I am about to spin my life around 360 degrees and I need help. I have read some of the topics on depression here in the forum. I am MUCH in need of something. Over the last 8 months, I have gone from a girl with not a care in the world, to one who can't sleep and gets upset over the slightest thing. I have thoughts of packing and leaving on a bi-monthly basis. I have no idea where I will be going or how I will live. It is so unrealistic, but at the time I am thinking the thoughts, they are very real.
Either it is the change of life, or this new 6 cm x 4 cm additional pressure in my neck. All I know is I am going to ruin everything at the turn of a key and a tank of gas.
Two weeks ago, my doctor prescribed me sleeping pills that I take nightly to help me sleep ( i have never had these in my life!), and also clonazepam for when I get irrational (again, somthing new to my system). I took one today for the first time. Actually left my job half way through to get home to take one, as my mind had me packing and leaving my entire existence.
Has anyone else had these feelings? Just deep sadness. Feeling situtations are so unfair. Wanting to run away. (hell, I'm 43, I thought that happened at age 11 !)
I love my boyfriend more than anything. But I am so fast at throwing that away when my mind gets going. This only happens 2-3 times a month,, but that is wayyy toooo much.
I know I need help. If not, my city and life will be my past.
I am looking to find out that I am not the only one that has felt this. If I am, then I DO really need help in all aspects. I just wish I could pinpoint it to what's going on in my head, that way I kind of know I'm not going nuts.