have a second opinion because the first doctor I consulted seemed indifferent to me as a patient and somewhat intimidated by the size of my tumor. I quickly decided on that 'second' neurosurgeon, as he came highly recommended and impressed me (and my wife, who accompanied me on my consultation) with his serious attention to my concerns and his complete understanding of my case. I had made the appointment 24 hours earlier (he made time for me) and this busy neurosurgeon must have studied my MRI and medical history the night before. He presented me with a plan (tumor de-bulking surgery, then radiation) and kept using the phrase "if you decide to hire me"
which was unusually deferential and showed a humility rare in surgeons of his caliber. I immediately decided on this doctor - and he more than met my expectations. A successful surgery with no real complications, uneventful FSR treatments and fairly rapid results; an immediate cessation of symptoms and, at 6 months, necrosis that has continued with every MRI. On my last check-up, this doctor stated that I had met all of 'our' goals. I agreed. Obviously, I don't have any regrets over my decision but I realize it could have ended much differently.
I've long realized that life is made up of risks. I've taken a few, as we all do. Most have worked out well (my marriage, for instance) a few were disasters and many just had 'O.K'. results. My decisions related to my AN were constrained by it's large size but my choice of surgeon, was, on hindsight, excellent. I 'went with my gut' on that one (well, my wife's gut, too, as she wholeheartedly agreed with my decision, for the same reasons). Would I have regrets if things hadn't worked out so well? Probably - but not for long. Forgive me for stating the obvious but we can't change the past and agonizing over decisions we've made that seemed logical at the time but didn't work out as well as we would have liked is futile, and I don't go down that road very often or for very long as it's totally unproductive. I deal with the reality of what is, not 'what might have' been because 'what might have been' never really was. Ambiguous? Maybe, but it makes sense to me. Jim