Sorry I am saying HI so late... Life has been a little hectic...
We can all feel your pain, fears. I was almost 39 when diagnosed, with a 1 year old at home. I too had a fairly large AN, but little symptoms. It was a horrible 4 months of being diagnosed, worrying, meeting with docs to discuss options, making a decision and going for it. I can understand your concern for your face, and know this is hard for everyone... us ladies who think we look pretty good especially!
I think you will find there are many experiences here, some better, some worse, but most/all seem to work out in time, but know that you will probably take some time to get back to normal, whether you have facial issues or not (and this is not a sure thing, even with a larger tumor). I hope you are one of those who breezes through and does have to deal with any facial issues (although having gone through all of this in the past year, i feel strongly that is better to look bad (within reason) and feel good, than the other way around. I also like to think of my journey as getting a little better everyday, much preferred to something that gets worse everyday!
I am glad to hear you have kids (puts life in perspective) and a hubbie (a good supportive one i hope!). These things made a world of difference for me.
I am now nearly 1 year post surgery and VERY pregnant (7 months) with identical twin boys. I did have some bumps in the beginning (the worst was double vision, which totally resolved by month five... before that i patched the dodgey eye), and temporary facial paralysis (which did not really start to recover until around month 7), which is still a work in progress, but i reckon i am about 70% better. I know from many of the wonderful people on this site that recovery can continue for a few years, so i am patient and grateful for all good things that come my way.
I am sure you will get the best care possible and you will find that the voices in your head (screaming "tumor") and tears will lessen as you go forward, and soon you will be on the other side of this and that is a far better place to be... on the road to putting this behind you. You will be fine. Be strong, be positive, be thankful, be patient.
Trish in Toronto, Canada