Hi, Mei Mei ~
Your post describing your feelings of abandonment and loneliness was as startling as it was poignant. Startling because even though I've been self-sufficient just about all my life, I've had my loving wife as my anchor and helpmeet for most of my adult life (41 years of marriage) and it was a bit of a wake-up call to realize that there are good folks like you that don't have that kind of support during times of stress, such as surgery. When I went in for my AN surgery I had my wife, son, sister-in-law and brother-in-law with me and I was visited (and prayed for) by my minister and 4 church Elders just prior to being taken to the OR. My wife slept in the nurses lounge for 2 nights until she was satisfied that I was O.K. Although I'm sure I would have recovered at about the same pace during my first few days post-op, it was highly reassuring to wake up from one of my many naps and see my wife quietly sitting in a recliner next to my hospital bed. It's definitely heartrending to learn that you haven't had this kind of support. I wish there were a way I could remedy the situation as it obviously is stressful and a bit depressing for you - which is perfectly understandable. I find it a source of some optimism that these ANA discussion forums have been so beneficial and supportive for you. That, of course, is one of the primary purposes for the forums and it's good to see that they are more helpful than we may have realized. Like everyone else who has posted, I'm sorry that your family is too-often absent from your bedside when you have to undergo medical procedures. I trust that the good people posting their sincere expressions of support to you here will continue to bring you some solace. For what it may be worth to you; I'm one of those people. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers for quite some time, Mei Mei. Try to remain hopeful and strong.