Hi Nancy,
Well, not hearing problems
exactly like yours. No two ANs are ever alike.
I have had, and still have, some fluctuation in hearing level on my AN side. It was more noticeable before treatment, and I expect it to stabilize in another six months - I had CK radiation six months ago. It seems to be a result of pressure in the ear, probably swelling now that I am post radiation, but a similar thing was probably happening before. The AN is not a welcome visitor, and your body can react to it, get irritated, and swell up around it. It may even have to do with pressure that reduces blood flow to the ear itself (the vestibular lab people suggested that in my case). The good news is that if the hearing in that ear is sometimes normal, that means the nerve itself is not permanently damaged, so the prospects for preserving useful hearing after treatment are good.
My own hearing dropped about 50% before treatment, and it has remained there after treatment. With a hearing aid, I am able to get very useful hearing on that side. As I share your dislike of the prospect of surgery, I think the plan to do radiation if it is growing is a good one, and you could have a very good outcome.
I hope it goes well.
Steve