My recovery over this past year has actually been going extremely well. My facial nerves have recovered enough that most people don't really notice my problem. My natural short hair does very little to hide the scar tough. Actually it has healed well except for the part down by my neck muscle which has spread some from all the turning. I starting playing golf again at 5 months and I noticed that my eyes were not strong enough or fast enough to track the ball off the tee. I kept losing the ball right off the drive. This was a physical limitation, which I overcame by having other watch my ball when it was my turn. Flash forward 11 months and lots of hand eye excerises. My eyes are fast enough to keep up with the drive of the tee. With a new driver, I'm actually hitting it straighter and farther then before AN. Last week, I participated in a Charity golf tournament for Phil Garner (former coach of the Houston Astros). It was very fun and has renewed my interest in golf all together. I now look forward to playing golf. Unfortunately, it may be one of the few sports I can still play well. Now for the ugly truth.
Last weekend, some friends called me up to play coed softball. This was something I truly loved to do, but hadn't had much time to play before AN and was to afraid to try after AN. But I felt good, so what the heck. I was game. I showed up to the softball field with my Nike cleats and certainly looked the part with my glove, bat bag, etc... Here is where thing started to go down hill. Normally, I would play shortstop or left field, but I knew my limitations. At 38, I no spring chicken and post AN, I certainly wasn't going to set any land speed records. Everyone else out there was in there 20s and early 30s. So, I jogged out the righ center field to take my position. A spot that get little action. On my way out, I noticed parts of the cleats on my shoe laying in the field. Turns out its been longer than I thought, the sole on my left cleat was rotted and breaking apart before my eyes. As the innings went on, more and more of the cleat kept falling off until all I had left was the felt soles. I chose not to make a big deal out of it and just kept playing. By the end of the game, my socks were wet from the grass soaking through the shoes. It was embarrassing, but by no means #1 on my embarrassment list.
2nd inning i was finally up to bat. Only about 3 people their knew I had AN surgery, everyone else had no idea. My stature and previous play was such that everybody backed up expecting I would hit it out of the park. And then it happened -- strike 1, strike 2, strike 3. I'm out... and the pitcher was a girl. I don't know if she was a great pitcher or I was a horrible batter. My timing of the softball pitch was so off that I struck out in one big production. No one in the field said anything... Those that knew me looked in disbelief. Those that didn't we afraid to make fun of it because they didn't know me. I walked off more embarrassed and dissapointed in myself. I wanted so hard to hit the ball that I was swinging way before the ball every got to me. I felt bad for the guys I left hanging on bases. They were probably wondering where in the world did the others find me.
Ok, so I jog back out to right center field and more of my shoes are missing with every inning. First hit was a pop fly out to right center field....Hey that's me. I see the ball coming and run over and back up watching its trajectory come to my glove like a homing pigeon. Just, as the ball gets to me, I realize that I'm off by about 2 inches. Yep, the ball flys right over my glove and beyond me. How embarrassing... so I turn to run down the ball. Now, I'm starting to fell like the kid in elementary school that is chosen last of anyone and he is chosen because they have to pick you.
My next opportunity in the field was even worse. I was determined not to let the ball get passed me. So here comes a line drive to right center field. I start running up to it to scoop it up on the bounce. Big mistake, one bounce and i lost it, again right pass me. Oh the tragedy. I was embarrassed that it got passed me again. This never happens. Again, I start believing the other teammates questioning my ability to even play the sport. I thought that was the worse of it, but oh there was more to come.
In another inning in the game, I'm starting to pray "please don't let that ball come this way", but the other team seems to have found a weak spot in the field. BAMN..another line drive is headed for me. Learning from my mistakes, I try not to make them again. No way this ball as getting past me. I start running towards it at full steam and get down to scoop it. I decide to lower my body into it to block the ball so it doesn't go pass me. And like slow motion in a bad movie, I lean over to bend down. My mind is telling me to stop, but my balance just keeps right on going. I find myself on my knees rolling in the grass. Like the titantic stopping on a dime. It just wasn't going to happen. I'm thinking O lord, did everyone just see that. Immediately, I scramble to find the ball and throw it over to 2nd base. That's it, I've reached the pinnacle of self humiliation.
It got so bad that evertime thereafter when it was my time to bat, the outfield actually scooted in closer. Oh the humanity....
In the end, the game was tied and fun was had by all, mostly at my expense. I was so embarrassed after the game, that I decided not to hang around. I went home and threw away what was left of the soleless shoes in the trash. That night, one of my friends called me to check up on me. He was wondering where I went afterwards. I told him I was so fustrated in my play that I didn't want to hang around. He said yeah, "you looked kinda rusty". What an understatement. He had forgotten that I had AN surgery just last year, and suddenly remember when I started playing. He tried to cheer me up and urged me to continue to come out, practice, and play with them. Honesty, I think maybe I am getting to old for this kinda stuff. Maybe softball just isn't for me anymore post AN. I think I'll stick to golf. Its easier to hit a ball that's standing still and its always going away from you... yeah that's the ticket. I'll stick to golf for now.
Thanks for letting me share.
