Noisy Environments and Balance Relapse

[jaylogs]

Awww Cheryl, sorry to hear about what's going on, but I am REALLY glad you posted this, as I am about ready to return to the work force here in a couple of weeks.  I work in a fabrication plant making computer chips (Intel Corp.) and I work around a lot of machinery.  Usually I am on my feet a lot and as I work a 12 hour shift, I am a bit nervous about how this will go. I will most certainly try to keep my work load to a minimum, thankfully I work for a company that allows this.  I can only imagine how being SSD can compound your recovery and lead to the overload.  I know you have read a lot of posts on here as well as I and that seems to be a common trend amongst all of us who have gone through this and now trying to adapt and the biggest thing is we all get back on our feet expecting to go back to doing things at the same pace we used to. Well, we just can't do that. Anyways, thanks for sharing your experiences with all of us, newbies and alike!  PS: Sorry to hear about your daughter, hope she is feeling better!
Jay

[alicia]

Tumors do stink!

Try not to get too discouraged yet.  I have found when I try to do something and it hurts or does not feel good (drying my hair, remember that? situps, running, laying on the AN side), if I just wait and try it again in a month, it feels better.  I realize this is not what you or your boss really wants to hear, but I have got to believe the wobbly head/dizziness should get better.  If it doesn't, I guess you have another unexpected new road in front of you. 

It's not a door closing , it's a new one opening    Alicia

Will find that book...and sending get well wishes your daughter's way right now!

[Lee Mc]

Cheryl,

I am a teacher, too, 4th grade, actually. I did not have the surgery, but am at the stage post radiosurgery where I think my tumor is swelling and therefore, causing me more symptoms. I have been having a very difficult time teaching lately. My head feels like I'm underwater and when talking with kids at close range they seem so far away. Not just from a hearing perspective, but in terms of being able to connect to their conversation. I want to slow down all the movement and noise in my class, which of course, I cannot do. By the end of the day, I am absolutely exhausted. I definitely can relate to the too much stimulation comments many have made. But, that can't change... it's my job. I'm trying to decide if I should take some time off from work and work on some rehab and rest, of course, and see if there is any improvement. I'm hoping the tumor will start to shrink/die soon and I will return to normal.

Are you taking time off from teaching? I hate it that my students are getting this "less than whole" me as their teacher. I'm sitting when I'm teaching just to minimize the light-headedness... something I rarely did prior. I'm less patient than normal and am constantly asking the kids to work more quietly, even when they are in groups and need to talk. I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence and it takes me at least double the amount of time it used to just to create my lesson plans and grade papers. I'm just so tired...
Lee

[Seal]

Hi Cheryl,

Yep, I have had those same issues.   Most recently, I've been coaching 10 yr old boys in a very nosy gym on Saturday mornings.    At any one moment, there are 40 plus boys, yelling, and screaming, with bouncing basketballs and adults conversing all at once.  The last two Saturdays, I've had to lie down in the afternoon when I get home due to the pounding in my brain!     Luckily, I work in a relatively quiet office during the week, but the work is intense.   So by Thursday or Friday, I'm tired and the body is starting to drift a bit.   As long as I get a good rest during the weekend, I'm usually good to go by Monday morning.   So yes, fatigue both physical and mental can add to the impaired balance, at least in my case.   

BTW Alicia, you described those electrical zaps perfectly.    I thought it was just me.    I'll be almost to full sleep in bad at night when I hear an otherwise normal sound in the house, and in the other I'll get that loud "ZZZZZZZTTT!!!"    It sounds like the sound my speakers make when I shut down the stereo.    Weird things these nerves..............

Steve

[another NY postie]

THanks for everyone's ideas and support.  I had a teacher give me some noise reduction foam earplugs this morning that she had around her house...I know it is an obvious one, but I just hadn't gotten to earplugs and boy do they make a difference in homeroom and hallways or anywhere I don't want to hear much or increase my white noise.  The caveat is that I can't hear much so I can't really use them in classroom.  It does make me want to explore the musician's ear plug I heard about.  Anyone try those?  Think they would work in a classroom -  would I hear the kids or just the kid who I am conversing with?  Not sure of the "whole classroom" application and they are custom made so that is why I haven't pursued that yet

Balance:  I am doing MUCH better with this.  Haven't clipped a wall in a couple of weeks!   I started walking/jogging again on Friday.  I had not done this for 3 weeks because I was so darned tired after work.  There was some movement to the world but after I felt great and have kept it up.  I did, however, only have a three day week last week so that might be contributing (LOTS) to my wellness!

I am pretty sure they are not going to go for part-time using my sick time for the other time and I don't think I can afford to cut my salary by 2/5.  A teacher who went through a serious illness told me today that her doctor wrote a note saying she needed to go part time and they refused so she stayed out longer.  I am going to try right now to do a 4 day week, using a sick day once a week.  I am also trying different strategies during the day - I stay in a quiet room for two breaks in a row which is 80 minutes.  I am going to try walking outside a bit during this time to center/ground myself more.  I am also trying to stay off the computer a bit.  Sleep is somewhat better....

....so maybe this is all just a big transition (wobbly) minus the noise stuff that is SSD stuff.  Time will tell...

Hanging in there day by day 

Cheryl

[moe]

Cheryl,
Glad to see that you trying different things to adapt to the new  post AN "you", something that people just don't get- we do
Those foamy ear plugs are great aren't they? Keep adapting and walking and resting when you can.
You are doing AWESOME for the fact that you are tackling all those stimuli so quickly after major brain surgery. Things will get better
Maureen

[Rc Moser]

You didn't mention any headaches?  For me noise/headaches is a constant battle even after 6 1/2 years . Sound like the remaining nerves left off the brain are still sending signals to the brain or the 5th nerve is going wacko. I am afraid being in noise envioment will soon develop into an headache pattern that many of us An'er with larger tumors suffer from, not all, but big percentage. ref: Helsinki report.

 From my experience all the little high pitch nosies, water dripping, or even water turned on for bath or shower, silverware clanking, glasses clanking togather, any radio or TV turned up even loud enough to hear it creates the buzz and many times have triggers severe headaches, I always have head pain. Even riding or driving at moderate speeds with no radio on causes the buzz for me especially after a day of work. You will find you have a new sensitivity now for little nosies that before you never even heard. People and even doctors really don't understand what most of us go through (unless you got a doctor that actually had an AN), they see a seemly healthily looking person and probably think we are just whining, at least that's the preception I get, but I'm a male. IMO don't expect anybody that don't have your condition to understand nor do most of them care cause the see no change from the outside. IMO that's why most people don't understand migraine's till they had one, most think is just like a bad hangover, not!

[Esperanza]

Just wanted to say I suffered all the same issues as you but I am pre-op - lost my hearing and a lot of balance function very suddenly though
and I think what you are describing is suffered by almost all people who do suffer this kind of loss suddenly.

I would think getting over the op maybe increases your tiredness but I still get very tired when I have had a busy day - I've just been to see a vestibular physiotherapist who says this is all normal and even though I am two years on from my loss, my brain will tire more easily than someone with binaural hearing/vestibular function and consquently this can also affect my balance at times. I am going back for a programme of exercises in the gym which will help to create new neural pathways and this will help my balance overall - so I'm told (still knocking into door frames and furniture from time to time).

Where the noise is concerned - that will definately get better - maybe you have overdone it but you have to experience it to get used to it!  I struggled initially in all kinds of noisy environments (including lectures when there was background noise) but my brain has adjusted and I get by quite well - in fact I tell very few people I have a hearing deficit at all.  
I do wear earplugs very selectively and I am sometimes very glad to be in a quiet place at the end of a busy, noisy day! I only really struggle now where there is loud ambient noise and someone is on my deaf side (well slightly behind me strangely!) if they are anyway roundabout in front/side of me I am ok.
It's for this reason I would like to try an aid (maybe the transear) just to boost my hearing in certain situations.  Anyway, sounds like you are really doing well and pushing yourself (if a little too much!) but I can understand your quest for normaility.  I am planning to have my AN out later in the year and hopefully all I have been through before means I have far less adjusting to do after....  

[another NY postie]

I seem to be adapting slowy to the noisy enviroment and the wear and tear effects seem to be more cumulative, so by the end of the week, my surgery area (jaw/eye socket) ache and I am very fatigued.  BUT I went skiing again today and did fine.  Go figure!!!   Mike (loosescrewstightened) has a theory that we can do difficult things that we did before where we were always conscious of our balance (he was able to skateboard again!) but the every day things that we take no notice of and were automatic, trip (no pun intended ) us up.  Anyhow, when I ski, I am 100% focused on my balance and it is quiet.  My daughter even talked me into to going down a couple of blacks (very wimpy blacks, mind you).  I made myself go today because I needed the exercise and I wanted to see if I could do it now with all this other stuff going on.  Yet, I get dizzy and wobbly from middle school!?!  This old brain is definitely a mysterious thing and steers its own course in recovery ...
Cheryl

[moe]

Yet, I get dizzy and wobbly from middle school!?!  This old brain is definitely a mysterious thing and steers its own course in recovery ...
Cheryl

Hi Cheryl,
Yes, the brain is definitely very mysterious! I do so much better outside, with nature sounds, with the tinnitus/occasional dizziness problems.  Being confined in a room with all those noises/activities going on just will take getting used to.
That's cool that you could go skiing again, what fun. Keep up the good work
Maureen

[newmommyLA]

Hey Cheryl,
I just saw this thread today and I was very sorry to hear you've been struggling a bit since your return to work.  I can't imagine teaching middle school right now, or any school for that matter, but I think anyone who has gone through brain surgery and is now adapting to a new way of interpreting the world (being SSD) would find your situation challenging.  You have been a role model success story for so many of us as you've bounced back so quickly from surgery even though you suffered some losses.  We all suffer some kind of casualty and we know this going in.  Most of us hoped for the best possible outcome and want to get back to our normal routine as soon as possible.  As we've learned from so many survivors who've gone through this years ago, we can have unexpected setbacks further down the recovery road.  I'm still so inspired by your strength and I know you'll get through the tough times. 

Hang in there and keep doing the fun stuff!

Amy

[Denise S]

This old brain is definitely a mysterious thing and steers its own course in recovery ...

Cheryl,

I had to quote that because it is something I keep saying too (about "the brain is definitely a mysterious thing")!  So true!  One of my issues is that I sure wish others who have not had any type of brain surgery, complications, or just AN issues could understand.    I think I'm tired of people saying "join the club, my hearing has been off for awhile", or saying "it will get better soon".   They just don't know.   As for some of us (like yourself & I for sure), the SSD was a sudden thing after surgery.   Not the same as slowly losing hearing or dealing with muffled sounds.   Our brains have to suddenly try to readjust to everything, plus heal from a major surgery.     As for "better soon"......how do they know?        [mind you, I'm only referring to people withOUT AN's]

I also know what Mike (loosescrewstightened) was saying and he sure did seem to have a great point there.   Now you have some proof to that too, so cool!   


Best Wishes to us ALL!

[pjb]

This old brain is definitely a mysterious thing and steers its own course in recovery ...

Cheryl,

I had to quote that because it is something I keep saying too (about "the brain is definitely a mysterious thing")!  So true!  One of my issues is that I sure wish others who have not had any type of brain surgery, complications, or just AN issues could understand.    I think I'm tired of people saying "join the club, my hearing has been off for awhile", or saying "it will get better soon".   They just don't know.   As for some of us (like yourself & I for sure), the SSD was a sudden thing after surgery.   Not the same as slowly losing hearing or dealing with muffled sounds.   Our brains have to suddenly try to readjust to everything, plus heal from a major surgery.     As for "better soon"......how do they know?        [mind you, I'm only referring to people withOUT AN's]

I also know what Mike (loosescrewstightened) was saying and he sure did seem to have a great point there.   Now you have some proof to that too, so cool!   


Best Wishes to us ALL!

I just cannot say it enough this forum is so good for so many especially me you said exactly the same words I have said only to my husband who falls under that category others I have not yet had the nerve to say it to them. Thank you for writing down my exact thoughts.

Best Wishes,

[nteeman]

You know I've lost count of the times I have explained, after being asked, the difficulties and frustrations I am learning to deal with since becoming SSD and I get a response of 'me too' from someone who is not SSD. As if a noisy restaurant or gym is just the same for them as me.  I remember what it was like before I became SSD and yes some noisy environments made it difficult to hear well in -- BUT it is not the same as being SSD in that environment. There is a tremendous dimensional difference that people just don't get. If I can make an analogy - this is like saying to someone with one leg that going uphill is hard for me too.

Neal

[ombrerose4]

You could not have said it any better! Non ANer's can never understand what we go through. They think " Oh, she had brain surgery, she looks fine, I don't see anyhting different about her". But WE all know better than that, which is why this forum helps keep me sane