Author Topic: Sorry to crab  (Read 11458 times)

Lynn Mc

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Sorry to crab
« on: December 16, 2009, 07:10:47 am »
I thought I was all set for my BIG date in January, and THEN the other shoe drooped!!!  I am really depressed now.  My husband has just been diagnosed with a nerve issue in his back.  (Doctor re comends he get a wheelchair!)  I am also main caregiver for my 87 Y/O Dad who has the big ALZ  (we still haven't gotten over the last full moon)!  I was doing pretty good with the situation until my husband became laid up.   We also have 3 horses and a couple of labs to care for & love.  All of this was easily managed prior to Don screwing up his back.  He is retired & around all the time so he would care for all the critters, and keep an eye on Dad during the day (while I worked).   NOW I have inherited everything!!  Which would be  fine if I didn't have "LOOPY" in my brain!  He is not concerned about me as he feels I have a bump in my ear canal!  Why does he not get it?  Now I am waiting to see what they are going to do for him before I make any decisions about the removal of "LOOPY".

Sorry to whine.  I usually don't and it is so unlike me.

Lynn & the everpresent "LOOPY"

"Life IS Good"
« Last Edit: December 16, 2009, 07:12:21 am by Lynn Mc »
Translab 01/22/10.  12 x 11.7 x 8.2 mm.
Dr's McKenna/McCall at Mass Eye & Ear,
Dr. Barker at MGH. 
SSD - No other significant problems post surgery, just some minor inconveniences!  Yipee!!
BAHA implant 04/08/11 Dr. Merchant
BAHA Gotcha 07/25/11
"Life is Good"

lori67

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2009, 07:39:04 am »
Lynn,

It sounds like you have every reason to whine!   You have a whole lot on your plate right now.  When it rains, it pours.

It seems to be difficult for those not blessed with their own "loopy" to understand what we deal with.  Fortunately, you've come to the right place, because we all get it.  So, vent, whine, whatever!  We don't mind.

My dad had Alzheimer's too and caring for him became like having 3 full time jobs.  Have you checked with your local Alzheimer's Association to see what kind of services they might be able to help you out with?  They are a great source of information and support.  If you don't have one near you, check with social services in your town and they might be able to help you out too.  Right now you have to get some help - I don't think anyone could handle all that themselves! (labs are pretty smart - maybe you can train them to pick up some of the slack!   :D).

I hope the doctors come up with a good solution to your husband's back problems so he'll be on his feet soon and you can spend some time caring for yourself.

Life IS good, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves!  Hang in there!

Lori
Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

leapyrtwins

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2009, 08:02:20 am »
Lynn -

don't feel bad about "crabbing" - you aren't the first and you won't be the last to vent on the Forum.  I'm sure I've done it myself - and a lot more than once  ;D  It's one of the things we're here for - so, don't ever hesitate to share your frustrations with us.

I'm sorry for the circumstances you're facing; I hope everything works out.

Best,

Jan
Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
Left AN 3.0 cm (1.5 cm @ diagnosis 6 wks prior) SSD. BAHA implant 3/4/08 (Dr. Battista) Divino 6/4/08  BP100 4/2010 BAHA 5 8/2015

I don't actually "make" trouble..just kind of attract it, fine tune it, and apply it in new and exciting ways

CHD63

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2009, 08:34:32 am »
Lynn .....

I am so glad you came here to vent!  All of us here are very empathetic and can fully understand the need to release.  If we could only wave a magic wand and make it all go away, we would!

Lori gave you some good suggestions on seeking some help with your dad.  I hope you live in a place where services will be available for you.  ..... and I hope the report on Don is more optimistic in terms of treatment possibilities.

You need to be able to address your own health issue.  Do not push this surgery back without your surgeon's approval.  Although not the same as your situation, my first brain surgery in 1994 had to be pushed back a week because I failed a bleeding time test on the morning of the surgery.  I was so distraught because I had really psyched myself up to be ready for it and then the let down was awful.

Let us know how you and your husband are doing and please continue to vent all you want.

Thoughts and prayers.

Clarice
Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

pjb

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2009, 08:59:09 am »
Please advise your husband it is not just a bump in your head this is a brain tumor benign yes but it still affects the brain. You have to remember to take care of #1 and that is you, I know it is easier said then done.  The only good thing about this bump in our heads is in most cases it is slow growing but still try not to put it off. I can suggest for you to look into everyone's insurance to see if you can have a caretaker for the time that you need to recover to assist in caring for your husband and dad, most insurance companies to have some sort of homecare coverage. I wish I had an answser for the animals maybe friends or neighbors could help with that.

My prayers are with you,

Pat
Diagnosed with a 1 cm. AN had Retrosigmoid
Approach surgery July of 2009, several problems after surgery.

cin605

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2009, 09:05:35 am »
Hi Lynne!
Do not feel bad about crabbing!Your other !/2 hasn't seen nothing till your on steroids for two weeks!!!! ;D
Where ar ;D u located?I see you go to Mass.For your care.I am in N.H....let me know if i am close enuf to help in any way.
cin
2cm removed retrosig 6/26/08
DartmouthHitchcock medical center lebanon,N.H.
43yrs old

NancyMc

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2009, 09:12:17 am »
Well!  I just quit whining about my life.  You make my life seem like a breeze, and a warm, summer one, not this cold wind that's blasting us.
I would love to take all of your animals for you.  I wish you could get the surgery behind you, because it will lift your spirits to be a postie.  Friends, family, extended family, neighbors?  I'm sure you've thought of all the alternatives, and you're probably like me, not wanting to ask for help unless it is life threatening.
I'm so sorry this landed in your lap.
You deserve a spa day.
Watch and Wait since 9/19/01
Increased from 1.1 x 1.9 to 1.9 x 1.9 cm as of 10/27/08
Right SSD, tinnitus, compensating balance
Dr. McKenna at Mass Eye and Ear and Dr. Barker at MGH
Translab April 8, 9 hours, 18 mm Tumor all gone SSD some facial weakness

Lynn Mc

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2009, 10:10:28 am »
Thanks everyone.  I really love you all.  Nancy, thought I should call Boston to make sure "Millie" did everything on her end.  Glad I did as she totally dropped the ball!!  All set now.  (she is out of the office again indefinitely).  I am going forward with a positive attitude although I feel like jello inside.  I do have some wonderful help.  One of the girls that grew up in my house offered to take family leave, she is a RN (she considers me her Mom).  My three daughters live in the MD, VA area.  They are all taking their turn coming up to help.  I don't think any of them realize that the biggest problem will be Don & my Dad!!!  I will be getting someone to take care of the horses until I am able again.  I was just thrown a zinger with Don's back!  Like the straw that broke the camels back.  My nerves are just shot.  Thank God for Ativan!!!

Thank you all.

Lynn
Translab 01/22/10.  12 x 11.7 x 8.2 mm.
Dr's McKenna/McCall at Mass Eye & Ear,
Dr. Barker at MGH. 
SSD - No other significant problems post surgery, just some minor inconveniences!  Yipee!!
BAHA implant 04/08/11 Dr. Merchant
BAHA Gotcha 07/25/11
"Life is Good"

NancyMc

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2009, 01:24:09 pm »
Hey, I have some Atavan that Mili got for me because she accidentally scheduled me for the tube o' gloom in stead of the bun o' fun, but I got it moved.  You want it?    ;D
Sounds like you have it all under control.  I'd say thank goodness for adrenalin, personally.  That's what I run on when there are no steroids available (See my post-op thread.).
Go for it.  Your husband can figure out how to fend for himself from a wheelchair.  It will be a great experience.  He can write a book.  I hope he's feeling okay, though, seriously.  You're lucky to have such a broad (no pun intended) support network.
Watch and Wait since 9/19/01
Increased from 1.1 x 1.9 to 1.9 x 1.9 cm as of 10/27/08
Right SSD, tinnitus, compensating balance
Dr. McKenna at Mass Eye and Ear and Dr. Barker at MGH
Translab April 8, 9 hours, 18 mm Tumor all gone SSD some facial weakness

4cm in Pacific Northwest

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2009, 01:28:14 pm »
Cyber HUGS to Lynn.

DHM
4cm Left, 08/22/07 R/S 11+ hr surgery Stanford U, Dr. Robert Jackler, Dr. Griffith Harsh, Canadian fellow Assist. Dr. Sumit Agrawal. SSD, 3/6 on HB facial scale, stick-on-eyeweight worked, 95% eye function@ 6 months. In neuromuscular facial retraining. Balance regained! Recent MRI -tumor receded!

Sue

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2009, 06:06:03 pm »
Lynn, you have every reason to run down the road, screaming, and ripping your clothes off.  Don't recommend it, but.....  Don't be hard on yourself.  You are only human, and it can be so overwhelming at times.  Find the article in the balance section about AN's affecting your balance system, and make your spouse read it.  It fully explains a lot of what is going on when the balance system is compromised.  There is a lot that goes with that "bump in your ear".  Has he SEEN the photos of the AN in the head???  Hello, spouse...wake up and smell the tumor, pal.

Hoping you get help and some relief from all of this,

Sue in Vancouver, USA
Sue in Vancouver, USA
 2 cm Left side
Diagnosed 3/13/06 GK 4-18-06
Gamma Knife Center of Oregon
My Blog, where you can read my story.


http://suecollins-blog.blogspot.com/2010/02/hello.html


The only good tumor be a dead tumor. Which it's becoming. Necrosis!
Poet Lorry-ate of Goode

stoneaxe

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2009, 08:38:55 pm »
Damn...I'd be whining and cheesing. I let a lot of things go when things were bad and I had all kinds of support around me. No reason to feel bad. Are you seeing the McKenna/Barker team? I relied on Helen in McKenna's office to get things arranged when Milli dropped the ball. I heard Milli was out as well..in her defense I heard she had a lot dumped on her when they let go some other staff.
Oh...tell your husband I've had both nerve issues in my back/neck (blew out a disk and lost all use of my left arm and was immobilized for 6 weeks...still aches to this day) and the AN....I'd take the nerve issues anyday.
Bob - Official Member of the Postie/Toasty Club
6mm AN treated with Proton Beam Radiosurgery in March 2004
at Mass General Hospital, Dr's Loeffler and Chapman
Cut the little bugger out the second time around in 2009..translab at MGH with Dr's McKenna and Barker.
http://www.capecodbaychallenge.org

Lynn Mc

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2009, 05:12:51 am »
Again Thanks to you all.  Don is going for another MRI tonight at 10PM & we will see the DR tomorrow.  Hopefully he has a game plan.

My support system is really gearing up.  I finally heard some of their plans.  At this point they have me (maybe it is actually the 2 old boys that live with me) covered for 5 weeks.  My daughter from MD (Vicki) is coming up & staying in Boston while I am there. My daughter in DC (Major Melissa USAF) will be coming to my house for 2 weeks starting while I am in Boston to take care of the old boys.  My daughter from VA (Buffy) just started a new job (Nurse Practitioner) & will be up for long weekends. The gal the grew up in my home, she is also my daughter (Crystal) has enough time accumulated at Bay State that she is willing to take family leave to help me out.  I really think if someone cares for the old boys it would be the best help for me.  They had all been planning this between them.

Thanks Again, I really do love you all.  This forum is great.  There is no one that can even begin to understand about this Loopy thing in my head.

For a real suprise my boss read that the WII Fit was good for balance & one is appearing on my desk  Monday!!!  Do you believe that!!!   Also I am starting Acupuncture & stretching exercises next week for my neck (It has a tendency to be real stiff on a good day).  I want it in the best shape it can be before surgery. 

Life Is Good

Lynn

Translab 01/22/10.  12 x 11.7 x 8.2 mm.
Dr's McKenna/McCall at Mass Eye & Ear,
Dr. Barker at MGH. 
SSD - No other significant problems post surgery, just some minor inconveniences!  Yipee!!
BAHA implant 04/08/11 Dr. Merchant
BAHA Gotcha 07/25/11
"Life is Good"

saralynn143

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2009, 06:21:43 am »
Lynn, that's wonderful! I'm so happy that everything is falling into place. Great news about the Wii Fit from your boss, too.

Take care.
Sara
MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
 46 - 11/25/08
 53 - 05/12/09
left side SSD approx. 4 weeks
 low-frequency hearing loss; 85% speech recognition 7/28/08
1.8 gram thin profile platinum eyelid weight 8/12/08
Fitted for scleral lens 5/9/13

CHD63

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Re: Sorry to crab
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2009, 07:41:51 am »
Lynn .....

So glad all the pieces are coming together so you can have the treatment you need ..... you deserve it!  Yeah for a supportive family ..... and boss, even!!

Best thoughts and prayers.

Clarice
Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

 


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