Hi Everyone ...... Firstly, I want to thank everyone who sent pm messages and emails – it really meant a lot during a very scary time. I hope that between my dad and Dan on my Facebook page that you were not all left out of the loop.
My eyes are somewhat focussed now so I would like to update everyone on how I am doing and what my BIG DAY was like.
The two weeks’ notice that I received leading up to surgery left me an absolute blubbering fool and I would find myself crying at the drop of a hat - - I was trying to be brave and was optimistic but just never thought the day would actually be here – it was all very surreal. My work and the online boards were all very comforting to me but believe me - - I had to read everything in privacy as the tears were an open river .....
Oct. 15th /08 – day before surgery
I took the 15th off of work to go shopping and get all the ‘essentials’ that I thought I would need while in hospital (none of which I was able to use except the toothbrush (baby) and some new p.j.’s) - I then came home and madly cleaned the house since I wanted it spic and span for when my parents were here babysitting me.
I picked up the kids from the sitter after school, we came home and ate and then Dan and I packed them and their stuff and took them over to Dan’s parents – we first stopped to buy Brendan some new skates for hockey since his first hockey lesson was the next day – day of my surgery and Poppa was going to take him. We had a quick cup of tea and then I kissed the kids and said I would see them in a couple of days – of course, I LOST it when we left to come home.
I had a quick shower and then off to bed – we needed to be at the hospital by 6:00 am on the 16th so that meant leaving the house by 4:00 ish. Surprisingly enough I was able to sleep somewhat normal.
Oct. 16th /08 – day of surgery
3:30 am – alarm went off – I had a quick shower and DID MY HAIR – Dan was laughing at me doing my hair but I told him I had no idea when I would be able to actually style my hair again as well, did not know how much of it was coming off.
4:00 am – left the house for the long, dark drive to LHSC
5:15 am – arrived at the hospital – Pre-admit was not yet open – there was a maintenance worker vacuuming the foyer and he kept banging his vacuum into things and just seemed miserable.... I told Dan that I should have a talk with him and see if he wanted to change places with me.... that I would gladly do so.
5:45 am – Pre-admit opens and the day’s surgery patients start filing in.
6:00 am – Go to 2nd floor Surgical Prep ward. They give me my fancy wardrobe for the day..... two gowns, slippers, support stockings that go from my toes to my crotch and a bonnet – they do blood-work, EKG and another chest x-ray. The Anaesthesiologist actually finds me waiting for the chest x-ray so he comes to talk to myself and Dan - - I just remember telling Dan that his glasses looked dirty .....
7:00 am – 7:50 am – Dr. Lownie and Dr. Parnes residents come in to introduce themselves to me and to explain the procedure in more detail and do some simple Neuro tests..... what is your name?, what is the date?, where are you?, lift your right leg, lift your left leg, arms straight in the air – palms up ....... they are all very, very nice and are VERY optimistic as to a good outcome .....surgery is slated to start at 8:00 am and end at 6:00 pm. The I/V Nurse comes in and get’s me all connected – 3 lines. The Head Surgical Nurse comes in and says it is time for me to kiss Dan “see you later� – I thought that was nice – she didn’t say “kiss goodbye� ...... She wheels me away and the tears just start streaming from my eyes ...... she rubs my shoulder and reassures me all will be well - - she can understand why I am nervous and says she is nervous too as she is expecting her first child – she makes me chuckle when she says ....�by the way, you have a really nice tan�.......
We arrive in the surgical theatre and I notice (even without my glasses) about 30-40 people - - I have to scooch over to a really narrow steel table covered in blue plastic ....... they put a nice hot flannel blanket over me - - I then notice the Anaesthesiologist to my left (with the still smudgy glasses) – he says he will give me something to relax me – the next thing I know I am saying my hand stings and that is it ...........
Poor Dan, there is a surgical waiting area with a student Nurse whom is to give updates to the patients families from the surgical suite...... he is afraid to leave the area but does once to get something to eat (she says that is ok) but he had to leave his and my name in case they came with an update - - all the other patients families are getting updates but Dan (and by the time my parents and one brother have arrived) does not get the first update until 3:00 in the afternoon! It was the Head Surgical Nurse – and she says things are going fine but that the 2nd Surgeon is arriving to do his part, that I am half way done. Dr. Lownie – the Neurosurgeon comes out at 8:30 pm to let everyone know the surgery was a success and that they got all the tumour – that it was very, very deep in the middle of my head – that my facial nerve (although stretched) was very much still intact – that it was monitored throughout the whole surgery – and that although weak on the AN side – facial will come back, hearing is not guaranteed to come back but that too was monitored and may or may not rectify itself to the state it was pre-surgery. My balance nerve was already severed but the right side had already compensated for the left. So all in all Dan, my parents and brother were most relieved and were told they could see me in about an hour. They could not believe the surgery lasted 12 STINKING hours – Eesh!
9:00 pm – I remember kind of gagging and the Nurses in ICU Observation waking me - - they had just taken out the breathing tube and they wanted me to do the Neuro test ..... all the above I talked about ..... what day it was? where was I?, etc. etc. I passed with flying colors! The next thing I remember is asking to use the bathroom and they said I had a catheter (YUK!) I also still had the support hose on but also these things on my legs that would inflate and deflate every 10 seconds or so – to keep the circulation going ..... I was also still on oxygen.
9:30 pm – Mom, dad, Dan and my brother are allowed to see me for 10 mins ...... I just remember doing the ‘thumbs up’ for Dan – that was our signal that all was good. I told them to go home and sleep – they still had a long drive home.
Oct. 17th /08 – around 9:00 am – they allow me a little water – they take me for a CAT scan. They bring me back to ICU and that is the start of the worst two days I can remember in a L O N G time - - I could not stop throwing up – they had me on a steroid drip, anti-nausea drip, and a normal hydration I/V - - they explained that it was not the meds making me throw up but the new neuro-connections being made ..... it was horrible at any rate ..... my right hip is also very, very sore – and they explain to me that I am in a position during the surgery as a literal ‘lie down and fall asleep on a park bench – and that I am also in a Halo so there was absolutely no position change throughout the 12 hours – they hip feels better after a couple of days.
They take the catheter out (thank goodness) and they tell me they will be moving me to the Neuro floor by about 1:00 pm or so – that I am doing really great (even though I feel like absolute kaka).
Mom, dad, Dan and my other brother arrive in ICU – yep, just in time to witness all the vomiting once again – Dan was so awesome with me – I just had visions of all the staples/stitches in the back of my head flying out pinging off the ceiling.
I am moved to a semi-private room on the Neuro floor – YEY! Apparently there was this very large black woman beside me – I do not really remember her – and Dan said that she was HUGE – as was her daughter - - I guess the daughter was crawling around on her mom’s bed and her mom said ....�don’t you have any underwear on under those jeans? Her daughter said she did – and the mom said “why can I see the crack of your bum then? and the father said “it’s because she has her big, black booty shoved into white girl jeans�! Oh my, Dan got quick the chuckle .... she was released that day after I arrived in that room. Thank goodness as she really wanted to chat with me and I thanked her for that but I just did not have to energy to talk – to anyone. I then got a 29 year old mom as a room-mate – she was very nice and I hope to keep in touch with her – sadly she is still in the hospital – they do not know what is wrong with her – she basically, literally can die if she falls asleep – not only does she stop breathing – her lungs stop functioning .... she has a 5.5 month old, 2 and 6 year old – prayers for her please.
ANYWAY ...... I am determined that I want to get up and use the bathroom but they will not let me until Physio comes in to assist me walk – vision is very off as is balance - - and headaches are unbearable – I am getting codeine injections in the belly. I have used the bed-pan twice and tell them that I don’t want to use it anymore – I want to use the toilet - - Physio comes in and tells me that I will be able to use the toilet on the 18th – that I am not allowed up yet. I am awakened every hour or so for the Neuro test as well as for them to lubricate my eye – it will not close all the way – close but not all.
Oct. 18th /08 – The morning Nurse comes in and I remind her about the toilet - - she says ok – she get me to sit at the side of the bed for a bit and unhooks my legs from the circulation machine and helps me to the bathroom – she is pretty impressed with me! I tell her I want a shower – she says she can sponge me again and I said no, that I really want to try a sit-down shower – so she gets her ‘rain-gear’ on and unhooks the I/V temporarily and gets right in there with me into the shower - - AHHHHHH it feels so nice to rinse off ..... I cannot wash my hair though - - ICK! I feel so much better and the vomiting has ceases somewhat .... they start me on water and ginger ale and then introduce the odd popsicle – it feels so good – my throat is somewhat swollen and very, very sore from the breathing tube.
Oct. 19th – 20th /08 – Really do not remember much except sleeping, trying to walk the halls, and showering – a lot. Dan brought the kids to see me on the Sat. and Mitchell was afraid of me L He has actually just come along now and will hug me again ..... unfortunately, they were witness to one of my sudden vomiting episodes and this freaked them a bit ...... Mitchell’s class made me a very beautiful card and Bren’s teacher sent some magazines for me. I loved the fact that people wanted to visit – but there really are some surgeries and times when it really is not worth it – I could barely keep my eyes open and did not even attempt to wear my glasses the first few days as my vision was so screwy.
Oct. 20th 21st /08 – I had ‘Norm’ the Nurse – super nice guy – great incentive to have my shower by myself – no man other than Dan is going to scrub me down – heehee – since I was able to eat some and keep fluids down I asked if the I/V’s could come out – he said yes – WOOHOO! Freedom! No more dragging that thing around with me ....... my girlfriend who I had not seen in awhile surprised me on the Monday night and came to visit me – she brought some frozen gelato from a specialty shop in London – what a sweetie - - it was nice as I had told Dan not to come that day since the kids had their first swimming lessons.
Oct. 21st /08 – Dr. Lownie and Dr. Parnes residents all came once again at 6:20 am (as they has every morning since the surgery) and told me that I was in the clear to go home - - that I was doing awesome and the best place to be would be at home - - I was a bit shocked since I had only really had one good day but I had Physio on the Monday afternoon and my therapist was very impressed that I was able to walk unassisted ........ I really do have to THANK GOD that my balance was not all that affected - - dizzy spells yes, but I was able to get around at ease by myself. I am so relieved to be coming home and to be doing better than what they thought ..... that all the other post-operative things will take weeks/months to rectify.
Dan picks me up by 11:00 am and my parents come down from their home at the Lake to spend the rest of the week with us .......
I will not lie ..... this has been HELL! I do sleep a lot but just generally felt weak, fatigued, half my face does not work (which is normal) at this stage of the game but should come back since the facial nerve was 'saved' and the headaches are bad – but the tumour was BENIGN and is GONE. I am so VERY grateful that however ****ty I feel right now – things will get better in the coming months .....
Today is Oct. 29th and Dan took me to get the stitches / staples out ..... I feel like I have been hit by a truck ..... but my face is improving every day – I now have a ‘half-smile’ and sadly can see some wrinkles on the left reappearing
the bruising from the Halo is subsiding as is the sore facial bones, I am SSD right now and that may or may not come back, my neck is killing me as they had to severe the neck muscles – but that too is getting better. I am told that it could be 3-4 months for things to feel really good again – but they will ---- Hey I am still up today without a nap so that is a plus ------ and Friday is Mitchell’s 5th birthday so my big task for this week is to be able to have Dan pick me up and we will deliver pizza’s to his class as a surprise for his birthday - - crooked smile and all ......
Here is a link to my Facebook with some pics ......
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007947&l=2cb13&id=1353991019
