Author Topic: Perspective  (Read 3997 times)

arkansasfarmgirl

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 188
Perspective
« on: June 08, 2009, 11:56:21 am »
It finally hit home for me that not everybody around me is as obsessed with my facial paralysis/recovery as I am.  I have been smiling now, truly smiling with teeth and everything for about 3 weeks.  Not a perfect smile, but I'm thrilled about it.  2 days ago, my MOTHER, who I see just about every single day, said "oh my goodness, you're smiling!"  I'm like where have you been, Woman??  She said, sorry, I guess I haven't really looked at you lately.  ROFL  (you mean I'm not the center of her universe??  wth?  hahaha)

Vonda

lori67

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3113
Re: Perspective
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2009, 12:06:37 pm »
Vonda,

That sounds just like something my mother would say!   :D  But you know that mom always knows her children are the most beautiful in the whole world, no matter what!

Enjoy your smiling - I hope you get lots of opportunities to use it!   ;D

Lori
Right 3cm AN diagnosed 1/2007.  Translab resection 2/20/07 by Dr. David Kaylie and Dr. Karl Hampf at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.  R side deafness, facial nerve paralysis.  Tarsorraphy and tear duct cauterization 5/2007.  BAHA implant 11/8/07. 7-12 nerve jump 9/26/08.

Kaybo

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4232
Re: Perspective
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2009, 12:55:54 pm »
Vonda~
So happy that things are working out for you and that you have a TOOTHY smile!  I think that people get used to how it is and don't really think about the inadequacies like we do and then one day they really notice and then they are like, "WOW!"  At least that is how it has been since my T3...

;D
Translab 12/95@Houston Methodist(Baylor College of Medicine)for "HUGE" tumor-no size specified
25 yrs then-14 hour surgery-stroke
12/7 Graft 1/97
Gold Weight x 5
SSD
Facial Paralysis-R(no movement or feelings in face,mouth,eye)
T3-3/08
Great life!

Jim Scott

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7241
  • 1943-2020 Please keep Jim's family in your hearts
Re: Perspective
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2009, 04:16:22 pm »
Vonda ~

Thanks for your post about perspective.  It raises a good point. 

I thinks it's axiomatic that as human beings (movie stars excepted) we're each focused on ourselves a lot more than anyone else may be.  I don't think that's egotistical or vain, just reality. We care about how we look and feel on a minute-to minute basis because we have to live in our body.  No one else does.  Of course I care about how others around me, especially my family, feel -  and if they don't look well, I'm concerned - and say so.  That's doubly true for children.  However, I'm even more concerned about how I'm feeling today because that will affect how I function.  If I think I don't look good (well, 'presentable' will do) that will also affect my state of mind to some extent.  In that regard, I think most of us are the same.  Of course, I could be wrong.     

I don't expect those around me to have the same level of concern for my health or appearance on as I do.  I'm sure your mom was just being honest.  Although you may be keenly aware of any facial mobility deficits, she isn't and just accepts you as the daughter she's always loved.  That you can smile - with teeth showing - is great, but she probably thought you looked just fine even when you couldn't do that.  At least, that's the way I would choose to look at it.  It's a lot easier that way. ;)

Jim
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

nancyann

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2251
  • carpe diem
Re: Perspective
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2009, 09:50:06 am »
Vonda:  great news about the smile ! !    I understand about the facial concern.  I still am embarrassed to eat out b/c it doesn't look nice when I eat & I don't want to gross out other restaurant patrons.   My friends think I'm being silly.....

Always good thoughts, Nancy
2.2cm length x 1.7cm width x 1.3cm  depth
retrosigmoid 6/19/06
Gold weight 7/19/06, removed 3/07
lateral tarsel strip X3
T3 procedure 11/20/07
1.6 Gm platinum weight 7/10/08
lateral canthal sling 11/14/08
Jones tube insert right inner eye 2/27/09
2.4 Gm. Platinum chain 2017
right facial paralysis

Kaybo

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4232
Re: Perspective
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2009, 09:57:52 am »
Nancy-
I just ask for extra napkins and then when I eat, I just kind of put my hand in front of my mouth. That way I can still go & socialize but hopefully not gross anyone out!  I know your friends would just love to have you there - give it a try!!

K
Translab 12/95@Houston Methodist(Baylor College of Medicine)for "HUGE" tumor-no size specified
25 yrs then-14 hour surgery-stroke
12/7 Graft 1/97
Gold Weight x 5
SSD
Facial Paralysis-R(no movement or feelings in face,mouth,eye)
T3-3/08
Great life!

mimoore

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 736
  • Believe!
Re: Perspective
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2009, 04:26:07 pm »
That is so awesome!!! Post a photo! It can be so encouraging for those going through the graph!
Michelle  ;D
Keep smiling Vonda!
Retrosigmond surgery on June 4th, 2008 for an AN. 100% hearing loss and facial paralysis (was not prepared for facial paralysis). Size: 2.3 cm, 2.1 cm, 1.8 cm. some tumour remains along facial nerve. Pray for no regrowth. Misdiagnosed for 10 yrs.

epodjn

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
Re: Perspective
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2009, 04:39:41 pm »
I didn't even know how bad I looked when eating until I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror at a restaurant. Now I do what Kay says, just cover my mouth with a napkin and try to take tiny bites. But I refuse to let it keep my away from socializing with my friends and family. I really don't think most people notice as much as we think they do. I am a den mother and was so afraid after surgery that I would scare my little 8 year olds. Ya know what, they couldn't care less. They are only interesting in if I made brownies or not. I honestly think we are our own worst critics.
Left side 3.2cm AN/FN removed 12/8/08 Dr's. Shelton and Reichman. SSD, facial paralysis,taste issues, lateral tarrsoraphy 6/25/09,scheduled for eye and nasal valve surgery 6/22/11 life is GOOD!

Debbi

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1921
  • Originator of the Magic Scarf
    • Debbi's AN Blog
Re: Perspective
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2009, 04:33:46 pm »
Yep, I'm a big fan of the hand alongside the mouth while eating!  And, I never take a bite without "dabbing" my lip and chin with a napkin.  You just never know what may be hanging off your chin at any moment in time!   ;D

Patience.

Debbi
Debbi - diagnosed March 4, 2008 
2.4 cm Right Side AN
Translab April 30, 2008 at NYU with Drs. Golfinos and Roland
SSD Right ear, Mild synkinesis and facial nerve damage
BAHA "installed" Feb 2011 by Dr. Cosetti @ NYU

http://debsanadventure.blogspot.com

stoneaxe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 569
  • Make your good days more than make up for the bad.
    • Cape Cod Bay Challenge
Re: Perspective
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2009, 12:49:38 pm »
Tiny bites....one good thing about the eating issue is that I don't eat as fast as I used to. I'm a big guy, my wife is small. In typical big guy fashion I used to frequently finish what she didn't eat when we would go out partially because I ate too fast, finished before her,  and was still somewhat hungry. These days she typically finishes before I do. I find that I rarely finish hers....unless its something I really like of course.... ;D. Extra napkins is a must.
Bob - Official Member of the Postie/Toasty Club
6mm AN treated with Proton Beam Radiosurgery in March 2004
at Mass General Hospital, Dr's Loeffler and Chapman
Cut the little bugger out the second time around in 2009..translab at MGH with Dr's McKenna and Barker.
http://www.capecodbaychallenge.org