Author Topic: Post-op blues  (Read 8525 times)

DLM4me

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #45 on: May 19, 2009, 01:29:09 pm »
Kate, wow, 5 weeks?  I'm just past that now and am nowhere near ready to drive.   But, yes, I know we all recover differently.  If I can drive a month from now I'll be thrilled, and I'm setting that as something of a goal.  Naturally it's up to my body, but at least it gives me something to shoot for.

Ironically, my car's registration renewal arrived from the DMV right before I went into the hospital; this is the year that I have to get a smog check done. Well, I set it aside and INTENDED to ask one of my visiting relatives/friends--all of whom can drive stick shifts--to take the car in for its smog check so I could renew its registration. Can you guess where this is going?  Yep, I completely forgot about it until the last of my houseguests had left.  The only relative I have here who knows how to drive a stick shift is...you guessed it!...my sister, and I'm not about to ask her to take it in.  So I went ahead and paid the renewal fees online the other day so at least I'll avoid late charges/penalties.  But with my luck I'll get stopped ON MY WAY to get the smog check on the first day I'm able to drive again.  And this isn't just wild speculation, either!  Some years ago when I was living in Texas my inspection sticker expired on May 31--but I hadn't realized it.  On June 1st I was half a mile from home and I got a ticket for an expired sticker.  Really.

Sue, I'm blessed to have a number of people who truly care about me--unfortunately, most of them are currently living thousands of miles away.  Five of them (well, 4-1/2...my 15-month-old grandson was one of them!) came to take care of me--they planned their trips so there'd be continuous coverage for five weeks post-op.  I can't even describe how hard it was when the last of them left. :(  As for my sister, she's acting like a spoiled brat...which actually describes her quite well.  But even though I've always known she's a spoiled brat this latest nonsense still amazes me.


Middle fossa craniotomy 04/08/09, Drs Brackmann, Schwartz, et al, St Vincent/HEI in Los Angeles.

Kaybo

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #46 on: May 19, 2009, 01:51:38 pm »
DLM4me~
Did you just get stopped or actually get a ticket?  If you did get a ticket, they dropped it once you showed them the paperwork, tight?  I have lived in Texas all my life, as have my parents and that is one of the first things my Daddy taught me was that you need to get it done, but if you forget, it is OK because you have a 1 week grace period.  I did believe him, but had to see it firsthand a couple of years ago!!   ;)

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DLM4me

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #47 on: May 19, 2009, 02:51:54 pm »
No, I got a ticket.  And I specifically asked if there was a grace period, seeing as how it was less than 24 hours since it had expired.  I was told no.  So I paid it--at least it wasn't a moving violation so I really didn't care too much--and basically forgot about it.  Except in situations like this!


Middle fossa craniotomy 04/08/09, Drs Brackmann, Schwartz, et al, St Vincent/HEI in Los Angeles.

Crazycat

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #48 on: May 19, 2009, 09:39:50 pm »
DLM,

  Don't let her get you too wound-up. Does she have a computer? Copy a link to this thread and e-mail it to her! That should give her something to mull over for a while!
5cm x 5cm left-side A.N. partially removed via Middle Fossa 9/21/2005 @ Mass General. 
Compounded by hydrocephalus. Shunt installed 8/10/2005.
Dr. Fred Barker - Neurosurgeon and Dr. Michael McKenna - Neurotologist.

moe

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #49 on: May 21, 2009, 11:37:11 am »
DLM,
Catching up on your progress, trials, and tribulations.
Boy do you have your hands full! I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's behavior.
I am one of 6 girls, and yep there's usually one who needs all the attention.
She will never admit she had a problem, nor will she seek shrink help if advised!
She obviously did not get her emotional needs met as a child.  :(
You may have "hogged" the emotional support of your parents, who knows. And she resents that (??? ???)
It may take you longer to get back to driving and such.
Have you tried keeping a journal and writing down how you feel each day with all your different symptoms?
Then you can look back and hopefully say"Oh yea, I am improving!"
It is so slow and steady, we have a hard time seeing the progress. We just want to feel better, is that too much to ask?
Hang in there, and it is still baby steps. :'(
Maureen
















06/06-Translab 3x2.5 vascular L AN- MAMC,Tacoma WA
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Dfcman

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #50 on: May 21, 2009, 10:29:02 pm »
Yeah...sometimes I think the months of being in the hospital eating from a tube that went down my nose, pissing in a bag, ****ting in another while a tube coming out of every orifice is no measure to the psychological and post traumatic effects of having an AN.  Facial paralysis has been one of my biggest challenges especially since I want to go in a sales type career.  Its hard to have the aspects stripped from you that you may never may be able to smile again and people constantly look at you because you are deformed it seems. Its hard in a college type atmosphere.  The eye thing sucks too! The truth is there are always alternatives out there  Alot of them involve more surgery but many cases its well worth it. 
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Post Op as of 7/20/06

DLM4me

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #51 on: May 28, 2009, 11:37:37 am »
The inability to focus my eyes is really getting to me.  I'm lucky if I have a total of 30 minutes per day when I can see well enough to read--and I have to use those minutes judiciously, like opening important mail, paying bills online, etc.  I'd RATHER be hanging out on this and other forums, but I have to prioritize.

My neighbor took my car in for its smog check, so that's all taken care of.  She was very sweet about it and I was very grateful. :)

I'm trying to convince myself that I'm seeing some voluntary movement on the right side of my face.  I strain and strain to make SOMETHING move! I honestly don't think anything's happening over there, I mean other than just following along as the left side moves.  But I keep looking!

About my sister: She's ALWAYS been the one to get all the attention in the family.  That's what she's used to.  And since I lived thousands of miles away for many years--during ALL of the other illnesses/operations/hospitalizations/etc.--she carved a niche as "the sick one" in the family.  When I first moved back home I couldn't BELIEVE how much she complains about every little thing--like allergies, which I have, too--many times worse than hers, and I NEVER complain.  At family gatherings the discussion revolves around, "How are you feeling? I know you were SO SICK! Are your allergies better? Did your sore throat go away?"  The first time I sat through one of those events, I just sat there thinking to myself, "*I* am the one who is sick...but I'm not saying a word.  This is really weird."

Oh!  This would be funny if it weren't so pathetic: She's TRYING to backpedal on the "you didn't have brain surgery" statement!  My best friend has exchanged a few e-mails with her, and in one my sister actually said about it, "That was a joke!"  Um, no, it was not a joke.  Not when she said it to me and not when she said it to ALL the other people in our family (most of whom have reported back to me).  So if she thinks she's going to get out of this by claiming it was a joke, she's out of luck.  Each relative who told me about it said that when she told them I did NOT have brain surgery they had two thoughts: "Has she lost her mind?!" and "Why on earth is she trying to trivialize what her SISTER has gone through?"

I DID send that letter along with a stack of printouts explaining that it is brain surgery.  I invited her to come to my next appointment with Dr Brackmann so she can tell the world's foremost authority on this type of brain tumor that it's not brain surgery.  Surprisingly (wink, wink), I haven't heard back from her yet!  I guess she doesn't want to humiliate the hell out of herself with her little "joke."


Middle fossa craniotomy 04/08/09, Drs Brackmann, Schwartz, et al, St Vincent/HEI in Los Angeles.

Kate B

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Re: Post-op blues
« Reply #52 on: May 28, 2009, 06:57:48 pm »
The inability to focus my eyes is really getting to me.  I'm lucky if I have a total of 30 minutes per day when I can see well enough to read--!

About my sister: She's ALWAYS been the one to get all the attention in the family.  That's what she's used to. 

Oh!  This would be funny if it weren't so pathetic: She's TRYING to backpedal on the "you didn't have brain surgery" statement! 

I DID send that letter along with a stack of printouts explaining that it is brain surgery.  I invited her to come to my next appointment with Dr Brackmann so she can tell the world's foremost authority on this type of brain tumor that it's not brain surgery.  Surprisingly (wink, wink), I haven't heard back from her yet!  I guess she doesn't want to humiliate the hell out of herself with her little "joke."

I am sorry to hear about the blurry vision. I hope that your appointment at House goes well.

Regarding your sister:   It sounds like it is an escalating situation where you are each garnering support of other family members.
My feeling is your sister likes drama. Most important is to realize that you can't change her behavior.   Her backpedaling is her way of backing down because she probably realizes she was out on a limb relative to it.  Instead of saying, "I am sorry", she is nervously telling people she was joking.
You have nothing to prove to anyone and expending valuable recovery energy on it only zaps you. In my humble opinion I would try to let it go now.

When is your appointment with Dr. B again?

Also, what a great neighbor to help take care of your car!!!

Kate
« Last Edit: May 28, 2009, 07:04:37 pm by Kate B »
Kate
Middle Fossa Surgery
@ House Ear Institute with
Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Hitselberger
November 2001
1.5 right sided AN

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