I am 90% sure of what I am going to do.
I am weighing heavily towards cyberknife. Here I am once again, up at 4:40 am because I cannot sleep. I am sure we all do it,, lay there and have thoughts bombard our heads so we can't sleep.
I was at first wanting this thing OUT!!! Could not think of having it left in me. Then, I see SO MANY negative repercussions to surgery with the size of tumour I have and the placement it's in (on the 10th cranial nerve and surrounded by the 9th-12th nerves)... that I'm thinking, cyberknife instead.
The final factor was when someone I know said, "heck, people have pins in their knees, plates in their shoulders" ... and I got thinking... yeahhhh,, that's true. Then a vagal schwannoma acquaintance of mine said, cyberknife is the way to go.. it just stops growing.
So there I have it,, it's left in me, but it stops growing. I have SO FEW symptoms now that if I can get it to stop growing, it just has a permanent home in my neck.... I think I can live with that.
I did have Dr. Fukushima say he may be able to help me after a consult with him.... but even then, it's still surgery.
I am also VERY ASHAMED with Canada!!!! The States has mega amounts of cyberknife locations.. even for animal hospitals!! Canada has.. ONE. Just recently located in Quebec, and I did call it last month. Do you think I could get someone to speak English to me??? I tried calling 4 different times! I definitely feel better about coming to the States for my treatments.
One more thing... I don't ask for sympathy, infact I never bring anything up unless someone asks me about it. I actually had someone say to me.."too bad we can't see anything because it's hard to believe you are sick"... no not a friend, just a client of mine. Infact, I don't feel sick so I guess they're kinda right.
Ok,, I AM tired,,, gonna try to fall asleep AGAIN for the 20th time.
Thanks for listening.... (reading)
Rhonda