Mourning your good health when it disappears

[Shrnwldr]

I just finished the article on the link.  It was good.  It is amazing I have been trying to put my finger on how I  do feel about all this.  Is it scariness?  Is it anger?  It seems that it is the fact that I know that this is a life altering experience.  I am a 57 year old female and short of slightly high cholesterol reading and overweight I was healthy. No high blood pressure. No heart problems. My deteriorating hearing and equilibrium I have adjusted.  Now I am not sure what the future is going to be like  I just know that when I wake up from surgery I will be a different person.  Same but different.  I have givens... like one sided hearing and unsteady equilibrium which in themselves will be challenges to overcome.  But what about the possible "other" challenges.  There severity are questionable or unknown.  I believe that God gives you only what He knows you can handle, but can I handle the unknown challenges that lay before me?  Will I be able to overcome these?  I don't know  I just know that I will be different.

[ppearl214]

thanks all for sharing what you have.... great insight into how we all have and are dealing with this situation.. and hoping that the AN newbies can take away something from this with a positive light.  You all rawk!

xo
Phyl

[Chambo]

Hi all,

I found this interesting and wanted to share it all with you.  It really points out that regardless of what life-altering diagnosis can be given, we all must mourn our good health when it leaves us.....

Kelley Tuthill is a well-known tv news reporter with the local ABC affiliate here in Boston. Days before Christmas, 2006, she was diagnosed, at the age of 36, with Stage III breast cancer.  She has 2 daughters, one under the age of 1.  She has lived a wonderful life and like many of us, was completely caught off-guard with her breast cancer diagnosis.

Kelley has been keeping a written and video "diary" of her progress. She has an extremely difficult road ahead of her and many in the local viewing area (as well as afar) have been cheering her on.

In reading her most recent diary update, she speaks of mourning our good health.  Yes, we try to put on a good front and keep our chin up.... and we also tell each other it's ok to have the bad days as well.... and she really touches this point in her diary entry. She also notes how Anne Romney (wife of Presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney) did the same with her M.S. diagnosis.

I share this diary entry with you now (if you want to read more of Kelley's diary entries, just click the top link to "Health"... you'll see it there) in hopes that AN newbies willl see that there is a mourning process we must go through when we are given a life-altering diagnosis. We are truly fortunate that AN's are not malignant and as for what Kelley is enduring, we can only hope that she does well for the year that lays ahead for her.  I hope you all find the inspiration in her words as I have... and reminding myself that yes, even though we have this AN diagnosis, we can surely mourn the loss of our good health... it just comes with the territory.  Please remember that life does go on with an AN diagnosis... and although we may need to be monitored for the rest of our lives, we can still thrive... as I hope Kelley does as well. Her road is going to be a tough one.....

Here is the link to Kelley's recent diary entry.  Thank you for letting me share it with you.

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/health/11114790/detail.html


Phyl

I actually view life pre-surgery with a tumor pushing hard against my brainstem as "poor health" so I choose to say good riddance to poor health rather than mourn a time of lethargy, pressure head aches, poor balance, blood noses, etc.

I consider a head without a tumor to be "good health" and I definitely aint gonna mourn the days I thought i had chronic fatigue...!

[pearchica]

Hey Phyl and Jim: as always you and the rest of the gang impress me with your passion and insights.  I can tell you from my CK experience, I was surrounded each day by the "real patients" the cancer gang. It was always sobering and it made me grateful how lucky I was to have a benign tumor that I could have treated with radiation.  Having said that, I know so many of our gang have real quality of life issues and yet, you all still manage to make it a go and make the choice to look at life as a cup 1/2 full. It really is inspiring and humbling.  Although I have had no real issues, I have experienced a death of sorts.  I have made up my mind that I'm simply not going to put up with trivial things that used to bother me before. (Having said that, I did struggle with it today, but at least I recognized the pattern!).  I'm also not going to be surrounded by sad sacks who have everything going for them when I now know so many heros via this website.  So if you are whiner for no reason, consider yourself written out of my script of life! I guess that is a death of sorts ( or is it a rebirth- I leave it to the theologians to figure out).  Thanks everyone for some good observations.  Take care, Annie

[RED in Palacios]

As one of those newbies you all expressed concern about, I can assure you all that the original post and the materials referred to are encouraging to me at least.  All of the additional commenmtary that followed was greatly appreciated as well.  I am a "wait and watch" patient and so far have not confused that approach with the sit and die philosophy.  Yes there are times when the frustration of my loss is painful beyond words but I can deal with the frustration much better having the insights that are shared daily on this site.  So far, I have been able to continue my teaching career without interruption.  I have to accomodate certain situations in my lab but that is no big deal considering how miserable I'd be just sitting somewhere.  I have also been able to continue singing with the barbershop chorus that I have been a part of for several years now.  Yes, since I have no hearing on my left side, the group has graciously allowed me to find the spot on the risers that is most "comfortable" for me.   Like so many of you, I realize that my situation is not unique to me and I also refuse to be defined by that thing invading my brain.  Yes, it can be so much worse but as I look ahead each day, I am thankful that I am so blessed and that things are so good for me!  The AN, while depriving me of part of my hearing has been the catalyst for personal growth in so many ways that I simply can't describe without completely monoploizing the site.  My thanks to all of you for helping me grow.

Richard

[lmurray69]

Pearl,Thank you for shareing Kellys storie, It really hits home as you know. I have met quit a few here in Missouir that has had a AN radiation and fould out later they had breast cancer.I dont know if there is a connection or not. I know there is several types, Mine fed on protien..in the limp glands. they are all differant.. I want us all to see this and have your breast checked, The Men too . If you are not aware Men can get it to.. so dont laugh..Mri's Help,,,Mine was caught earily

[kate]

Hi Phyl and all,

I am glad to see Phyl's post starting this thread, and all resulting discussion on it. I wish this type of discussion was going on when I was  a newbie in 2000. As a psychotherapist, I strongly believe in the need to mourn what is lost, while also moving forward to an adjusted life, and finding things to be grateful for. When I was active on the listserve here a few years back, it was not divided into forum topics like it is now. Each visit pretty much required reading through a lot of posts, with topics "all over the map". Even though, it was a real blessing to be able to come in and connect with others coping with similar issues.     Kate