Embarrassment from Not Hearing Correctly

[dalern]

I am so glad my processor will be attached at the end of September.  I am out of town right now and was invited to a dinner party last night.  There were only 6 people present, I knew 4 of them.  It was NOT noisy.  One of the people I did not know introduced himself to me.  I said, "Glad to meet you, John".  We continued to talk and my host asked if I had met everyone.  I told him that I had just met John.  As the evening went on, I realized that everyone else was calling John by the name of Doug.  I was mortified.  I had been calling him John all evening.  John and Doug don't even sound the same....no similarity.  It just makes me so aware of the difficulty in having SSD.  I truly hope that after my "gotcha day" this problem will be far less noticeable and that I will have far better word discrimination.  It makes me so nervousl
~Dale

[leapyrtwins]

Dale -

you will definitely be able to avoid this problem - and many others - once you get to start wearing your processor.

Jan

[Sam Rush]

It seems rude of them not to correct you that John was Doug.

[Jim Scott]

Dale ~

I've been SSD for over 5 years and completely understand your frustration with hearing difficulties.  I've opted not to go the BAHA route for a number of reasons but that could change some fine day.  However, I've learned (the hard way) that, in some situations, I  just need to tell a person that I'm deaf in one ear and ask them to repeat - or simply turn my 'good' ear toward them to pick up their name or whatever.  Granted, it's an acquired 'skill'. Some acquaintances now ask me "is this your good ear?" and make a point to speak to me on my right (hearing) side.  

Because you're awaiting the processor for your BAHA, these kinds of incidents will soon be history for you.  I know the BAHA isn't a panacea but it does seem to alleviate a lot of the stress involved in being SSD.  I believe I cope very well with my hearing loss but for many, that isn't sufficient and so, the BAHA is there to help - and it does.  Hang in there.

Jim

[sunfish]

I have one "bad" ear.  After CK, my docs say my hearing in that ear actually tests better than before, but you couldn't prove it by me.  Seems like my speech discrimination is just as bad/worse than ever.  I've only been aware of this for a year, and wear a hearing aid, but I've had all sorts of hearing impairment related incidents - embarrassing, funny, confusing, disorienting, frustrating.

Will be interested to hear how BAHA works for you.  Hope I never need one but, realistically, it may be in my future what with the AN and otosclerosis (conductive loss) on top!

[dalern]

Thank you all.  I knew this group would understand!

If I THINK I am not hearing something correctly, I definitely will ask to have them repeat, and Jim, I am ALWAYS turning the left side of my head towards people so I can hear them.  This time, with the situation the other night, I THOUGHT I had heard correctly!
~Dale

[iluuvpups]

Hey Dale.  I am SSD post translab surgery and have trouble hearing things clearly all the time.  Sometimes I just smile and nod as if I heard what was being said.  Other times, I have to say "what" repeatedly.  And I've found that I too have mis-heard what was said.  So what can you do?  I try not to be too embarrassed because this is who I am now.  Yes, it's frustrating, but it's also a fact of life that many people lose their hearing as they age, let alone have a problem like this.  I just hope that others are understanding and patient.

[lori67]

Dale,

Don't feel too bad...I do it all the time, even before I was SSD.  I'm just bad with names!  At least now I have an excuse!   

Lori

[CHD63]

Lori .....

I was thinking the same thing!  Even before the AN (and accompanying hearing loss), I tried to always repeat a person's name out loud when being introduced.  Now I am doubly sure to say it back so the individual can correct me if I heard it wrong, plus it reinforces my remembrance of the name.

Like Jim, I often tell a new person up front that I am hearing challenged on the left.  By doing that, I avoid potential misunderstandings and feeling "stupid."

Best thoughts.

Clarice

[opp2]

I did that with the first nurse I met after my surgery. I was sure he said his name was Chris. All day I called him Chris, and introduced him to my family as Chris. He corrected it when I did introduce him. For the rest of my stay I called him 'Terrynotchris'.
Thing was he didn't find it very funny. I sure did, but then I was on morphine at the time.

[dalern]

You guys are all great, and it is just nice knowing I am not alone!
~Dale

[hjb4971]

I actually had a sales clerk in Mennards ask me if I was stupid or just incredibly rude for not answering him because he came up on my left side out of my site-line.  After I got over the embarrassment I was pretty mad.  Once I received my Ponto I couldn't wait to go back to noisy stores to see how well I would do. I did have to change to my second program (that is set up for noisy spots) but could hear my bride when she talked to me from the left side.  Hopefully now no-one will ask me if I'm rude unless I actually am.

 

[saralynn143]

I actually had a sales clerk in Mennards ask me if I was stupid or just incredibly rude for not answering him because he came up on my left side out of my site-line. 

Wow. I think the clerk proved he was both. I hope you spoke to customer service about the incident.

Sara

[hjb4971]

Thanks, but no I didn't, I quickly realized how disabled I had become, and made up my mind to find a solution.   
Remember the original ROCKY movie? When Rocky was getting soundly beaten up someone at ringside asked his manager (Burgess Meredith) why he didn't stop the fight and the manager said "cause he's getting mad, and when he's mad, he's dangerous....this fight is just about to turn around."

That experience gave me the impetus to seek out a solution to my fight to hear, which in my case was a baha implant. Now I'm trying to maximize its benefits.