Author Topic: Anybody wear the ANA "Deaf" Button? (Read 6015 times)

Kathy M · « **on:** October 09, 2009, 08:17:57 pm »

HI All!

I'm back to work (this time, I'm planning to stay, dang it!) and a conference is coming. I was asked before my August surgery to moderate a panel discussion at this event, but I bowed out not knowing for sure how long I would be out this time and not wanting to worry about it.

AND, something I'll not admit to many other than you guys, now that I'm back I could do it, but I'm too worried that having no directional hearing, I would look ridiculous trying to locate the person asking a question. Just not ready for that yet.

Anyway, I am overall VERY uneasy about the whole thing, lots of people, noise, simultaneous conversations, people wanting my undivided attention - this will be the biggest hoop-de-doo I've been to since the loss of my hearing. Have any of you actually worn the button that says what that you are deaf and on what side? I thought about wearing mine, thinking that maybe it might explain why I may have "ignored" or "snubbed" someone if they later see that button. I don't like to always mention it - don't want to sound like I'm making excuses or want anyone's sympathy for what I've lost.

Thoughts?

Kathy

(PS - It has rained HARD all day and I am so off-balance!!! Might have to make a new button that says "Not Drunk/Left Nerve Deficit" too, if it rains like this during the conference!!!!)

TaylorsMom · « **Reply #1 on:** October 09, 2009, 09:46:57 pm »

If it's close to Halloween you could wear some bunny ears with the left one removed. I understand how you feel. My daughter Taylor doesn't want sympathy and doesn't want to always have to say "Oh, sorry. I'm deaf in my right ear." You should go. If you are speaking to a group quickly mention at the start you lost your hearing in your left ear and can't always distinguish sound direction. Tell them to wave or throw soft objects. If you are known for a sense of humor wear the bunny ears, too. I don't know your occupation or how any of that would be perceived. I would think you were friendly and confident if you were able to joke about it. I know. Easy for me to say. By all means, wear the button. That's what they are for. You don't have to say how you lost your hearing. Taylor is in college and has had many instances where the button would have been a good idea. Best of luck and have fun!

Kathy

leapyrtwins · « **Reply #2 on:** October 09, 2009, 10:54:10 pm »

Kathy -

I have two Deaf Left buttons - purchased them shortly after my surgery. My kids, upon seeing them, both said "You're going to wear that???"

They've basically found a place on my closet shelf - I haven't worn either. But then again, I haven't really had an occasion where I felt I needed to wear one of them.

Your conference sounds like it might be the perfect occasion. So I wouldn't hesitate to wear a button if you have one. I like Kathy's suggestion of just telling your audience that you are SSD upfront - if you're comfortable with that. You don't have to explain how you became SSD if you don't feel you want to.

Good luck,

Jan

amymeri · « **Reply #3 on:** October 10, 2009, 07:20:19 am »

I also like the idea of just stating it up front "Before we get started, folks, I need to mention that I am deaf in my left ear. That makes it hard for me to locate sound, so when you have a questions please stand up/wave your arms/dance a jig/turn cartwheels, so that I can find you".

A sense of humor and matter-of-fact manner takes the discomfort out of it for you and for your audience. If I can't locate someone speaking then usually a companion will tap me and gesture in the correct direction...or if after a minor confusion, I laugh and say "sorry! I can't tell where voices are coming from!" and all is forgiven.

I think this speaks to the little bit of shame I sometimes feel...it doesn't make sense. I didn't do anything wrong. But a "defect" is shameful in our society so we try to hide it and pretend we aren't affected. I think shining a bit of light-in a straightforward, friendly way-takes all the uncomfortableness out of the situation.

And, I hasten to add, EVERYONE I have ever met is very friendly, sympathetic and unworried about it all. This is my hang up, not theirs!

leapyrtwins · « **Reply #4 on:** October 10, 2009, 10:44:52 am »

Quote from: amymeri on October 10, 2009, 07:20:19 am

And, I hasten to add, EVERYONE I have ever met is very friendly, sympathetic and unworried about it all.

I totally agree with this. The only problem I have ever encountered after telling others that I am SSD is that they forget - even those I work with every day. I find it very bothersome to keep reminding them, so in a setting like this conference, the ANA deaf button would solve that problem quite nicely.

Jan

Kaybo · « **Reply #5 on:** October 10, 2009, 01:32:35 pm »

I have always been very upfront and straightforward & NEVER had anyone be anything but super supportive about it!

K

Kathy M · « **Reply #6 on:** October 10, 2009, 03:18:05 pm »

You all are fabulous and give me a nice boost when I need it every time! I have always used humor in my life and agree this is a great occasion to continue that. I have just had a few really embarrassing experiences at work that have taken me backwards a step or two. I love the bunny ear idea, but this occasion would not be the place - I will be tucking that one away for another time...that cracked me up!!!

How long does one give themselves to get "used" to SSD before you are experiencing the best it's gonna get? I'm dandy at home, but work is a very different story. And amymeri, I couldn't agree more that this is my hangup and nobody else's.

I will definitely wear the button, buy myself a nice suit for a confidence boost and get out there!!

Kathy

Kaybo · « **Reply #7 on:** October 10, 2009, 04:18:27 pm »

I have been this way for 13 years now - when I first had surgery, there was nothing (no BAHA) to improve it so I just decided that I would have to make the best of it. I go everywhere - even where it is VERY noisy - like the indoor "bouncy" play area or super loud restaurants, bars, concerts, etc. I can't stop living my life just b/c my hearing is shot!!

K

lori67 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 10, 2009, 07:36:26 pm »

Kathy,

I have the pin and only used it once, the first time I traveled by plane. I haven't used it since. I just haven't felt that I need it.

It took me about a full year to adjust to my SSD. I also figured out that avoiding the more difficult situations would not help me to adjust - so I tried to just carry on like before - noisy restaurants (which, when you have small kids, are the only kind you can go to anyway), birthday parties, crowded places. It wasn't easy in the beginning, but now I don't really even think twice about those situations.

I don't have any problem letting people know I'm deaf in one ear - I actually prefer to let them know so I don't appear to be ignoring them. And this way, they're not surprised when I say "huh?". I haven't noticed anyone feeling sorry for me or treating me any differently.

I think it's a great suggestion to just casually mention it at the beginning of your talk so you can request that people get your attention another way (I like some of the ideas!). I'm sure no one will think it's a big deal as long as you don't make it a big deal.

Knock their socks off! You can do it!

Lori

Debbi · « **Reply #9 on:** October 11, 2009, 08:09:12 am »

I'm jumping in a little late, but wanted to add my two-cents worth. I do quite a bit of public speaking and presenting and I always start out with a quick and humorous explanation of my deafness and my tenancy to slur words. Last week, I referenced having the "Mercedes" of brain tumors because it is one of the few that won't kill you AND makes you infinitely more interesting. That got a laugh and made everyone totally comfortable.

I don't hesitate to mention the SSD - it helps people understand why I am constantly moving them to my left side! Never got a button, don't really need it since I have a big mouth instead!

Debbi

nteeman · « **Reply #10 on:** October 11, 2009, 08:17:37 am »

I have the button but don't wear it. I have shown it to people and it seems to confuse them. I keep it more as a keepsake and when need be I just mention to people, 'sorry I couldn't hear you, I'm deaf on that side.' and that works for me.

Once when I was wearing it after I first got it someone thought it was a pin for a rock band 'Deaf Left'.

Neal

tenai98 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 11, 2009, 08:19:32 am »

I have two and used them for a few weeks after my AN surgery til I noticed being SSD wasnt all that bad....I as well informed people up front. Now that i'm back to work (teaching 16 yr olds) I joke about it as well, and inform them of my unsteadiness and sometimes slurred or forgotten words and tell them 'believe me its not because I tip a few before coming to work'. That usually gets a chuclke out of them
JO

moe · « **Reply #12 on:** October 11, 2009, 11:01:00 am »

I never even knew there was one! No one EVER mentioned it to me after my surgery, but then I had my surgery and went back to TX.
May end up being just more of a conversation piece trying to figure out what it means!
The button needs to be more specific.
"I have left sided deafness!"

That is too funny nteeman- the rock band DEAF LEFT!!
Maureen

Kaybo · « **Reply #13 on:** October 11, 2009, 12:33:58 pm »

Moe~
I never know that they existed either until this past year - I figure I have gone all these years without one...

K

Cheryl C · « **Reply #14 on:** October 11, 2009, 03:00:56 pm »

I have to relate a quick experience from yesterday - while standing at a small table at a LOUD wedding reception, I explained to the person to my right that I wasn't being rude, I was deaf in my right ear and couldn't always hear well, especially in crowded rooms. She then said she was deaf in her left ear and couldn't hear either! Talk about an ice breaker. We had a good laugh and exchanged looks of "knowing" - priceless! We could then finish our cake in comfortable silence

Cheryl C

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