I had to share with you all what I did today.
There was a "friend" in my life for over 20 years... we've been through so much together in that time.
Last year when I got my AN diagnosis, I told her in person what was going on. Now, understand that when a friend is in crisis mode, she is always the first to jump in, lend a hand, take control of the minute things to off-load the person in crisis.
Not a phone call.. nothing. I tell her and not a word.
Anyway, we sent each other holiday cards in December. Nice.... still no phone calls. Now, should I feel guilty about not picking up the phone sooner? Mebbe.
Anyway, I've stopped by her place of employment (retail store) many times over the past months but never caught her there. So, today, I try again.Ã‚Â She's there.
Someone goes to get her for me... she comes out and sees me... minor smile. I go to her and give her a BIG hug, tell her how much I have missed her.Ã‚Â She proceeds to tell me that she has called (has all 5 of my phone numbers but never got a message or "missed call" from her). She said she sent email... no emails rec'd. Many here have learned about me is that I always answer my phone.. and if buisy, I explain and always call back. I always call back.
Her son is there. Now, I've known him since he was 3 years old.. .he's now in his late 20's.Ã‚Â He sees me, BIG old hug, kisses, etc.Ã‚Â He sees me with my cane for the very first time.. asks how I am. I ask him if his mom told him, he knows nothing.Ã‚Â Seems he has moved out of his folks home. I give him my business card and ask him to call sometime. I'll take him to dinner.Ã‚Â He's always, always been dear to me.
She says the phone calls go both ways. I agree with her. I ask about her mum (who I've been VERY close to over the years) and she proceeds to tell me about her recent health issues.Ã‚Â I ask about her husband and work... not a question back to me about me.Ã‚Â I give her my card with all updated info (phone, mobile numbers, emails, etc).Ã‚Â I hug her tight again, tell her how much I have missed her. The hug truly wasn't reciprocated.
I'm hurt.Ã‚Â Just hurt... but I'll live.
I know that I tried. I know that I was sincere with her. If I never hear again, I know now I have closure as I tried my best to reach out.Ã‚Â
It's ok... I'll be fine... it just hurts. Tomorrow is a new day.