It's been another 6 weeks since my first post in this thread and just wanted to give an update -
I'm still not back to work. Though the surgeon thought I could go back anytime after Nov 6th (after seeing me for 5 minutes), my PT (who I've seen 2-3x/wk since surgery) thought it best to wait until Nov 22nd, when my short-term disability ran out anyway. She recommended starting with reduced hour shifts and working up to full-time.
I went back to work on Nov 23rd and got approved by employee health (they just sign a paper saying you're good to go, don't take vital signs or do an exam or anything) and talked to my manager, who was happy to accommodate part-time status. Then, on Nov 24th, I had my Executive Functioning Test with a SLP, and she said "Is there anyway you can postpone your return to work until we're done testing?" The formalized testing ended up okay I guess, but there were some sheets that my husband, my mom, and I were supposed to fill out, and my PT talked to my SLP as well, and between all that stuff it showed issues with memory, attention, and multi-tasking. Kind of important things for nurses.
I also started seeing a therapist who is working with me on my depression. At this point I'm having a rough time taking care of myself some days, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take care of patients. Whether this is all AN related or just my own long-standing craziness gone worse, I don't know. Probably both.
Anyway, at this point I can't go back to work without a dr's note saying I can, but I haven't had disability pmt for the last month because I don't have a dr's note to be out, either. I thought my SLP was taking care of talking with the surgeon and all, since she was the one who said to stay out longer, but the short term disability people called me yesterday and said the surgeon "won't approve anymore time off". I haven't been able to get in touch with my SLP (was out since tuesday and had a sub in for therapy). My regular therapist said if the SLP started a statement of recommendation regarding work, she would add to it with support from a mental standpoint.
So, I'm stuck in a limbo land where I'm not sure what to do.
I'm just trying to follow everyone's directions but yet I feel like I'm being made into some sort of liar! It's not like I like having zero income for my family, and it's not like disability pays that
much anyway. I mean hello, we're not having parties over here to celebrate no working or something.
As far as my own personal readiness - I don't even know anymore. I'm 'chalenging' myself with holiday baking, and frequently find myself standing in the middle of the kitchen - flour and dishes everywhere and the oven alarm beeping, not 100% sure what to do. But I haven't burned anything yet so that's good!
I scheduled an appointment with my primary care so she can give me a note one way or the other. I feel sorry for her because it's been a couple years since I've been in for a physical (they had my charts under my maiden name and I've been married 4.5 years) - won't this all be a surprise!
Thanks for letting me vent/whine some more. This has all been such drama.