Author Topic: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly  (Read 6980 times)

dalern

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Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« on: August 08, 2010, 11:55:09 pm »
I am so glad my processor will be attached at the end of September.  I am out of town right now and was invited to a dinner party last night.  There were only 6 people present, I knew 4 of them.  It was NOT noisy.  One of the people I did not know introduced himself to me.  I said, "Glad to meet you, John".  We continued to talk and my host asked if I had met everyone.  I told him that I had just met John.  As the evening went on, I realized that everyone else was calling John by the name of Doug.  I was mortified.  I had been calling him John all evening.  John and Doug don't even sound the same....no similarity.  It just makes me so aware of the difficulty in having SSD.  I truly hope that after my "gotcha day" this problem will be far less noticeable and that I will have far better word discrimination.  It makes me so nervousl
~Dale
Dale Barnes, RN, MSN, CLNC
Tarzana, CA
1998 Sudden Onset Idiopathic Sensorineural  hearing loss diagnosed at House Ear Institute, Los Angeles
BAHA June 30, 2010 Dr. Jeffrey Harris UCSD San Diego

leapyrtwins

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 12:22:44 am »
Dale -

you will definitely be able to avoid this problem - and many others - once you get to start wearing your processor.

Jan
Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
Left AN 3.0 cm (1.5 cm @ diagnosis 6 wks prior) SSD. BAHA implant 3/4/08 (Dr. Battista) Divino 6/4/08  BP100 4/2010 BAHA 5 8/2015

I don't actually "make" trouble..just kind of attract it, fine tune it, and apply it in new and exciting ways

Sam Rush

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2010, 12:16:03 pm »
It seems rude of them not to correct you that John was Doug.
1 cm AN translab, Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Schwartz, Dr Doherety HEI   11/04   Baha 7/05

Jim Scott

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2010, 02:50:37 pm »
Dale ~

I've been SSD for over 5 years and completely understand your frustration with hearing difficulties.  I've opted not to go the BAHA route for a number of reasons but that could change some fine day.  However, I've learned (the hard way) that, in some situations, I  just need to tell a person that I'm deaf in one ear and ask them to repeat - or simply turn my 'good' ear toward them to pick up their name or whatever.  Granted, it's an acquired 'skill'. Some acquaintances now ask me "is this your good ear?" and make a point to speak to me on my right (hearing) side.  

Because you're awaiting the processor for your BAHA, these kinds of incidents will soon be history for you.  I know the BAHA isn't a panacea but it does seem to alleviate a lot of the stress involved in being SSD.  I believe I cope very well with my hearing loss but for many, that isn't sufficient and so, the BAHA is there to help - and it does.  Hang in there.

Jim
« Last Edit: August 09, 2010, 05:45:32 pm by Jim Scott »
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

sunfish

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2010, 04:54:55 pm »
I have one "bad" ear.  After CK, my docs say my hearing in that ear actually tests better than before, but you couldn't prove it by me.  Seems like my speech discrimination is just as bad/worse than ever.  I've only been aware of this for a year, and wear a hearing aid, but I've had all sorts of hearing impairment related incidents - embarrassing, funny, confusing, disorienting, frustrating.

Will be interested to hear how BAHA works for you.  Hope I never need one but, realistically, it may be in my future what with the AN and otosclerosis (conductive loss) on top!
Rt. side 14mm x 11mm near brain stem
Severe higher frequency hearing loss
I use a hearing aid (Dot 20 by Resound)
Balance issues improving!!!!
Cyberknife March17, 2010
Roper Hospital Cancer Center, Charleston, SC

dalern

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2010, 05:17:43 pm »
Thank you all.  I knew this group would understand! :D

If I THINK I am not hearing something correctly, I definitely will ask to have them repeat, and Jim, I am ALWAYS turning the left side of my head towards people so I can hear them.  This time, with the situation the other night, I THOUGHT I had heard correctly!
~Dale
Dale Barnes, RN, MSN, CLNC
Tarzana, CA
1998 Sudden Onset Idiopathic Sensorineural  hearing loss diagnosed at House Ear Institute, Los Angeles
BAHA June 30, 2010 Dr. Jeffrey Harris UCSD San Diego

iluuvpups

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2010, 06:32:09 pm »
Hey Dale.  I am SSD post translab surgery and have trouble hearing things clearly all the time.  Sometimes I just smile and nod as if I heard what was being said.  Other times, I have to say "what" repeatedly.  And I've found that I too have mis-heard what was said.  So what can you do?  I try not to be too embarrassed because this is who I am now.  Yes, it's frustrating, but it's also a fact of life that many people lose their hearing as they age, let alone have a problem like this.  I just hope that others are understanding and patient.
Original 1.75cm left-side AN diagnosed Feb 2010
Translab surgery May 27, 2010 with Drs. Kartush and Pieper of MEI
SSD on left side, some facial weakness, tear duct doesn't work
Found I actually had a facial neuroma during translab
Remaining 6mm facial neuroma - watch and wait

lori67

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2010, 07:51:09 pm »
Dale,

Don't feel too bad...I do it all the time, even before I was SSD.  I'm just bad with names!  At least now I have an excuse!   :D

Lori
Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

CHD63

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2010, 08:18:45 am »
Lori .....

I was thinking the same thing!  Even before the AN (and accompanying hearing loss), I tried to always repeat a person's name out loud when being introduced.  Now I am doubly sure to say it back so the individual can correct me if I heard it wrong, plus it reinforces my remembrance of the name.

Like Jim, I often tell a new person up front that I am hearing challenged on the left.  By doing that, I avoid potential misunderstandings and feeling "stupid."

Best thoughts.

Clarice
Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

opp2

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2010, 08:31:21 am »
I did that with the first nurse I met after my surgery. I was sure he said his name was Chris. All day I called him Chris, and introduced him to my family as Chris. He corrected it when I did introduce him. For the rest of my stay I called him 'Terrynotchris'.
Thing was he didn't find it very funny. I sure did, but then I was on morphine at the time.
Diagn Apr 14 2009 with 2.5 cm lt AN. - numbness in the face and sudden onset headaches accompanied by balance issues. Consults with Drs in S Ontario, California (House) and Vancouver. Picked Dr. Akagami in BC.
Retrosigmoid July 6, 2010, 3.0cm by then. SSD left, no other significant side effects.

dalern

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2010, 03:50:21 pm »
You guys are all great, and it is just nice knowing I am not alone!
~Dale
Dale Barnes, RN, MSN, CLNC
Tarzana, CA
1998 Sudden Onset Idiopathic Sensorineural  hearing loss diagnosed at House Ear Institute, Los Angeles
BAHA June 30, 2010 Dr. Jeffrey Harris UCSD San Diego

hjb4971

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2010, 11:28:52 pm »
I actually had a sales clerk in Mennards ask me if I was stupid or just incredibly rude for not answering him because he came up on my left side out of my site-line.  After I got over the embarrassment I was pretty mad.  Once I received my Ponto I couldn't wait to go back to noisy stores to see how well I would do. I did have to change to my second program (that is set up for noisy spots) but could hear my bride when she talked to me from the left side.  Hopefully now no-one will ask me if I'm rude unless I actually am.

 
SSD left side since February 2010. Baha surgery May, fitted with Ponto July.

saralynn143

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2010, 06:26:37 am »
I actually had a sales clerk in Mennards ask me if I was stupid or just incredibly rude for not answering him because he came up on my left side out of my site-line. 

Wow. I think the clerk proved he was both. I hope you spoke to customer service about the incident.

Sara
MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
 46 - 11/25/08
 53 - 05/12/09
left side SSD approx. 4 weeks
 low-frequency hearing loss; 85% speech recognition 7/28/08
1.8 gram thin profile platinum eyelid weight 8/12/08
Fitted for scleral lens 5/9/13

hjb4971

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Re: Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2010, 12:50:20 pm »
Thanks, but no I didn't, I quickly realized how disabled I had become, and made up my mind to find a solution.   
Remember the original ROCKY movie? When Rocky was getting soundly beaten up someone at ringside asked his manager (Burgess Meredith) why he didn't stop the fight and the manager said "cause he's getting mad, and when he's mad, he's dangerous....this fight is just about to turn around."

That experience gave me the impetus to seek out a solution to my fight to hear, which in my case was a baha implant. Now I'm trying to maximize its benefits. 
SSD left side since February 2010. Baha surgery May, fitted with Ponto July.