Decision for surgery

[msmaggie]

Thanks so much Donnalynn!
I am praying and trying to listen.  The "be still and know that I am God" part is hard for me sometimes

Mags

[MAlegant]

Hi Ms. Maggie,
Sorry it took me this long to get into this thread.  Believe it or not, the worse part of this entire experience for me, was the decision making process and then the waiting.  I figured once surgery was over I would fight my way back to regain control of my life.  I have done that and you will as well. 

Positive visualization worked wonders for me--you might want to try that.  Imagine that it's over (do this many times) and that the doctor says "everything is fine, you did great".  I did some version of this every night before falling asleep.  Between that and the numerous prayers and good thoughts that were coming my way, I felt extremely calm the day of surgery.  Many people have remarked on having that feeling as well. 

So, put your faith in God and your trust in your surgeons and all will be as it should be.
Marci

[msmaggie]

Hi Marci,

Thanks for your input.  As I mentioned earlier, the storm here in Houston has done me a huge favor because all the messages and sermons in my church have been about reshaping our lives after storms have hit.  I see that God is giving me a chance to re-evaluate what is truly important and what is not.  Important is  knowing that this is a benign condition and I will be able to hold my grandbabies when I am blessed with them.. Important is having the support of old and new friends, new as in all of you!  Important is knowing that I am in the hands of a God who has plans for me after this is done, plans to use and bless me.  I have to admit that for a while, I felt like an unwilling participant in some strange version of Extreme Makover!  Now I coming to be at peace with the new me that God is shaping through this process.  I still have days when I squall and bawl. mind you . 

Unimportant things?  Worry.  I have a saying on my desk that says something to the effect that all worry does is rob today of its joy.  So I am trying to let go of that. Schedules are next.  As a teacher, my lesson plans are on my desk every day.  I always have a plan , and then a backup plan.  I am learning that I don't get to decide everything. Some things happen when they are meant to happen.

I have mostly decided not to go to HEI, mainly because Barrow is closer, and my roommate for 5 years after college lives there.  My family can stay with her during the procedure and hospital stay. My doctors would be Spetzler and Weisskopf, and they are on the ANUSA list.  I haven't ruled out Houston w/Vrabec and Trask.  I had a really good visit with Dr. Vrabec last week, and it would give me a huge support system because all my local friends could help me out.  I am in the process of seeing which schedules with the two clinics work best for me.

I am almost there!  I feel so much better now that it is down to this. I have been asking trusted friends to pray for me in making the decision about where to go for surgery, and I will ask all of you, too.  I am starting to notice some little balance issues, a little lightheadedness and disorientation that wasn't there before, so I feel good about going ahead with a December date.

Thanks to all!  I feel a little like a two year old who has pitched a hissy fit and now is ready to listen to reason .  Now all I need is my blankie and a nap to make me all better.

Mags

PS...I hope to be in Chicago for the symposium!  Can't wait to match names with faces.

[Kate B]

Maggie,

Whew..it's been a whirlwind for you.  I am certain that most of us threw pity parties at some point.

To me making the decision was biggest decision.  

You are considering top notch facilities for surgery.  I personally had mine done at House. It was one time I wanted to be the "typical" person--in other words "another" AN surgery with doctors who operated regularly each week on the dang things.
Although not for everyone, I looked at the short term inconvenience of being away from home with the best possible long term outcome. My tumor and hearing level made me a candidate for middle fossa. Although docs in my area were great, back in 2001 their experience level was greatest with retrosigmoid.

Keep us posted,
Kate

[MAlegant]

Hi there,
BTW, my doctor trained at Barrow; supposed to be a great place.  Sounds like no matter what you do, you will have the finest care.  As an ex-teacher (I went over to the administrative dark side) I can remember when neither the lesson plan or the back up plan worked and then I had to improvise.   

And yes, Chicago should be fun.
Best,
Marci

[msmaggie]

Trust me Marci, I can "wing it" with the best of them!  As a postie, maybe I can out that skill to good use   Let me know how it is working for you.

Mags

[MAlegant]

Very funny.  No, I'm still as impatient as ever, although I think Cheri has me beat.  I've always been good at shifting gears; that what you get when you move around a lot as a kid, one of the few perks.  So, yes, I can definitely improvise. 
Keep the spirit.
M

[msmaggie]

Maybe that's why I'm good at it.  My dad was in the Air force and I married a project engineer.  Never thought I could put shifting gears to such good use, but my post op lifestyle may require it. 

Mags