Author Topic: Jokes-good for you  (Read 16371 times)

Larry

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #30 on: April 05, 2006, 04:39:36 am »
Me thinks Capt Deb and Raydean have both been flushed - call for those men in the white coats.

They're coming to take them away ha ha.

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Dr Chang St Vincents, Sydney
Australia. Regrowth discovered
Nov 2005. Watch and wait until 2010 when I had radiotherapy. 20% shrinkage and no change since - You beauty
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Gennysmom

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2006, 10:00:35 am »
Here's a good one for all you Pacific Northwesters, and an idea of our life if you don't live here:

YOU COULD BE FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST IF:

1. You know the state flower (Mildew).

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5 You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk"
signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted,
it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best,
and Veneto's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye
salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Yakima and
Stillaguamish.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai
food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the
dark-while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by
rain,"  and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of
mind.

19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see
through the cloud cover.

20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a prett y day and
you can actually see it.

21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but
still wear your hiking boots and parka.

22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the
socks on.

23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the
old ones after such a long time.

26. You measure distance in hours.

27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat

29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still
Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk Season
(Fall).

30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward
them.

3.1cm x 2.0cm x 2.1cm rt AN Translab 7/5/06
CSF leak 7/17/06 fixed by 8 day lumbar drain
Dr. Backous, Virgina Mason Seattle
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ppearl214

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2006, 12:19:00 pm »
*groans*

cute hun!

Hey, saw this on the ANA site for local meetings.. anyone here attend? I'd LOVE to hear about this one!

MO Kansas City, 4/15/06, The Role of Humor In Recovery
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

Raydean

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2006, 05:51:49 pm »
Hey Kathleen, 

Being Coastal  Washington I completely understand!!!!  Not wanting to leave anyone out I'll share
"Only in America"

Things Found Only In America   
 
  1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.   
 
 
     
 
 

 
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Raydean

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #34 on: May 10, 2006, 06:44:32 pm »
Since fishing season opened recently  Thought I'd share this one.

A hillbilly was stopped by a game warden in
> Arkansas recently with two ice chests of fish. He
> was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.
>
> The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a
> license to catch those fish?"
>
> "Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there
> licenses, no. You must understand these here are
> my pet fish." "Pet fish?" said the game
> warden. "Ya. Every night I take these here fish
> down to da lake and let them swim 'round for a
> while. Then I whistle and they jump rat
> back into this here ice chest and I take them home."
>
> "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
> says the warden
>
> The hillbilly looked at the game warden for a
> moment and then said, "It's the truth
> Mr.Government man, I'll show you. It really works."
>
> "Okay," said the game warden, " I've GOT to see this!"
>
> The hillbilly poured the fish into the lake and
> stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden
> turned to him and said, "Well?"
> "Well, what?" said the hillbilly.
> The warden said, "When are you going to call them back?"
> The hillbilly said, "Call who back?"
> "The FISH!" replied the warden.
> "What fish?" answered the hillbilly.
>
> We in Arkansas may not be as smart as some city
> slickers, but we aren't as dumb as most government employees!
>
>
>


Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Road Trip Dale

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Re: Jokes-good for you
« Reply #35 on: May 12, 2006, 08:15:35 am »
Hey Phyl...

Actually I DID attend the Kansas City symposium (there were 8 of us) where the topic was "Humor in Recovery".  The speaker was okay, a man from the Sprint Corp Training Center (Sprint University), however, he never really talked about humor in recovery.  He did talk about what personal traits one should take into any surgery to help ensure a positive outcome.  I was a little disappointed BUT my purpose in being there was to meet other ANers before I went into surgery.  I came away with a real warm and fuzzy, especially from Dave Kellogg, who is the KC ANA chairman, who had a very positive outcome.  I can now say that I also fall into that category.

Still anticipating my clam chowda!

Road Trip Dale
1.75 AN Right Side
Translab 4/16/06
Dr. Charles Leutje and Dr. Paul Camarata
St Luke's, Kansas City, MO