Hi Hija and welcome. Where are you located outside the USA?
Expressing is ALWAYS therapeutic and I commend you for reaching out here to help, possibly, understand what your Mom is enduring. I am sorry to read about your dad.
Please know the goal of radiation treatment on AN's is not to shrink AN's, although it can happen (some, like myself, have seen shrinkage, some have not. The goal is to stop further growth from its current size.) Since your mom is approx 3 yrs post radiation, there may be some enhanced issues, such as you note, that may or may not occur. Sometimes, drs prescribe anti-inflammatories (either over the counter or prescription steroids - short term use) to help get a handle on these issues. I can report that, even though I am 5 years post radiation, I have also had issues crop up from time to time this far past radation and have kept my drs updated in case they need to jump in to help.
As a caregiver too for my dad, I can well understand when we see our loved ones endure issues that we tend to feel helpless. We try to encourage, we try to research and share the info, we try so much to do all that we can to be there in all aspects to show our love and support. In my case, stubborness is shown my way and regardless of how stubborn he can be, I try to share or comfort or share info/advise.... and its a difficult situation when you feel you are doing right for them and they can push away. I just keep telling my dad how much I love him and can only hope that what I share helps.
As an AN'er, many learn to accept the "new normal". Issues that may continue to plague us over time become the "new norm" and we try to learn to adjust to it as now part of our daily lives. Some can learn to deal with it and some don't. But, with continued support with family and friends... and here on the forums, we try to hang tough as best as we can.
Please let your mom know that we are here to help if she wants it... and even if she doesn't. Your participation here, as a caregiver, is so very important as well. The ANA does have info on their home page for caregivers and hope that you take the opportunity to read some of the info. We look out for caregivers as well as you all are SO very important in our AN journeys.
Hang tough. Sorry this is long-winded. I had coffee this am
Again, welcome.
Phyl