it will be over.

A Minnesota friend,  Kathy

[Battyp]

Andrea,
  Tomorrow will be tough.  I think it will be harder for you than your mom as she's asleep for most of the day!  Like everyone else has said.  The time for surgery is a prediction!  It might take longer.  I was told 6 hours and mine was 9 hours.  Depending on the tumor they peel layers of it away to protect the other nerves.  Definitely something you don't want the doctors to rush on! I know my doctors kept my family updated every so often until the very end when they were too busy to take the time.
You're mom has been pretty straight with you.  The morbity rate is low (1%) and she's planning to be the same.  Given you're mom's determination and strength I can see that happening!  She will be extrememly tired the first few months and will need extra help around the house with cleaning and keeping up with things.  I had trouble just bending over to get the clothes out of the dryer.  She strikes me as the type who does not like to ask for help.  You guys will need to pitch in without question.  I know for my son this was hard as he was used to me being very independent and strong and taking care of him.  You can read on this site to determine other outcomes but please keep in mind that they are not the norm!  There are many people on here who had their surgery and were back to the normal activities in weeks. 
The one thing I think we will all agree on is...walking and sleep are the two biggest helps post surgery.  The most important thing and the love and support from our family and friends.  Things that might be hard for a while..cooking, cleaning, driving.  I'm sure after the surgery you'll have a better idea of where your mom is.  She will recover it will just be a slow process that is marked by months not days! 

I won't say don't worry as we all have our concerns.
Know we are here rooting her on, and saying prayers for all of you!

[ppearl214]

Hi Andrea,

Do you know how lucky your mom is to have such a terrific daughter like yourself?

Nerves, boy... they certainly do like to get the best of us... know this about your mom (from what I know of her). She researched this very carefully and has made the best "well-informed" decision that she can. Know that all of us here are sending huggles and wishes and prayers and thoughts, not just to mom, but to you all as well. Know that she is in the best of hands at House for this treatment as this is their "forte".... know that I'm thinking of you all.. and sending warm wishes to you, your siblings and most of all, your mom... She's going to be fine. Regardless of the outside, she still the same mom on the inside.. never forget that!

xoox to you all!
Phyl

[Joef]

She won't be the same when she returns ..... She be better!

but the next few months can be hard ... just take it one day at a time! I thought the year would never be over .. it all seems like a blur to me now..

  Joe

[matti]

Andrea  - first of all I am sending a big hug your way. I know how hard this is for you and what a tough couple of years you have had. Your mom is being very honest with you regarding her surgery and you are right, if she had to have a brain tumor, this is the one to have. Sounds crazy, but so true. As far as her being different, I agree with Joe, she will be BETTER. "Tommy the tumor" as she likes to call it, will be gone. Complications from surgery such as hearing loss, facial paralysis (temporary) and balance issues are all very manageable. I have been living with them for 8 years and doing just fine. I do what I used to do before surgery, but sometimes the application process is different than it was before. Your mom may not have these issues, but again if she does, she is still the same mom only stronger.

Again I am being very honest with you, your mom will not change into someone you do not know, she will be fine . She will be the same super Karla that we all know and love, minus one tommy the tumor.

We are here if you need ANYTHING Andrea. Sending more big hugs your way and please tell your mom we all say 'hi" and are thinking about her.

Cheryl

[Road Trip Dale]

My two cents also Andrea!!  I had my surgery just 4 weeks ago and my wife actually told me today that I hadn't changed a bit (of course, I don't think she meant it as a compliment!)  She was worried about losing me also, although it never crossed my mind.  The concern is how long you are under anesthetic, but modern medicine and the skill of the doctor's nowadays, the possibility of a problem is almost negligible.  She'll be the same old great person she was before, I am positive of it.  She'll have a couple of minor problems for awhile, but they will not change who she is or how she feels about you kids.  I played basketball with my grandkids Sunday while every one else was planting flowers for mother's day.  So as you can see, normally, nothing changes.

God Bless you kids, and your mom, she's going to be just fine.

Dale

[Desilu]

Hi Andrea,

Please trust us, your mom is in a good place. I agree with everyone, your mom will not be the same, she will be better! Having a surgery like this gives a person a chance to refocus and realize what's really important in life. She already knows she has 4 great kids waiting for her at home, that's enough to make her feel better already. She may have some temporary side effects like, dry eye, facial paralysis and balance problems but they usually go away over time. She will heal at her own rate, if she's normally active, she will probably heal faster. Walking will be very good for her. A good support system will really help her to improve. Many people on this forum have gone though a lot, they've had many problems and we are here to support them. But, there are also many people that have had this kind of surgery, had a great recovery and never return to the forum to give support. There are many AN success stories out there, just not on this forum. I'm counting on your mom to be one of these success stories and to keep us posted on this forum. She will be in my prayers!   Ann

[Raydean]

Dear Karla Kids

Everything that everyone has said I agree with.  As a family member of a ANer I know how scary this is for you, alot of fears and alot of time to think about the fears.  Your mom is a wise and loving person.  She chose a medical team that has alot of  experience with AN's.  This is so important and is one of the best things a person can do.  Do you know that the vast majority of AN patients that chose treatment have positive outcomes and are able to resume the lives that they led prior to treatment. 
Will your mom be the same?  No, she'll be better.   We think of the AN as a physical thing only, but the truth is having a AN touches us on many levels, emotionally, spirtually, it has a way of touching us down to our soul.  It causes us to really think about whats important in life.  There's alot of discoveries ahead for all of you.  The first will be that you're all stronger then you think.  We think about all of the bad stuff that can happen, and that's a real worry, but I also have to say that there is alot of good stuff that happens too.  There are gifts to be found within this journey.  I am sure that in time your mom will discover hers.  You too will make some amazing discoveries along the way.

All of us here will be holding all of you in our hearts and thoughts.
Hugs to all
Raydean

[Larry]

Repeated centiments from down under Andrea.

We even sent our Prime Minister over your way'ish to make sure your mom will be fine

Sounds like your mom has some loving support and that is vital to her recovery. I was back at ork in 6 weeks post op, taking small steps along the way.

Only advise - keep up the obvious love and affection and everything will fall into place. A little bit of spoiling for ya mom wouldn't go astray either.


Laz