cant believe its been almost 5 months since translab

[TxNurseNoelle]

Hi to everyone, it's been awhile since I posted first of all I wanted to wish everyone a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year. Would love to tell you Im back to work but it is not the case..balance is still an issue, eyes and brain not coordinating, not having vertigo but everything appears wobbly when I walk..Headaches and horrible tinnitus still persist, I have done alot of soul searching these last months and I think I have gone through the mourning of the old me and now I am finally accepting the "new" me with limitations if these persist long term and am learning to do what I can do not what other people may want from me. I do have other health issues with my back and neck so I am sure these factor in as well. I have read alot of the posts through the months and can certainly understand how you can have depression after surgery, but now that I am accepting the new me, I am finding that I can still do things just not as fast as before maybe not as long as I did before and my own way but I still do them and that what counts. My charge position was taken from me the HR dept said I was a "liability" with the problems I am having. If this is a long term problem I suppose I could look into disability, not something I am proud of but I need to have some sort of income. Well didnt want to be a downer, just updating. again, Happy Holidays to all, thanks for listening, Who else but someone who has walked a mile in our shoes can understand the ups and downs associated with this.

[CHD63]

...... and a blessed Christmas and Happier New Year to you!   So sorry you are still dealing with the wobbles and headaches.  You probably are finding that some days are better than others.

At about 5 months out I was so discouraged that I would never be able to walk straight again.  Now, at almost two years out, I still have days when I am very wobbly (remember I have no functioning vestibular nerves on either side), but the good days far outnumber the not so good now.  I have learned what usually triggers problems and can work around those minor issues (no quick standing up and turning to walk, waiting to establish balance before walking, etc.).

You truly will still get better, it's just that the progress slows down at about six months out.  Hang in there, you are not back to the new normal yet.

Clarice

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Noelle ~

Welcome back!  It's good to see you post and I'm glad you're doing better but I can understand your adjustment to the 'new you' is sometimes difficult.  As you know all too well, every AN patient has a slightly different recovery experience.  Some do fabulous right off the bat, others steadily improve over weeks, some over months and some take years to regain their full function.  There is no 'standard' for AN recovery.  The reality is that eventually, the majority of AN patients do return to their normal lives but in many cases, with some deficits, even if those deficits are invisible to others.

I'm sorry to learn that your nursing career has been negatively impacted by your AN surgery but if you have to apply for disability, by all means, do so.  Many of our members are on disability of some kind (public or private) and that is the purpose of the insurance.  With your back and neck issues added to your post-op problems, I wouldn't hesitate applying for disability if you cannot work.  As you noted, you have to have an income. 

Your post wasn't a downer at all, just an honest explanation of where you are, today.  We do understand your feelings of melancholy as you struggle with the new limitations you're dealing with.  Of course, never forget that things will very likely get better with time.

I want to return your wish for a very Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year.   

Jim

[nancyann]

Noelle:  sorry to hear you are having these post op issues,  but am also glad to hear you're on the road to accepting the new you.
That does take time, took me a few years !  Wishing you all the best,  Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[moe]

eventually, the majority of AN patients do return to their normal lives but in many cases, with some deficits, even if those deficits are invisible to others.

Hi Noelle,
Merry Christmas! I like your name- do you spell it different during the holidays? (NOEL)

Give yourself more time in your recovery. It is a slow steady process for many people, and like Jim said, can take weeks, months, years. You WILL get back to your new "normal". The tricky part is a lot of the deficits are invisible to others, so it is a matter of reminding people that you are NOT the same person. They just don't get it. Walking is great, looking straight ahead. Have you tried the WII fit for balance/strengthening? I'm hoping to get the WII fit PLUS for Christmas this year, since I mastered everything on the WII fit. It is FUN and interactive. My college kids are home and "work out" with the WII fit. So cute.

ANYWAY, the mourning is real. You know as a nurse the stages! I still haven't quite gotten to the final acceptance phase, and I'm 3.5 years post surgery.  Oh well. I'll feel better when I get my face and eye tweeked, I think.

Nursing is a very stressful job. Hopefully you can find something easier in your profession. A chance to re-evaluate what the new "you"  can do.

Look at it as a new door opening..Wishing you great, quiet, less stressful  possibilities in 2010~
Fellow nurse,
Maureen

[Nickittynic]

You're not being a downer! Just honest!
And to be honest myself I'm glad to read you rpost, not because I want you to be doing poorly, but because it helps *me* to know I'm not the only one in my position. I'm also a nurse and at 3 months post-op not back to work yet. It's been a real struggle! I sympathize with you and wish you the very best! Happy holidays!

[Kaybo]

Noelle~
I just now saw this!  I am sorry to hear that things are going quite as well as you had hoped.  Everyone that has posted is right in saying that different people have to recover at their own rate.  People always ask me how long it took me to get over my surgery and I always respond the same way, "Well, I think I got pregnant too soon and so my body was putting all my healing energy into a new life BUT to get where I am today...probably 3-5 years!"  Cut yourself some slack and some day you will be able to look back and realize what a LONG way you have come!!  PLEASE feel free to call me - I am going to look for your number right now...if I don't call, I don't have it anymore!

K