Author Topic: Merry Christmas--An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas  (Read 2747 times)

jaylogs

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Merry Christmas--An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas
« on: December 25, 2015, 12:27:18 am »
Hello everyone! I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and also Happy Holidays to those who don't do the Christmas thing.  I also wanted to repost something very cool, from one of our legendary members Steve Gerrard:

An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas


'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the forum,
Not a creature was stirring, there was perfect decorum,

The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While sounds of tinnitus hummed in their heads;

When out on the website there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to Windows© I flew in a blink,
Tore open the browser and threw up the link.

The LCD monitor put out such a glow,
The luster of mid-day lit the postings below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature gurney, heaped high with gear,

With a little old doctor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Doc Nick.

Each had their benefits that they could claim,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now CK! Now GK! And Trans-lab, don't fiddle!
"On Retro, on Sigmoid!  Fossa, you're in the middle!

To the top of the stairs! to the end of the hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the floor
The patter of footsteps, and a knock at the door.

As I lifted my head, and was turning around,
A nurse and Doc Nicholas came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his toes,
With a twinkle in his eye, and a cherry red nose,

He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

"Here's an MRI with signs of necrosis!"
"Or how about a checkup with a tip-top prognosis?"

"I've got BAHAs, and Cross-Ears, and golden eye weights,
And tubes of great eye gel for all of your mates!"

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

"My facial palsy took years to get better,
Now no one's the wiser. And how about this sweater?"

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

Then laying his finger aside of his ear,
And giving a nod, he would soon disappear,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he vanished from sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Also, here's something that our very own ArizonaJack posted, a tweaked version of the above...

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
A neuroma was stirring, the size of a mouse.
The research was done on the computer with care,
In hopes that Doc Nicholas soon would be there.

The patient was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of MRIs danced in his head.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an ambulance sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old doctor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Doc Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of meds, and Doc Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Doc Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of meds he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He cut out the tumor, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
8.1mm x 7.8mm x 8.2mm AN, Left Ear, Middle Fossa surgery performed on 12/9/09 at House by Drs. Brackmann/Schwartz. Some hearing left, but got BAHA 2/25/11 (Ponto Pro) To see how I did through my Middle Fossa surgery, click here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jaylogston

arizonajack

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Re: Merry Christmas--An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2015, 12:55:42 pm »
I like yours better.

Now let's all sing along to My Schwannoma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52yucjy_Q8s&feature=related

3/15/18 12mm x 6mm x5mm
9/21/16 12mm x 7mm x 5mm
3/23/15 12mm x 5.5mm x 4mm
3/13/14 12mm x 6mm x 4mm
8/1/13 14mm x 5mm x 4mm (Expected)
1/22/13 12mm x 3mm (Gamma Knife)
10/10/12 11mm x 4mm x 5mm
4/4/12 9mm x 4mm x 3mm (Diagnosis)

My story at: http://www.anausa.org/smf/index.php?topic=18287.0

areles

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Re: Merry Christmas--An Acoustic Neuroma Christmas
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2016, 11:35:30 pm »
oh man, guys, thanks for this.  first time i've laughed in two days.

i didn't even know enough to find this funny a couple of days ago.  levity is good medicine.
22 y/o son:

2.8cm dx 12/31/15
translab (10 hours) at house clinic 2/23/16 - dr schwartz, dr miller
surgical repair of csf leak 2/27/16 - dr miller, dr chen
as of 2/28/16, still in hospital, with tentative release scheduled for 3/1/16
{indeed sprung 10:15a 3/1/16}

 


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