How do I keep from crying???

[Shrnwldr]

Sam
I feel the same way as you. While I am still having some problems wrapping my head around this tumor thingie I have always been healthy.  No high blood pressure NO heart disease No nothing zip nada.  I think that is why I take this tumor so hard....  I can't imagine being this healthy and having that booger growing inside my head!  When I first learned and went online to do research I was devastated until I found this site!!!!  I know have more knowledge about what to expect post-op and have made a game plan accordingly.  I have absolutely no plan to discontinue my life as it is.  Of course there are the "normal" fears but all in all I just feel that with a strong plan for recovery that there isn't too much that go wrong.  My whole opinion is that prior to treatment it is YOUR choice, the surgery itself you leave in the competent hands of your team of doctors, the post-op recovery is YOUR choice also. 

Good luck  I know that you will come through this with flying colors. 

[Sue]

Hi Jackie,

I was busy this weekend and didn't see your post until today.  I am in Vancouver and I had GK at Providence last April.  If you ever want to call me to talk, please do.  Collins30038@aol.com   I can give you my phone number if you contact me.  There is a support group at St. Vincent's, but I haven't been to one of the meetings yet. There was one this last Saturday that I would have gone too, but we had company.


Sue in Vancouver

[sue777]

Hi JackieI  remember feeling exactly like yolu a few years ago, when I learned about my unwelcome friend, deep in my ear!

I was in total shock when I was first told about this AN, and did not even know who to turn to for help. This board is just priceless for info and for encouragement.

I was SO scared! I felt like I had SO much to learn, to be able to make a decision that was best for my particular situation.
The ENT that found it ONLY mentioned surgery, didn't even mention any type of radiation surgery. I had to learn everything by myself. This seems to happen more often than it should with AN patients.

I was lucky to be put in touch with Dr. John Breneman, in a suburb of Cincinnati, Ohio, a radiation oncologist.
I went in for 28 seesions of FSR and was treated like a queen.

That was a few years ago, 3 MRI's ago, and I'm happy to report that not only has my balance been restored to normal,  no facial paralysis, no adverse symptoms of any kind, in fact.

And I just had my 3rd MRI, and Dr. Breneman told me that it showed that the AN has grown much smaller.  It is no longer pressing on my brain stem.
I have felt well, even during the month of radiation treatments.
Dr. Breneman is a wonderful doctor who is not only compassionate, but very skilled at AN's, as well. I would recommend him to anyone. He also does the Gamma, so you don't have to go every day like I did. I only live an hour and a half away in Indiana, so I opted for the FSR.

I wish peace and lots of good information to come to your attention, and the very best.
For me, I know it was the best decision I could make for myself. and I have no regrets.
You have come to the right place.

God Bless
Sue

[sue777]

Hi again, Jackie
I forgot to mention that my AN was 2.7, if that helps.
Sue

[kss4luck]

Hi Jackie,
Go ahead and cry, When I first found out I had a mini meltdown. Since I work full time and go to school full time my Dr recommended I take 2 weeks off work and she put me on Xanax (.25 mg). She said it is normal for us to grieve our good health and said to keep a journal of some of my fears and prayers. I dropped out of school until after my surgery and my work is being very supportive. My dr recommended I look for this group and I really am glad I found such an understanding bunch of coherts. Your home honey and we all understand how you feel.

[Kathleen_Mc]

Jackie: Do not "keep from crying", let it go.....you'll be better off in the long run if you just let whatever your feeling now "hang out".
Kathleen

[er]

Hi Jackie
Have you had surgery yet or when is it?
I am from Oregon myself and I was sent to Oregon Health Science University,
Awesome place! Everyone was so special ,but mine was on the left side and I had no pain what so ever. Doctor
Sean Mc Menomey MD did mine
Physicians Pavilion Suite 250 OHSU
 er

[johnsli]

Jackie,

That's my daughter and my mother in law's name.   You have made the first step.  I was just diagnosed on Tuesday.  Go ahead and cry.   This forum is awsome.  You need to talk to people to help you through this.  I am in my beginning stages, and have not yet stopped crying.  I have had many responses, even an email and phone number.  It is soooo helpful to talk to someone in the same situation.  My tumor is 3 cm, and truthfully I am scared, but, with a support group like this and lots of love, support and prayer, we will all get through this.

Laura

[Betsy]

Hi Jackie, it's been awhile since this post was active but I wanted to add my comments too, especially about the crying part.  Just when you think you're done crying and can focus on something, it starts up all over again.  I've gone through at least two boxes of tissues in the last two weeks since I got my diagnosis.  What finally helped me was to give in to it and get it all out.  I'm talking wailing, thrashing about, laying on the floor and kicking, that kind of thing.  Followed up by a big slug of bourbon, of course.  It was a real turning point for me and I find I can concentrate on my research better.  Oh, I still get teared up but it's no longer because there's something in my head that doesn't belong there.  I've been through therapy before and I just don't have the patience to talk it out, sometimes it's easier to give in to what the body wants to do.  In my case, it was throwing a tantrum!  Your dx came in February...how are you doing now?

[kkweiher]

Hi Jackie!!!!

 I know exactly what you 're going through but it does get better.  Wanting to cry and feeling a little sorry for yourself is normal.  When my other half gave me crap about the feeling sorry for myself part he was informed by my Dr. that I was entitled to feel this way. He said this kind of thing has taken down many of men alot stronger than he was and that it will pass (my guy has not said anything like that since). Sometimes I thought he should be the one taking some of my Prozac......They put me on 20 mg a day and it helped with the crying spells.

 My AN was diagnosed 12-20-06 and I did all my research and had several dr. opinions, the size was like 1.5 x 2.6 x 2.7, something like that, it was on my left side and I too had diminished hearing. However, my balance was not off like the drs. were expecting it to be. The tumor had pretty much gotten all my balance nerve by the time it was detected.  I am 43yrs old and my state of mind was get this thing out of my head so I can get on with my life.  So, I had it removed translab on 3-16-07.

I had complete faith in my doctors and never really contemplated anything going wrong (I was most freaked out about being under for such a long time during the surgery, mine was 10hrs), my surgery went good, they were able to remove almost all of the tumor.  Mine was pushing on the brain stem so to prevent facial problems my doc left a little.  Afterwards the only really bothersome thing I can remember was being very thirsty.  I don't even recall any pain at all.  The first couple of weeks I walked as though I had been overserved(too much to drink) and I was able to go back to work pt-time within 3 weeks and by week 4 I was back full-time.

I am a new accts rep for a bank and also the asst cashier.  When I get tired I still tend to stumble every now and then but besides that I feel I am doing great!!!!! People that did n't know about my surgery can't even tell I had it.  My hair was really long, now its short and a little thinner on my AN side but you can't even see the incision. The only side effects still left are some numbness on the top left of my tongue (my AN was on the left) and some slight tingling on my left hand.  Right after surgery my left arm was numb and my hand did n't work real good, but it is all much better. On the first post-op appt with my doctor he could n't believe I was walking in on my own.

I truly believe it is all in your attitude.  I was determined to be positive.  Not only for myself but for my loved ones that were taking care of me.  Like everyone said you have time to weigh your options just as I did, but patience was not my best attribute(still is n't) but getting better.  I looked at the different options but for me I just wanted it out!!!!  Good luck with your decision and this site is a real Godsend for all of us.  I can't even begin to tell you how much all the info here helped me...

[er]

Hello Jackie.

I just noticed this topic. I am also from Oregon and I was sent to   
 Sean Mc Menomey MD
 Physicians Pavillion Suite 250 OHSU
 He is the Doctor that removed the Cerebellum brain tumor and the effects after wards, so I see him ...
Treatment received: follow-ups and MRI's, Hearing test
3181 SW Sam Jackson Pa
Portland, OR 97239
 He mentioned he had done thousand, he laid out and explained everything, so when I left him I felt very positive and not afraid.

Carl Schreiner S. DMD at Mercy Hospital found my AN. My surgery was March 28, 2005.
eve
PS good luck
I am willing to talk if you would like to call me......