Miracles Do Happen

[alwaysthere]

In one of my early posts I mentioned how both of my brothers were acting regarding my tumor and being there for me. Both of them basically said not to expect them to be there for my surgery and in fact my brother who lives here in the same town had been really hurtful sometimes. It really bothered me for awhile, but I finally decided that it was their decision and that they would have to live with it no matter what and I never mentioned it again. Well, miracles do happen.

My brother in Texas has called at least once a week since the first of May when I got my surgery date. He has been really supportive and tells me all the time to stay positive and upbeat. For some reason, when I hear his voice I start bawling like a baby. But it is nice that he is so supportive and there for me right now. Still do not know if he will be there for my surgery, as I do not ask.

My brother who lives here has not mentioned my tumor in any way shape or form since I told him when my surgery would be. It is like there was no tumor at all. Talk about a big case of denial. In fact, if he was in a room and someone asked me about it, he would up and leave. Well, guess who has been very talkative this week about my tumor and upcoming surgery? Out of the blue, he asked the other day when my surgery was. I told him and that was it. Wednesday he called and that was all he wanted to talk about. Then yesterday morning he called and wanted to know what time my surgery was scheduled for. I told him I didn't know yet, why? He said he was working on his schedule so he could be there. I told him that that would be nice. Man, was I shocked. So miracles do happen.

I guess that he had to come to terms with all this in his own time. I know that they both love me and are very concerned and do not want anything to happen to their little sister. I really think that was the whole problem. But, when they started acting the way they did, it hurt and that was when I never mentioned it again. As I've said in another post, you have to keep your own attitude and spirits up and not surround yourself with negative people. You have to take care of yourself or it will hurt your recovery and healing.

So with June 25th fast approaching, everything is falling into place. Life goes on no matter what and people will be the way they are and you can't change any of it.

God Bless each and everyone of you. You are a unique and great group and I'm proud to be a part of it, even if it means having a tumor in the brain.

Patty

[joebloggs]

Hey Patty,

It's so great your Texas brother has been calling you every week and now your brother who lives in town has got his head around it (so to speak).  Sounds like it took him a little bit of time to get used to the idea on his own without talking about it but now he's there for you.  That's so great.  Sorry that you were so hurt to start with, but I'm glad they're being supportive now.  Not long till surgery, you'll do great, no matter who is there!

Good luck!

JB x

[suboo73]

As I've said in another post, you have to keep your own attitude and spirits up and not surround yourself with negative people. You have to take care of yourself or it will hurt your recovery and healing. Patty

Hi Patty,

So glad to hear you are in communication with your brothers, this is wonderful!   

I had a relative do the same thing to me, and it was a really 'downer' for awhile.
Then i also realized this relative had been thru alot with sick/aging parents and probably couldn't deal with my situation - at least not right now.

It sounds like your positive attitude has come shining through and your brothers can see it!
I am so happy they will be there for you, both in body AND spirit!

Keep on smilin' your are doing great!
Sincerely,
Sue

[CHD63]

Patty .....

For your sake, I am so glad the communication has opened between you and your brothers.  I do not know your brothers, of course, but from the sounds of things they may have been so shocked to learn of your tumor that they were afraid to let their emotions show.  To you the tumor is very real and personal so their silence became real and personal to you, as well.  (Don't know if that makes sense or not.   )  Some people will not quit talking (therefore not listening) in situations like this.  Not quite sure which is worse!

It is important for you now to focus on your own health and recovery.  Especially now that you know they really do care and are concerned for your welfare.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Clarice

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Patty ~

I'm pleased to learn that your brothers have not only re-established communications with you but seem to have gotten past their initial 'denial stage'.  They've clearly accepted the reality that you have a benign tumor and will be undergoing some fairly serious surgery to remove it.  They now seem ready to help and support you, as you had, quite naturally, hoped they would.  So, yes, miracles do happen, people get over their private emotional hurdles and act appropriately.  Now, onward to June 25th and a tumor-free Patty - with supportive siblings! 

Jim

[ghenier27]

Patty, I realize how hard that is for you. My family doesn't even call to check on me. it is the way they are dealing with it. I had to realize that I had to stay postive. Of course, the rest of my family is several states away too. But meanwhile, my disabled daughter has been the rock for me. And hopefully the rest of the board and your brothers can continue to be a source of strenght and courage for you. As a personal note, I would love to hear about your experience because I too have a AN left side that is 1.6 cmm. So I cann't waitted to hear all about it. I see the doctor June 24th about the options I have.  Good luck and stay postive. One thought to keep in the back of your mind, is after your surgery your on the 1st day of your recovery! Whoooohaaa! Debi

[Keri]

Hi Patty,
I'm also glad about the encouraging news and interest (now outwardly expressed) from your brothers. I'm glad you're feeling a lot more supported.
Keri

[moe]

Hi Patty,
What a relief to have your brothers on your side.
Just took them a long time to process everything. Do you think they did their research after the shock wore off and are now more informed, thus realizing you have a serious surgery coming up?
In any case, I'm so happy that they came around.
Let's pray for more continued support through everything
Maureen

[wendysig]

Patty,

My husband was completely freaked out about my AN, although he acted as if he really didn't care.  I felt so emotionally abandonded by him I really though our marriage was in trouble.  It turned out he just didn't know how to deal with the whole situation, so he didn't dea with it, and hurt me in th e process when  he shut me out.  People do strange things sometimes, not that that is an excuse, just a fact.  I'm glad your brothers have come around before your surgery.  Stay strong.

Wendy

[stoneaxe]

The simple truth....sometimes us guys can be very stupid. Especially when it comes to very emotional issues. I'm glad your brothers have come around for you.

[epodjn]

It's so hard to tell how people will react. Sometimes the surprise is that they are having a hard time dealing with it and are in denial. Sometimes the surprise is that they are so supportive. And sometimes miracles do happen. I'm glad it did for you.

[alwaysthere]

Thanks to everyone for your repsonses. I am very happy that my brother who lives in the same town will be there. We have always been closer than my other brother and myself. Maybe that is why it has been harder on him to deal with all this. Even thou he is 3 years older, he has always depended on me to be there for him and to support him no matter what.

My brother that lives in Texas got married 5 days after graduating from high school and is still married to the same person and has always been more independent.  They just had their 33 Anniv. I will have my 28th in Sept. Now my other brother has been divorced 4 times.

Maybe all this plays into how they each have handled this.

Patty

[epodjn]

I do think family dynamics have something to do with how you handle dificult things like this. I see it even in my children. They were all supportive and loving and very over-protective but all in different ways. They boys tended to make sure I was physically safe i.e. they almost carried me over any ice or slush (surgery 12/08) and wouldn't let me go down stairs by myself for the first few weeks. My daughter was more aware of my emotional needs. They boys were great during the initial recovery but have since gone back to normal behavior. My daugher can almost read my mind and is very attentive when she knows I'm having a bad day.