I can move mountains........

[CROOKEDSMILE]

I may not be able to move my face like I used to due to recovering facial paralysis but I feel like I can move mountains with my inner strength and determination to get well. I am nearing 40 years old and although my life was put on hold for 2 years I am now enjoying my life once again. I do miss the "old me" and would love to see my big smile again but I am beginning to accept the fact that it may never be. No doctors have the answers and if they do then they aren't willing to tell me that this may be all the recovery that I may get and that this synkinesis thing is forever. This has tested my patience, it continues to test my marriage more than ever, it has made me have a stronger faith in God and has made me realize what is truly important in this life that I live on earth. I feel as if I CAN do ANYTHING and NOTHING can stop me from enjoying each new day and knowing that yes......my life has changed BUT I'm still ME. It is really amazing what I have learned from this experience. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy as there are many other ways to grow spiritually and personally without so much agony but this is what God had in his plan for me and i am making the most of it. Kay, I must mention you here because I just have to say that you are so blessed to have a husband that supports you and adores you.  I have two beautiful sons who support and adore me. It is so important for us to thank those people around us who make us so happy and who see us through our worst days. I am indebted to my two boys for the love and undying support that they have given me and they don't even know the impact they have already made on my life and they are just little boys!
I now take the time out to enjoy each little kiss, every little squeeze and all the little moments that I may have been too busy to enjoy before surgery. Life isn't about the car that I drive, the designer clothes that hang in the closet or the money in the bank account. It is about love. My life has been put into perspective at a time when I thought I knew it all and had it all. Boy was I wrong. I just want to thank those of you on this forum for giving me the support that I needed and I hope that maybe I was able to make in difference in someone else's life who was affected with facial paralysis.
Angie

[nancyann]

Angie:  that was beautifully said.  I don't know if you've ever watched the Dog Whisperer, but he's always saying you have to keep the dog moving foward
(not that we're dogs, but you get the meaning).  With all the struggles we grow stronger - keep moving foward my friend !
Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[Kaybo]

Angie~
I am so glad that you have reached that place where you can see what really means the most to us.  Yes...this is a hard way to learn this but I guess some of us are hard headed & need a little more "encouragement" to see the big picture that God has in mind for us sometimes!  I don't think in anyway that God gives us bad things, but it is how WE allow Him to work in our lives THOUGH those things that will impact our lives and the lives of those around us.  Always remember how you feel right now and dwell on this in times of discouragement...remember WHO is most important to you and WHY.  Yes, I am VERY blessed to have Dave and a whole host of other friends and family who have been nothing but supportive over the years, but I also have realized (& only been able to admit) lately that it is also ME & the inner strength that I have in ME - of course my strong faith, but also how I was raised and the long line of stubborn, "pull up your bootstraps" people that I come from (thanks Mom & Dad and Hi-De-Do & Pappop)!

Onward & Upward,
Kay 

[Jim Scott]

Angie ~

Thank you for a beautiful description of your positive attitude, motivated by the hard-won understanding of what really matters in life.  You've learned, at a relatively young age, what many people never do; that the essence of our lives in not in the externals but the love we share with others.  We know that beauty fades, fame is fleeting and recent events have shown that wealth can evaporate overnight and is a fickle god.  As a Christian, I believe the biblical proposition that we (human beings) are made in God's image.  The bible also makes it abundantly clear that God is love and our ability to love is a gift from God.  When we lean on Him and both give and accept love, we are truly blessed, no matter our situation.  (See 1st Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 1 - 13). 

You're an inspiration to those struggling with facial mobility issues and certainly a reminder of what strength and integrity is to those of us who were spared that particular complication.  You're a valued member here Angie and I hold you in my prayers as you move on with your life - the only one you have - and continue to 'move mountains'.

Jim  

[Mickey]

Very nice writings! Nothing much for me to add except I `m moved and in there with you all. Peace,love , Mickey

[Adrienne]

GREAT attitude.  Kuddos to you for finding the positive and moving forward in such an amazing way, as a role model for your sons on how to handle yourself in the face of adversity.


Adrienne

[mimoore]

Very touching Angie.
I feel a certain inner peace with myself and I know exactly who I am - a courageous woman!
Hugs Michelle 

[saralynn143]

Hi Angie. I've been wondering how things are lately and am thrilled to read your update.

I remember talking to my eldest daughter before my surgery, and telling her that I could handle any outcome except for facial paralysis. Of course, as most of you know, that's exactly what I have been handling for the last 14 months.

As with most things in life, the fear of something is worse than the something itself. Of course it is easier to deal with now that I have at least a semblance of a smile back, but even in those first weeks after surgery, I never once heard a negative comment about my appearance, not from family, not from friends, not at school where we all know kids can be candid -- and mean!

Attitude makes all the difference, and if we are sending out positive energy, that's what we attract as well.

Take care, keep healing, and smile from the inside out.
Sara