Yes, my BAHA abutment is further back than most - that's where the surgeon had to go to find "good" bone to put it in. It's not ideal because of the way the microphones on the Divino are set up, but since the new BP100 is out, it won't be as big a disadvantage. I was able to try out the BP100 at the symposium and it was noticably better at picking up the sound coming from in front of me than my Divino. I would imagine a surgeon would be able to find a good spot to put an abutment for you as well.
Don't get discouraged! Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right doctor who can help you. It seems like for every 4 that tell you they can't help, there's 1 out there that can. Keep looking for that one. This type of technology is improving every day so there's bound to be something out there that's right for you.
p.s. - Jan, I have heard of Bilateral BAHAs - I'm sure it's not that common, but apparently they can work in certain situations.